I might give an unconventional opinion here because my husband is a SAHD and I work. So this is my opinion and it's just an opinion.

1. I believe the majority of the housework should be your responsibility. Do you need to keep the house at 100% 24/7? Absolutely not. We all have off days. But at the very least everything should be in decent shape when he gets home. That being said, if there's something you HATE doing or aren't good at, he should pick up that slack. For example, my husband sucks at doing laundry (or maybe pretends to lol) so I do the laundry on my day off.

2. He should share his money with you. I think it does depend on what it's for however. If he's paying all the bills and providing you with all you need technically he is sharing his money. Let's say you want to get your nails done, should he pay for that? My opinion, it depends. Can you he comfortably afford it? Does he buy things for himself? You should be treated as an equal. So if he's going out with the guys once a week, you should be able to go out if you choose as well.

3. I've always said when I get home from work my husband's responsibilities with our daughter don't stop. But at that time, we share the caretaking. Why? Because he worked all day taking care of her and I worked my job all day. It's not fair for me to come home and tag him out meanwhile I need to continue "working". We share the responsibilities until she goes down to sleep. Once she's in bed idc what he does that's his time and my time. Sometimes we spend it together and sometimes we go to our own spots and relax.

@angelinao, I’m gonna have to cause it’s really getting kind of annoying that he won’t ever just let me get something that I want to get (even though it’s never expensive)

@mhbb3, that’s about how long we’ve been together/lived together he’s always paid way more bills (I’ve never really made enough to help out much with bill I just kept up with the stuff needed for the house and such) he’s never really tried to make me get a job but always been stingy with his money m! I agree that having your own income is better! Being dependent on each other wasn’t really an issue until recently 🙄 and yes girl! Make sure he’s giving you an extra hand with the house AND the baby!

@emily526, we can afford it he just likes to keep his money. Unless it’s something he wants to buy. I have his ATM card but have never used it unless he has asked me to get the money out to pay a bill or something. I’m very responsible with money because I grew up not having a lot of it but that’s where we butt heads a lot. He grew up the same and decided that money was soooo important (I know it actually is) and I grew up making the most out of the little bit we had. I guess we just don’t really agree on money. Like I don’t want complete free range with his bank account but I also don’t wanna have to ask to get $10-20 every once in a blue moon like I just want to be able to say “I’m going out for a little bit I’m gonna get a bit of money out to eat on” or whatever and it not be a big deal lol

@caseyann19, eehhh that’s sad. Understandable that you want to buy your daughter something cute etc. not only necessities. Talk to him.

It's been rough for us. Been together four years lived together three. He's always paid more bills but I paid rent and my own personal bills with steady work. This is our first child but I've always done all the cooking and cleaning.
Recently, he talked mad crap about me not having a job. Today I got a job. I've been looking for months but God opened up this door at the right time!
Tbh I have a lot of resentment for him right now. He pretty much said that I wasn't worth anything because I didn't have a job. Imo it's ALWAYS better to have an income of your own and be as self sufficient as possible. I feel like it will be the same even if we get married. I'm going back to school and so happy to work again. For us one being dependent on the other doesn't work.
When this baby is born I feel like I'll do the majority of the work. It just seems to be the way it goes but I'm not going to stop working or going to school and I'm going to request a lot of help with the house.

@angelinao, I do but then I feel guilty for some reason and if he doesn’t see it as a “necessity” he doesn’t want me to get it out like diapers wipes milk and stuff like that is fine but like $20 to go to Walmart and get our daughter some stuff or something he always wants me to wait until payday but then we never go and if we do I get a speech and “blowing through his money”

@caseyann19 Totally agree! With the money situation, you definitely do deserve to be able to have your own money every so often (as long as you guys can afford it). My husband doesn't have access to my bank accounts, but I work in finance so I'm very protective over my money because I've seen people lose everything to their SO's. When my husband needs/wants something he knows all he has to do is ask and 9 out of 10 times I say sure. But my husband's also not super responsible with money so this situation works for us. I can't imagine the things he'd buy if he had access to my accounts 😂.

I honestly don’t ask him to help around because he’s tired enough at work but if he wants to help it’s always appropriated.

@caseyann19, just ask him for money 🤷‍♀️

@lifewithlynnieandwill88, I do the house work minus the dishes which is perfectly fine because I just like to do it myself and he helps with our daughter a lot more now than he did a couple of months ago it’s just the money thing that we’re still working up to 🤣

@britt., the first and third questions were really just to see what others thought because we had that situation up until a couple of months ago and but we do pretty good on them now. Our only real issue is the money thing 😫

@mrschanandlerbong95, yesss! I agree on all of them! The only real issue we have is the money thing. I guess I just don’t really see it as mine and he’s kind of “stingy” with money so it’s one of those battles I haven’t decided to pick yet lol

@angelinao, that’s what I’m saying!!! Like I know technically he worked for it but mannnn I work too🤣 we’ve semi talked about it but not really sat down and had the conversation. I don’t really know how to even address it honestly.
I do most of the house work but he pitches in where I need him too like he does the dishes because I HATE doing them but I pretty much handle the rest because I just like cleaning and organizing my way I guess lol

@emily526, I agree that the majority of the house work should be my duty since he does work and provide our home for us and thankfully he helps with some house work too when I need it (he does the dishes cause I HATE dishes 🤣)
The money thing is mainly our issue and partly because I don’t really know how to address it I guess but I feel like I deserve a good $20 every so often to at least pay for my own food when I go out or something lol
And I also agree that just because he’s home means that I can clock out and out all the parenting in him. I understand that he’s tired and stressed and needs some time to wind down or do whatever else he may need to do. Luckily though he usually gives me at least a good 5-10 mins of “me time” when he gets home cause she’s so excited to see him and he knows I could use it 🤣

@fakoffyeh, he helps out now. We used to have an issue with it but I guess he got tired of me fussing about it all the time lol. He’s very picky with his money and likes to save it which I understand but sometimes it’d be nice to get a little out when I go out with friends or my mom so I can at least pay for my own food and such. And thankfully he helps with our daughter now too

@tatsandcats, the only issue we really have is the money things. I feel weird about it because he does work for it and I just feel weird claiming it as “mine” too I guess because I’ve never really been in this type of relationship or situation. As far as house work and our daughter we don’t have an issue anymore he pitches in quite a bit thank goodness 🤣

@gothamsmama, we’ve talked about it and over time he’s became very good at helping me out a little bit with some house work that I have trouble keeping up with and pitching in with our daughter! I was just curious for other people’s opinions on the subjects really lol

@landloglillexliv, I do consider that sufficient help because I know he has a hard job and is tired when he gets home so even just loading the washer for me or something like that makes me happy. I was just curious to see other people’s opinions on the subjects lol

I do the housework, dishes, laundry etc. He takes out the trash and cooks occassionally. His money is also my money, no questions asked, even when we were just engaged. He helps with the kids when he gets off work, so I can bathe, clean up etc.

There's really no answer for this, in my opinion. That's all up to you and your partner. What do you want your relationship to be like? I'm married now... But before we were married, we lived together and shared a bank account. I did not work, but he did. I did all of the housework, with no help. (Like NONE. Zip, zero, zilch.🙄😂) But I spent money how and when I wanted, while remaining on our budget. I didn't need to ask for any because we shared accounts. Now that I'm married, and we have two kids... Not much has changed. Except now I take care of the kids. I also take care of them 24/7. My husband basically just does the playing and fun stuff with the kids... Or if I say, "hold him for a minute". But that's about it.😅
I think you should have this conversation with your partner, and that will make things easier.

1. The housework shouldn’t be solely your duty. You’re not the only person living there. I’m a sahm. I do 90% of the housework, but I do expect my husband to clean up after himself and help out on the days he doesn’t work.

But when we only had one child, the housework was super easy. Now that we have 2 toddlers and I’m 33 weeks pregnant with twins, my body simply can’t handle being on my feet all day without me being in severe pain for the next two days.

2. Married or not, if you’re sharing everything else, you should share the money too. After all, you’re the one at home all day taking care of the house and baby. Just because your job isn’t bringing in money, doesn’t mean you aren’t working.

3. No matter what he does all day, he’s still a parent. If he needs an hour or so to shower and let go of the stress of the day, that’s fine, but then he gets to be a dad and husband/partner.

If youre home with baby and you don’t work, where else you’re going to get money from for your needs ? Did you talk to him ?
About the housework its your choice. I do all the housework by myself and its my choice. Since I’m home and his at work till late but he does helps once in a while.

I might give an unconventional opinion here because my husband is a SAHD and I work. So this is my opinion and it's just an opinion.

1. I believe the majority of the housework should be your responsibility. Do you need to keep the house at 100% 24/7? Absolutely not. We all have off days. But at the very least everything should be in decent shape when he gets home. That being said, if there's something you HATE doing or aren't good at, he should pick up that slack. For example, my husband sucks at doing laundry (or maybe pretends to lol) so I do the laundry on my day off.

2. He should share his money with you. I think it does depend on what it's for however. If he's paying all the bills and providing you with all you need technically he is sharing his money. Let's say you want to get your nails done, should he pay for that? My opinion, it depends. Can you he comfortably afford it? Does he buy things for himself? You should be treated as an equal. So if he's going out with the guys once a week, you should be able to go out if you choose as well.

3. I've always said when I get home from work my husband's responsibilities with our daughter don't stop. But at that time, we share the caretaking. Why? Because he worked all day taking care of her and I worked my job all day. It's not fair for me to come home and tag him out meanwhile I need to continue "working". We share the responsibilities until she goes down to sleep. Once she's in bed idc what he does that's his time and my time. Sometimes we spend it together and sometimes we go to our own spots and relax.

We are engaged now but even before that he put me on his account, he corrects me everytime I say “his money” he tells me it’s ours. He still helps with our daughter. Though I do most of the cleaning. If I ask he helps though.

I'd just get married. That would eliminate a lot of said confusion, to me. The 2 of u may see it different. All that stuff is really no one else's business. It's just a matter of what the 2 of u are comfortable with. As far as my own, I say we do what we have time to do in between caring for and playing with our son. Like if I'm taking care of our kid because he is clinging to me and dishes are pilled up, I get pissed if my hubby is just playing with his phone or watching a movie.

No, no and no. Although if he takes care of the yard and helps with laundry and dishes, I would consider that sufficient help around the house for the most part.

1) no
2) no
3) no