Alright MomLife mommas, I have a “is this okay or not okay” type thing.
I messaged my friend (whose husband is my husband’s good friend) asking if she wanted to split costs on a private train room thing for a special Polar Express event happening near Christmas time. we each have 6 people in our families and the private room would fit up to 15 people. We agreed to split the cost evenly (1200 total). I asked this friend because it’s one of my husband’s only good friends, and because we have the same amount of people, meaning splitting the costs would be fair, aaaanddddd our kids are all friends and I thought it would be really cool to do this with them.
Well, after I thought we agreed on everything, my friend messaged me asking how I felt about adding someone else.
I was really upset because my husband and I are really anti social. I thought it would be someone I knew anyway, but I told her no, I thought it would be nice for just our families to do it, etc… and her response was something along the lines of “well she’s a single mom and this would be good for her and the kids, and she’ll let me know if she can make it on Friday.”
🤬🖕🏼
So she invited her friend to our thing before even asking me first.
I find this incredibly rude.
Is it normal to invite someone without asking the person who had the idea in the first place?
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What did your husband say? It seems like neither one of you are enthusiastic about it but he’d be the one totally against it. But yeah, this is rude of her.
I'm generally a "the more the merrier" kinda person and do not care at all if someone invites their mom n nem, to like a BBQ or somethin. To make specific plans, a payment arrangement and all that, THEN say "Oh yeah, what's her boobs and her brats are comin". Um....excuse me, what??!?! 🤯
Our options would be as follows;
1) We splittin everything EVENLY, by 3. I don't give a FUCK if we have twice the family she does or not. 🤷♀️
2) They can go just the 2 of them, their kids and split everything in half.
3) Myself, hubs and kiddo would say fuck em all and get our own room for the show.
Tommy absolutely hates get togethers, and being social (even though he always has something to say and can make friends with anyone). I don’t think people mind as much as he does so chances are your friends don’t mind. I wish I liked the “the more the merrier” thing but I’m a social introvert; if you’re my friend I will have fun and be lively but if I don’t know people I’m really awkward and quiet. Tommy just… doesn’t like people. Lol. I’m sure we would all have fun but this just bummed me out that my friend would do this. So it’s a bitch move, but I already asked my grandparents to go with us so I’ll just buy the tickets and tell my friend she can invite all the people she wants. 😭🤦🏼♀️
I think this is better. Get your own private cart & let her & her friend get their own. That way you can still go & not be uncomfortable.
Just let her know so she knows you’re not paying her.
@kimberly_preemie-mom so are you guys going with just your family and grandparents, or her family, your family, the lady and your grandparents?
Either way, I'm happy you're still getting to go, and I hope you have an amazing time.
I’m no help, because I am the kind of person that’s “the more the merrier”. (That’s just me, I’m the most outgoing/love being around people person that’s ever lived), but we are also getting a private room! Are you doing V&T Railway?
Oh! And I’ve been meaning to tell you to… My friend Jessey, the one that did your pictures!, said that your boys are some of the most well behaved boys she’s ever seen! 😍❤️
I’m totally down to meet more people generally, but I wanted my husband to have fun, and this friend’s husband is his best friend (basically), so they would have fun together, the kids would all have fun together, then I’d be the odd one out since my friend knows that girl and would be hanging out with her… so it just doesn’t seem like fun at that point. Yes, definitely talking about the V&T Railway thing; I’ve wanted to do it for years but haven’t done it yet and the private car seemed like the way to go!
And that’s so sweet. 🥰
@kimberly_preemie-mom, that totally makes sense! And reading this helps me to understand that I shouldn’t invite people without asking others. Because now I’m realizing that I think I’m that person. I’ll do better!
Personally, I still say you go. ❤️
The magic in the kids eyes when Santa showed up… It’s so great! I honestly think you’ll have a really good time still.
It was so much fun. ❤️
Since she’s already paid (you mentioned that you’re paying her back) then maybe just her and that lady can go. She didn’t even acknowledge your feelings. Just continued on with what she wanted. I probably wouldn’t go if it were me. 🧐
She hasn’t bought the tickets yet. But I was very straight forward in my payment plan with her, but she said she wouldn’t be able to pay until Friday which I was fine with. It’s a good thing she hasn’t paid yet because now I’m not interested in going with her.
It’s definitely not normal to invite someone to an event planned by someone else without first asking the planner of the event.
I guess I would have asked first. Nothing wrong about asking to add a person but already inviting her without hearing what your thoughts were was a bad idea. I dunno, this all sounds disastrous.
I don't think it's normal to invite someone without asking the person who invited you first. It's like you offer someone a piece of gum, then they ask someone else if they'd like a piece of gum, uh excuse me, that gum isn't yours to share, smh. Has everything been paid for already?
No, the plan was my Friend was going to buy the tickets this Friday, I was going to give her 200, then before the middle of November (or before) I’d pay the other 400 (I go back to work at the end of October so that’s why I told her I’d pay her by the middle of November). So nothing has been paid for yet, thankfully.
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Wow she didn’t even acknowledge your message when you said you’d prefer it just be your 2 families. She completely blew you off. I definitely wouldn’t be ok with more people coming and I would just say you can’t go.