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****VERY LONG VENT- I can't stop blaming my s/o for our financial struggles. Its like doing extra to earn more money is…

****VERY LONG VENT-

I can't stop blaming my s/o for our financial struggles. Its like doing extra to earn more money is a sin to him. We live is NYC and btw rent and daycare, I literally feel sick to my stomach. We literally work to pay daycare because I cannot stay home. I earn more than he does and I usually pay the rent in full in addition to other expenses. I'm so sick of it. Sometimes I feel as though he's mad at me for having a masters degree and making more money( my roll as work is very demanding as I'm a manager) We want to buy a house ( or maybe its just me) but no savings. What is he doing about it? Nothing! I work full time and pick up the kids from daycare and he picks up our other son from school. When I get home, no dinner so I start on that. Then I'm by myself for the night because he goes to work. To add insult to injuries, he made $1000 on the side by selling some items on ebay, knowing we had to save to get a used family van. My hubby decieds to spend all the money + more to buy a new professional camera. We did not discuss this huge purchase and I didnt know about it till I asked him to lend me some money. I have never done anything like that in the 8 years we've been together even if it was my own earned money. I respected him enough to consult with him first. What he did solidified his mindset and the value he has for this family. Idk if I'm taking it too far but I just can't get over it. At the end, he did return the camera and bought a less expensive one, however too little too late.

Also, my aunt who is a pastor came to visit from out of state. She stayed at my mom's house but visited my house as well. She had to pull me aside and caution me on resting and making sure I'm physically and mentally well. She told me to find something to do on my own and leave the kids for their father so I can find myself. That tells you I do so much. He says he appricates me all the time but his actions says the opposite. I'm at a stage of isolation from friends and I keep the majority away from my family. Only my mom and aunt knows the details of my struggle. Idk what to do anymore.

Ooh he becomes spiteful when I don't give him intercourse ( trying to be modest lol). Not understaning that I am exhausted from work, kids, chef, driver, and everything eles that a mom supposed to be. If it was 50/50 maybe ill want him more but its not and I don't.

To tried to show him to see that I'm trying for the extra income, I got an on call side job the that pays very well if and when I get a case. Has he made efforts? Uber eats and all he did was download the app, not one Dilivery yet.

I'm just gonna keep it all in prayer.

I kinda have the same issue. My SO sucks at saving money, for anything, unless is for his own interest. We are also trying to buy a house in a year. He does makes more than I do, but I'm the one that manages the money. So more than half his paycheck goes into my bank account. We have separate accounts and I'm in charge of all Bills. This helps, a lot. He is an impulse buyer. It helps that he has access to his own money and doesn't touch the rest. One of the things that has help for us, I sit down with him at least once a week to see where we are at. I keep track of the money spent and will let him know if he is spending too much and where the money is going. We have a white board with our goals and is a constant reminder of what we, as a couple, need to do. I'm a pusher thou'... I will Express my concerns and feelings often and make him understand that certain expenses are not necessary.

Not sure if any of this helps but know that I understand tour frustration

04.09.20181 отметок «Нравится»Ответить

Ope NikkieМама троих детей

@cams He pays car insurance, cable and half of child care expenses which is not consistent

04.09.2018Ответить

Ope NikkieМама троих детей

@techie_grrl I actually mentioned counseling and he said " no" that I should go on my own. He only does the bare minimal and that's not enough with a 4, 2, and an 11 month old to take care off.

04.09.2018Ответить

LМама двоих (младенец)

I'd go to counseling. Sounds like you are pulling more than your fair share, and he needs an unbiased third party to tell him to get it together. I know he works overnight, but why can't he help out more during the day or before he goes to work? Surely he isn't sleeping from the time he gets home until the time he goes back to work. There are hours during his waking times that he can be doing even the bare minimum to help you out.

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Cams Мама двоих (1 год, 3 года), ждёт третьего

So does he help pay for any bills? Sounds like you could afford to survive without him. Maybe he needs to stay somewhere else and learn some responsibility. As a partner and financially.

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Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday…

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no, his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me and did something else with an other girl.... and it's 10:51 am now and he hasn't texted me at all. and after he dropped me off I texted him saying what I felt and nothing. I don't know if I'm over reacting or what or what should i do. do i wait until he text me?

Who else has financial issues within their relationship?? Or am I just lucky 🙄🙄

Who else has financial issues within their relationship?? Or am I just lucky 🙄🙄 Not sure if I'm being just mean or what. But my SO used $160 from me this morning. I gave him my bank card because he needed $60 to get material for work. His boss was going to give it back to him at the end of the day. So instead of $60 he took out $160. Which I was a little pissed. (One of the reasons I just can't let him use my card. I have to go get the money from the atm myself if I'm giving it to him) then, tonight he asked for $20 incase his boss didn't give it to him. So I gave him my card not even thinking because I had kids running around me. I asked if he could pick up a few things that were out of and told him he could use my card if he has too. And I even told him not to get the expensive brands or anything m generic is fine. So he does. But when he does he decides to go Easter shopping for the kids. (Not sure if he used to my card or not) but if he did, I'd be even more pissed. He knows I have bills to pay on top of giving my son's school money that I owe them. He goes to a private school and I haven't paid in 5 months. It's towards the end of school now so I need to pay it. He knows this month I am extremely tight because of the school, im already in debt and my credit score sucks. I have been trying not to get in more debt and actually fix my credit. I'm so frustrated. It's like we have different priorities and different ideas on this. I feel like I'm completely drowning!!

@itsamemario, you deleted your post before I could hit send but this is my comment: I don’t know if this answers your…

@itsamemario, you deleted your post before I could hit send but this is my comment: I don’t know if this answers your question but this is my answer. My son is 7 and he knows race and color. Why? Because he himself comes from a family that is multi racial and because he has already experienced racism. I also believe as his mother it’s my job to teach him color and the cold hard truth about society. He knows what’s going on in this world. I’d be hurting him if I allowed him to blindly walk outside without this information. Children of color are being targeted and killed too. It’s not just adults. I let my son know we treat everyone equally and with respect. I let him know that we love everyone for their differences. In every aspect. Color, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual preference we love everyone.

Okay ladies I need advice. My husband came home from work a few weeks ago and decided he no longer wanted to be a…

Okay ladies I need advice. My husband came home from work a few weeks ago and decided he no longer wanted to be a husband or father. He told me that the kids and I need to leave and if we dont he will no longer pay the Bill's. I am unable to work because of high risk pregnancy. My only option is to move back to ohio and stay with my parents. (We live in Kentucky now) also last weekend I was admitted to the hospital and he was home with the kids...he decided to just walk out and leave them home alone while he went to hang with friends. I'm livid and to the point where I want my children away from him and myself too. Am I wrong for moving so far away?

Creeped out! A new guy at work just tickled the back of my neck! I cringed and told him "Don't ever touch me, that…

Creeped out! A new guy at work just tickled the back of my neck! I cringed and told him "Don't ever touch me, that weirds me out!" On Monday he pulled my braid as I was grabbing parts for him, I also told him don't ever do that. Ugh. I don't feel comfortable working with him EVER! A coworker told me that when she walked past he said "what's cooking good looking". I feel he doesn't deserve to work here. I can't feel like I'm going to be harassed at work. Like who does that?? I'm so creeped out and grossed out. Ugh. What would you do in this situation? I've reported this to my manager.