@angelinao, I’m gonna have to cause it’s really getting kind of annoying that he won’t ever just let me get something that I want to get (even though it’s never expensive)

@mhbb3, that’s about how long we’ve been together/lived together he’s always paid way more bills (I’ve never really made enough to help out much with bill I just kept up with the stuff needed for the house and such) he’s never really tried to make me get a job but always been stingy with his money m! I agree that having your own income is better! Being dependent on each other wasn’t really an issue until recently 🙄 and yes girl! Make sure he’s giving you an extra hand with the house AND the baby!

@emily526, we can afford it he just likes to keep his money. Unless it’s something he wants to buy. I have his ATM card but have never used it unless he has asked me to get the money out to pay a bill or something. I’m very responsible with money because I grew up not having a lot of it but that’s where we butt heads a lot. He grew up the same and decided that money was soooo important (I know it actually is) and I grew up making the most out of the little bit we had. I guess we just don’t really agree on money. Like I don’t want complete free range with his bank account but I also don’t wanna have to ask to get $10-20 every once in a blue moon like I just want to be able to say “I’m going out for a little bit I’m gonna get a bit of money out to eat on” or whatever and it not be a big deal lol

@caseyann19, eehhh that’s sad. Understandable that you want to buy your daughter something cute etc. not only necessities. Talk to him.

It's been rough for us. Been together four years lived together three. He's always paid more bills but I paid rent and my own personal bills with steady work. This is our first child but I've always done all the cooking and cleaning.
Recently, he talked mad crap about me not having a job. Today I got a job. I've been looking for months but God opened up this door at the right time!
Tbh I have a lot of resentment for him right now. He pretty much said that I wasn't worth anything because I didn't have a job. Imo it's ALWAYS better to have an income of your own and be as self sufficient as possible. I feel like it will be the same even if we get married. I'm going back to school and so happy to work again. For us one being dependent on the other doesn't work.
When this baby is born I feel like I'll do the majority of the work. It just seems to be the way it goes but I'm not going to stop working or going to school and I'm going to request a lot of help with the house.

@angelinao, I do but then I feel guilty for some reason and if he doesn’t see it as a “necessity” he doesn’t want me to get it out like diapers wipes milk and stuff like that is fine but like $20 to go to Walmart and get our daughter some stuff or something he always wants me to wait until payday but then we never go and if we do I get a speech and “blowing through his money”

@caseyann19 Totally agree! With the money situation, you definitely do deserve to be able to have your own money every so often (as long as you guys can afford it). My husband doesn't have access to my bank accounts, but I work in finance so I'm very protective over my money because I've seen people lose everything to their SO's. When my husband needs/wants something he knows all he has to do is ask and 9 out of 10 times I say sure. But my husband's also not super responsible with money so this situation works for us. I can't imagine the things he'd buy if he had access to my accounts 😂.

I honestly don’t ask him to help around because he’s tired enough at work but if he wants to help it’s always appropriated.

@caseyann19, just ask him for money 🤷‍♀️

@lifewithlynnieandwill88, I do the house work minus the dishes which is perfectly fine because I just like to do it myself and he helps with our daughter a lot more now than he did a couple of months ago it’s just the money thing that we’re still working up to 🤣

@britt., the first and third questions were really just to see what others thought because we had that situation up until a couple of months ago and but we do pretty good on them now. Our only real issue is the money thing 😫

@mrschanandlerbong95, yesss! I agree on all of them! The only real issue we have is the money thing. I guess I just don’t really see it as mine and he’s kind of “stingy” with money so it’s one of those battles I haven’t decided to pick yet lol

@angelinao, that’s what I’m saying!!! Like I know technically he worked for it but mannnn I work too🤣 we’ve semi talked about it but not really sat down and had the conversation. I don’t really know how to even address it honestly.
I do most of the house work but he pitches in where I need him too like he does the dishes because I HATE doing them but I pretty much handle the rest because I just like cleaning and organizing my way I guess lol

@emily526, I agree that the majority of the house work should be my duty since he does work and provide our home for us and thankfully he helps with some house work too when I need it (he does the dishes cause I HATE dishes 🤣)
The money thing is mainly our issue and partly because I don’t really know how to address it I guess but I feel like I deserve a good $20 every so often to at least pay for my own food when I go out or something lol
And I also agree that just because he’s home means that I can clock out and out all the parenting in him. I understand that he’s tired and stressed and needs some time to wind down or do whatever else he may need to do. Luckily though he usually gives me at least a good 5-10 mins of “me time” when he gets home cause she’s so excited to see him and he knows I could use it 🤣

@fakoffyeh, he helps out now. We used to have an issue with it but I guess he got tired of me fussing about it all the time lol. He’s very picky with his money and likes to save it which I understand but sometimes it’d be nice to get a little out when I go out with friends or my mom so I can at least pay for my own food and such. And thankfully he helps with our daughter now too