This isn't mom related but I see a trend in people bashing women for staying with their spouse after infidelity. Or…

I disagree with you completely. Simply because it isnt a path you would choose, doesn't make it a poor or immature decision. Not every man cheats and to try to tell other women "hes probably cheating right now" simply because they have faith in their vows is childish.

Marriage is a vow. Cheating breaks that vow and those the marriage is broken and will never be the same again, nor can it be as strong. Cheating isnt just infidelity. Its broken trust, disrespect, and much more.

When I married, my husband and I were on the same page. There are 2 ways to divorce- abuse and infidelity.

Um. I see where you are coming from but cheating is never okay. Yes, I’m all for trying to make a marriage work, but sometimes walking away and being the bigger person is the answer.

If everything is going great in a marriage, a partner wouldn’t cheat. People cheat because something isn’t to their par. And that’s where communication is most important.

The posts I see where women are telling the poster they should leave are ones that say something along the lines of...

“I saw this in my SOs phone he has a history of cheating should I be worried?”

Something a long those lines. In that case yes they should end things. That constant worrying is not working on things and it drives you crazy. It’s not worth it.

Lol not all men cheat. So the “he’s probably cheating on you right now” is pretty ignorant to say. But I get what you’re saying but it definitely depends on the situation. I usually suggest counseling before calling it quits. Every relationship is different. Some can be saved and some can’t. Some shouldn’t.

I totally get what you’re saying. When I first joined the app and complained about my husband 😳 I got third degree from the self righteous crew and everyone told me to leave. He didn’t even cheat he’s just a jerk 😂

I took my vows seriously tho. I’m here to work this 💩 out. Now if he cheats I’m def walking away to clear my thoughts. If we work it out cool, but if he would cheat again, goodbye. But even once I would never look at him the same again so not sure it would work but for those women who are strong like that, I admire their strength.

My cousin cheated on his fiancé and got both pregnant at the same time. They were young, too, and already had a child. She chose to work it out. He paid child support for 18 years and she has never left his side. They are married and had 2 more children after that. He promised her to never cheat again and he proves it to her by being an open book. He won’t even go anywhere alone anymore.

But to the players, repeat offenders ... 👋🏼

I really love this💕 I understand cheating isn’t okay and shouldn’t happen but until it happens to you in your relationship it’s not that simple to understand why some choose to stay. But I love this post & honestly agree with it💜 good for you for putting it out there and taking the heat💪🏽

I don’t bash but I will defin advise women to leave if that man is cheating or toxic or problematic . Too often women are held in bondage in these fucked up marriages . Too often women lose themselves in becoming mothers and wives . Women should understand they have options and don’t have to put up with no cheating or abusive man.

Instead of putting an emphasis on “don’t cheat” my husband and I put an emphasis on open communication. If he cheats, I’d rather have him be honest with me so he doesn’t have to hide it and we can try to work through it together. If you constantly emphasize “don’t cheat” then both partners may go out of their way to hide infidelity if it does happen and I don’t want him lying just so I won’t leave him. And should something happen on my end, I don’t want to have to lie just to keep him around. I want us to be able to tell each other anything and everything. We discuss cheating regularly. My husband told me he’d probably stay with me even if I cheated on him because what we have is worth working on no matter what. I obviously don’t plan on cheating but knowing that he loves me unconditionally is a good feeling. I love our marriage and I love our openness towards the topic. I love that we’re both mature enough to know that people make mistakes. I also love that neither of us feel suffocated and controlled. My dad actually cheated on my mom A LOT throughout their marriage. He hid it so she’d stay with him. She found out years down the road and after 20 years of marriage they divorced because she couldn’t handle the lies. I’m hoping to avoid that situation completely by always being honest with my husband no matter what.

But I agree with you! I will never tell someone to leave and I will never tell someone to stay. I will always tell people it’s their decision and I’ll support them no matter what.

To me, this seems similar to the people you’re saying shouldn’t bash women who stay. Sometimes it takes someone saying “get the fuck out” to work up the courage to leave. And to say that they’re probably cheating right now just seems unnecessarily judgemental. Some people truly have great, strong relationships. And I’ve been through some shit with my husband, and I decided to stay. It’s taken a lot of gut checks, hard ass work from both of us, and I’m still working through it sometimes. But sometimes if both aren’t willing to work, if someone isn’t truly remorseful, if the relationship is already broken beyond repair then infidelity is the last straw, leaving really is best for everyone.

Sorry that was an accident

I agree with most of this. I don’t think all men cheat (I don’t know how some men are even able to get a women to fuck them let alone marry them...but that’s another story). Anywho we’ve had infidelity issues many years ago. Our marriage is STRONGER now then it ever was before that.

Its also very narrow minded to tell women all of our SO's are "probably" cheating on us right now. Instead of putting all women in the same pot, you've put all men in the same pot.

And yes, to me personally, i don't care if we've been together for 20 years, if he cheats its done. 🤷‍♀️ cheating (imo) clearly means theres not only no love, he doesn't respect me anymore, and i will never trust him again. So 🤷‍♀️ i can work on our relationship all i want, that trust is just gone. I also wouldn't call someone stupid for staying, its their life not mine.

Everyone is going to have different opinions on this one, i respect that you believe it should be worked on though, in some cases it just isn't for everyone.

I see where you’re coming from but if you get cheated on i don’t understand why you would want to stay with someone that claims they love you yet they hurt you. It can take years to build something but only seconds to destroy it. I don’t judge anyone who decides to stay, but i personally wouldn’t stay because i refuse to put myself in a position where I’ll second guess everything since the trust has gone down the drain.

I'm going to have to disagree a bit. If a man is continuing to cheat on you then he doesn't respect you point blank 🔊.

I do believe that men can change and sometimes it really is a one time thing.

Also is kinda fucked up to say all men cheat, I don't believe that.

I completely agree with this. Cheating is never okay, but to bash someone for staying with their partner and choosing to forgive them for their actions is ridiculous. Some ppl are willing to work through it, others arent. To each their own.

I disagree with you completely. Simply because it isnt a path you would choose, doesn't make it a poor or immature decision. Not every man cheats and to try to tell other women "hes probably cheating right now" simply because they have faith in their vows is childish.

Marriage is a vow. Cheating breaks that vow and those the marriage is broken and will never be the same again, nor can it be as strong. Cheating isnt just infidelity. Its broken trust, disrespect, and much more.

When I married, my husband and I were on the same page. There are 2 ways to divorce- abuse and infidelity.

Every relationship is going to be different. You’re not going to have the same morals as everyone else

Um. I see where you are coming from but cheating is never okay. Yes, I’m all for trying to make a marriage work, but sometimes walking away and being the bigger person is the answer.

If everything is going great in a marriage, a partner wouldn’t cheat. People cheat because something isn’t to their par. And that’s where communication is most important.