This isn't mom related but I see a trend in people bashing women for staying with their spouse after infidelity. Or…

@miss_understood seems to be you're the one looking for a debate with everyone on here...

Ok, so after I explained what I meant, you're still going. If you took the time to read their comments and didnt read my responses, that's not my problem and quite frankly, you're opinion is not interesting enough for me to entertain so I'm just going to leave it right here. It seems on every post you make, you can never see the other person's side or even try to understand so it's useless to debate with you

there are multiple comments on this post reading your post the same way I am. Which would lead one to believe the message wasn't conveyed properly

Isn't the opposite of being open minded narrow minded? So yes, if you feel there's only one way to handle infidelity in a relationship, it's being narrow minded. The point of the post was to open up your thinking. Anybody who thinks one way and isn't open to other possibilities should not give advice. And this is why. But you disagree and I appreciate your opinion but I think you missed the whole point so I doubt the conversation will go anywhere other than you finding flaws in how I worded it.

I read your post quite clearly. You call people narrow minded right from the beginning. You chose a controversial subject, put people down in your post and then expected everyone to just agree with you? You keep going on...

What are you saying?? How am I belittling people who choose not to stay? Did you read the post or were you so eager to start a debate that you just started making things up?

you're telling people not to belittle those who stay, yet you are completely belittling those who don't while doing so. What does the bible say about hypocrisy?

Take it how you want. I explained to the other people what I meant and you can read that if you feel you need more clarity but other than that I can't repeat myself again. This post wasn't about how rarely people survive infidelity. It was simply about leaving the decision up to them if they want to move forward with the spouse

I'm not bringing religion into it. God doesn't condone cheating and abuse in the bible either.

I'm not the only one who took it that way, so you didnt communicate your message in the way you intended. To sit there and go on about how mature it is to stay and all the strength it requires implies the opposite is true if you choose not to. I specifically said I was not speaking to belittling anyone becuase I haven't seen it.

Can people who deal with infidelity survive without compromising their own integrity? Yes, but RARELY. There's a lot of work that goes into it. Work that many people don't do when they stay with a cheating spouse.

If we're referring to the bible, yes those are the 2 ways. But God also isnt really fond of divorce and says that if you can, work on your marriage before calling it quits. Granted both parties are willing to work. I'm sure everyone was on the same page when they got married. Otherwise, they wouldn't have gotten married if their spouse said, well...I might cheat or lie to you.

Yikes let me explain it to you like I explained to everyone else.

1. Cheating is not ok

2. You should not criticize or belittle those who stay after infedelity

3. You took the "hes probably cheating" part out of context. Think of it as me saying, no one really knows for sure because nothing in life is promised

4. People who have faith in their vows probably know that people are human and they do stupid things under certain circumstances but they probably also know that if a person is willing to change and be better, it can be fixed for the sake of their love

5. Love changes, people change, you're not always going to look the way you did or think the way you did when you first got married

6. If you want to leave your husband if he cheats, that's great! Proud of you. Not going to bash you for it either way

Agreed!

I should add, I haven't seen anyone bash a person for it so I'm not speaking to that point.

@miss_understood, agreed. I got where you were trying to go with your post, but certain things could have been worded a little different. Everyone has different stances on cheating and while i personally am not okay with it, I’m all for trying to give it your all.

@littleonemorning Yes mamn. I think this applies to two parties who are willing to work on their relationship. So if both people are willing to work it out and make changes, it can definitely be successful. I should have elaborated more and touched base on people who cheat and aren't willing to change. These are dangerous relationships and it's going to take the betrayed person some kind of epiphany for them to see they deserve better

it one thing to “stay” because they are afraid. That’s not cool. They want to be miserable and let their man run around and play stupid. I think that’s where the issue stems from, most people have an issue with women who stick around with men that aren’t willing to work on a marriage.

It has to go both ways.

I'm not justifying cheating in anyway. Never said it was ok. I'm speaking on those who bash others for staying with their spouse and deciding to work it out. That is their decision. That is their relationship. Only they know what goes on inside the relationship and it's no one else's decision to tell them what they should do or judge their character because they decide to stay

Never said all men cheat. The statement "hes probably cheating right now" only goes to say it's not guaranteed your man won't cheat. But yea I agree not all relationships can be saved but if a couple trys, that's ok too.

Yes! This is so good. I love hearing stories like that and I'll never belittle someone for their own decision to work things out. There are cases where the person is just using you and it might be time to go, but at the end of the day, you're not weak or foolish no matter what you decide to do. And I'm glad you mentioned that it wouldn't work for YOU because that's ok. It doesn't work for a lot of people.

Thank you ❤ Bottom line, you won't know how you will react in most situations until it happens to you! Also, nothing in life is guaranteed. Thank you for being open minded about this topic

exactly!! And no doubt! I can’t lie, I used to be pretty closed minded on this subject where I was that person saying he don’t love you just leave, but then I was in a similar situation where I realized things aren’t always just black and white. There’s a gray area in there and that seems to be where most couples fall into .

No doubt. You can give her encouragement all day which is just you looking out for her and being honest about things she may not be able to see because she's on the inside. But I'll just say if she still decides to stay, she's probably not doing it because she's weak. Maybe she's thinking about the good things opposed to dwelling so much on the incident. Or maybe there's big history that is hard to throw away in a split second

yea if a woman decides to stay. I don’t say anything. That is her choice but I also know how to remove myself from toxic friendships. You not gone keep using my emotional labor and talking about how the man ain’t no good but still laid up with him. I will leave that friendship if it’s toxic.

@elvira8701 I actually lost a friend from this years ago. I kept getting so frustrated because she would repeatedly cry over the same guy and he continued to treat her bad. I didn't call her dumb or belittle her. I just felt horrible for watching her stay in the relationship and watch her cry. I think if the guy made some changes and really felt remorseful enough to stop making her cry, we would still be friends but I couldn't watch

@aengs2 Omg I love you lol

Aww! 😘 I love your willingness to discuss tough topics with an open mind.

@aengs2 Thank you !

Yes you can definitely say "hey Ashley what are you doing? He's not right for you" but if she STILL decides to stay even after someone from the outside pointed out that it's best to leave, then so be it. It says nothing about her character. It says nothing about how strong or weak she is. I feel like the line about he may be cheating right now struck a nerve with people because it placed some kind of fear in their hearts. Sorry for this. But that line was to mention that nothing in life is guaranteed. It would also be rude for me to say you'll probably get hit by a bus today and in fact, yes that could happen. But pointing that out is harmful and makes people uneasy so I apologize for that part

This killed me 😂 all this serious talk and then BAM zombie

@mommaofjais 😂😂😂😫😫 I was reading and put my phone down and my son pushed something and I didnt know how to delete it lol

Thank you for this testimony! This is my point. You decided to work on your relationship and its stronger than ever. And I dont want to confuse anyone. I never said all men cheat. I just put it out there that no one is exempt. I know people's feelings will be hurt because they dont want to believe their spouse is cheating but how many times have we seen instances where someone THOUGHT the relationship was wonderful and later found out their spouse cheated. Nothing in life is guaranteed

That's my point lol why are people getting offended? Here's the bottom line, if your man cheats and you want to work on it, great! It's no one else's relationship. Your not stupid, you're not weak. Other thing is, I didnt say all men cheat, I'm saying no one is exempt. Meaning there's no guarantee which is a very true statement. And the reason I added that your man may be cheating right now is because he probably is, he probably isn't! Who knows and who cares? Only you can decide what to do. This topic isn't black and white which is why it's hard for people to accept

And I like that you said "personally " I wouldn't. That works for you. My only point is that calling someone weak or stupid for staying is wrong and no one really knows what they would do until they are in that situation.

@nerdymommyplus2 Like I said, sorry for offending you. Not sure what else you want but I'm not gonna kiss your ass so 🤪

I'm not even offended 😂. I love how a few other people said the same thing but you only attack me

@nerdymommyplus2 Yes mamn because you're the only one who keeps going. I clarified what I meant...that should be it. What more do you want????

@miss_understood there are multiple comments on this post reading your post the same way I am. Which would lead one to believe the message wasn't conveyed properly

Ok, so after I explained what I meant, you're still going. If you took the time to read their comments and didnt read my responses, that's not my problem and quite frankly, you're opinion is not interesting enough for me to entertain so I'm just going to leave it right here. It seems on every post you make, you can never see the other person's side or even try to understand so it's useless to debate with you

seems to be you're the one looking for a debate with everyone on here...

Definitely. I just wish their wasn't so much judgment as and criticism around what people decide to do with their relationships

@miss_understood, it one thing to “stay” because they are afraid. That’s not cool. They want to be miserable and let their man run around and play stupid. I think that’s where the issue stems from, most people have an issue with women who stick around with men that aren’t willing to work on a marriage.

It has to go both ways.

@littleonemorning Yes mamn. I think this applies to two parties who are willing to work on their relationship. So if both people are willing to work it out and make changes, it can definitely be successful. I should have elaborated more and touched base on people who cheat and aren't willing to change. These are dangerous relationships and it's going to take the betrayed person some kind of epiphany for them to see they deserve better

agreed. I got where you were trying to go with your post, but certain things could have been worded a little different. Everyone has different stances on cheating and while i personally am not okay with it, I’m all for trying to give it your all.