Hey guys..so I..I'm in a mother and baby foster placement for an assessment and I think my carer has over taken my son's…
Hey guys..so I..I'm in a mother and baby foster placement for an assessment and I think my carer has over taken my son's feeds..I feel like it's ridiculous and it makes me feel like im abusing my son.
I'll give some info first-
My son is 6 weeks old
Weighs around 10lb
I'm 18- his mum
She's our carer- an ex midwife
She's only had 1 placement here before me and my son.
I've been here since he was 2 days old and I feel like she's very controlling. One thing being his feeds
He was breastfed but I had to switch him to formula due to some physical problems.
My carer has taken full control of his feeds..only allowing him to have 6ozs every 4-5 hours.
She calls him a greedy piggy of he only just makes 4 hours or get a hungry before it.
It's wrong for him to be on 6ozs..right? And waiting 4-5 hours..?
Today..he has been screaming non stop of hunger..he had clear signs.
She put him face down on the changing table and he put his face fully into the mat
Making his breathing sound funny and she said 'lazy pig, i know you can move your head: snorting on my mat Mr piggy piggy'
Then she picked him up as he was still screaming after 2 hours now
She made him cry himself to sleep..but I've tried talking to people of it but because she's an ex midwife..they listen to her not me as she knows best
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! #myfirstpost
Abby Rose⚘·
Its your baby you have the right to take him off her, if somebody was doing that to my daughter i would take her and tell them to fuckoff and wouldnt let them near him again....can i ask why you have her?
Shannon ··
Мама сына-младенца
Im a care leaver myself
I didn't have..family role models or a childhood
So they've placed me here to make sure I have the parenting skills needed basically because I never seen good parenting as a child..
Shannon ··
Мама сына-младенца
Also I would but..If i do then I get removed from the placement meaning my assessment is failed..which is stupid..
Just Another Spider Riding Aussie 🕷🇦🇺·
Is there someone in charge you can raise you concerns with? I'm not sure how all that works but it doesn't seem right to me. If she supposed to be teaching you parenting skills, taking over isn't going to that. I would find someone above her to talk to. Tell them your not comfortable with the methods she's using nor her calling him a pig all the time. Tell them you feel like your not learning because she's not letting you be hands on and is taking certain roles over, that might get their attention.
Shannon ··
Мама сына-младенца
I've tried non stop for almost 6weeks now xx
Georgina·
This isn’t on, your the mother not her. I understand you don’t want to stand your ground incase it backfires on you. Try and do it in a polite way. Tell her you appreciate her advice but you think he’s hungry so your gonna feed him. When she’s putting him on the mat just say kindly I don’t think he likes that. Like vix said record it all. Take the lead but in a kind way xx
Catherine·
Мама дочки (2 года), беременна (9 нед.)
Now I know the start of this will sound silly but it’s the same principle. When I had my LG we moved in with my mum because our house 100 miles away hadn’t sold yet. My mums been a children’s nurse for 35 years. She would do exactly the same. She would always try and feed Poppy, she would do all the nappy changes, the baths, I bought a perfect prep machine to make fresh bottles but I’d come down in the morning and she would have pre made all of her bottles for the day as “that’s how we always made bottles”. If I ever said anything to my mum she would say “you come to me for advice but then when I’m trying to help you become a bitch”. In the end I realised this wasn’t helping me, I wasn’t learning anything, I sat down with her one day without my LG and took the soft approach to the situation maybe that’s what you need to do? I told her I appreciated her help and support however to help me grow as a mum I need her to take a step back and give me more freedom with it. I told her I felt pushed out and at some point she wouldn’t be around all the time so I needed to know what I was doing on my own xxx
Shannon ··
Мама сына-младенца
The thing is she was only a midwife for 4 years..she's dine no actual training to be a foster carer..she's never had children..she's only had 1 placement here before me
And she doesn't control anything as bad as his feeds..calling him a greedy pig too?..there is a lot I've learnt from her..and k do appreciate it..just not..all of it