So, just throwing around ideas for my financial security once I am divorced.
So, just throwing around ideas for my financial security once I am divorced.
Tell me if I am crazy. Husband owns a business that he started during our marriage while I was SAHM. Legally the business is a marital asset, however I don’t know what percent I am entitled to since my state is not 50/50. The business makes bank. Husband brings in anywhere between 30-50k a week. (Doesn’t pay himself that much but reinvests most back into the business). I have two choices. I can have him buy me out and pay me a chunk of money while he continues to grow the business and benefit from all the future gains while I don’t. Or I can ask to be made a partner in the business, take on a small role in running it (which I have no problem doing, he’s always discussed the business dealings and decisions with me so I already know what I need to know) and then continue to get a percentage of profits indefinitely as my own personal income, not some money he is just giving me. What would you do? I could potentially make $500k a year as a partner (or more over the years) or I can take a lump sum that’s going to be a lot smaller in the long run and have to start over with a career. Despite my husbands poor and selfish choices in our marriage, we actually work pretty well together when it comes to making business decisions and all that. And I really don’t want to give up all the years I’ve spent with him waiting and working for this level for success. So for that much money, would you stay business partners?
FairyKarmaMomma·
Мама сына (6 лет)
If I were you, I’d be asking myself if I could handle being around him like that all the time after he cheated and chose the side chick over his wife and kids.
Me personally, I would take the lump settlement and start my own business while still collecting my monthly child support and alimony. That way you are creating your own nest egg while still being a hands on parent and he’s still taking care of his children.
Besides, he might decide he doesn’t want you as a partner and he’s going to want to settle. If he does say that, and you push to be partner for all that potential money, he might be resentful and then treat you worse than he already did.
Working and starting over again isn’t the end of the world if that means way less drama and you’re able to maintain some sanity. Kids are resilient and they adapt to new situations with supports, so if that means mommy goes to work and they go to school/daycare/after school programs but come home to a happy mommy, they will be just fine.
I’m a special needs mom who is a SAHM with a child on the spectrum helping my father raise my three siblings and business owner. If I didn’t have my husband, I would be just fine without him because I’ve never relied on his money like that, even as an SAHM. Every woman should have something going for themselves because you never know when your partner or spouse gonna do something to wreck the marriage or partnership and then what? Always make sure you have your own money…
Just a little food for thought…
Little Mommy ··
I agree in a normal situation, I’d expect to have to go back to work, get a small alimony and child support check. In this case, I can negotiate enough child support and alimony to continue to stay home at last until my baby starts kindergarten.
The thing is, it’s not “his money”. The business isn’t even “his”. While he might run it, it was started with marital funds and I have been there along the way advising decisions. It’s our business, so I don’t see this as a situation where I have nothing to fall back on as a SAHM. If he worked for someone else, then yes I’d be a lot worse off.
As for working along side him, I wouldn’t be in an office with him daily. I’d be working from home or making bank trips and picking up checks. If he wasn’t interested in keeping me as a business partner, then I wouldn’t push it. But he needs the help and he knows it bc he literally doesn’t even have time to sleep enough with all the business commitments he has and I am the only person he would ever trust to take over some of the responsibilities so it’s likely he would actually want me as a partner.
I have spent the past 7 years of our marriage sacrificing myself to take care of our kids 24/7 so he could take care of the business. I have put as much sweat equity into built this life as he has so it feels worth it to me to at least try to stay in the business. And if we try and it ends up being too hard, he can still buy me out at any point.
Heather·
Talk with a lawyer but I'd do it if I could stand being around him any amount of time.