Double posting but the DH situation is kind of long… I told myself I would never post about this but things change. As most of you know DH adopted my daughter that's The only daddy she's ever known. And we have ds. Well he has an older son. 12 years old to be exact. So this happened way before I was in a picture. Decisions were made way before I came along. So it was never my place to say anything about how it was handled. Dh has never been able to see him. His ex made it clear she didn't want Dh involved. here's the backstory Dh and her lived together engaged when she was six months pregnant she told him she had been cheating on him and thought the baby was the other guys. And kick DH out.and would never answer calls or anything. DH found out though friends when the baby was born went and requested a DNA test. Came back its Dh. She wasn't trilled. Dh started paying child support and still does to this day. But any attempt he made to see the child or be involved she shut down immediately return gifts wouldn't answer calls or messages. After a while DH gave up because he don't know what to do and his parents were no help. He was 22 so couldn't really afford to fight for visitation. So he stopped trying Long before we met. When I found out about his son it was honestly a sore subject. We agreed for the sake of our marriage/relationship I wouldn't push him on it anymore. He reached out to her after one of our first conversation about it through Facebook she read the message and blocked him. Well the other night Dh came in the room crying. My husband doesn't cry. I asked him what was wrong he handed me his phone Facebook suggested his son as a friend..this broke my husband. He doesn't even know if his son knows that he's his real dad. He feels as if to much time is past he doesn't want to destroy his sons world by showing up. That's his words not mine. I don't know what to do because I felt like he should try for something but he's too scared to do anything. I know I can't make things better for anyone but I wish I could. I know people will probably have mean things to say. I will be the 1st say he should've never gave up but I also understand the woman holds a lot more cards than the father if you don't have the money to fight.I will never understand how it doesn't cost you anything to get child support (which I don't disagree with) but it cost to get visitation. I think you should be able to fight for both at no cost. I understand where my husband is coming from too much time is past but I also wish he would change his mind. He scared his son will hate him. I offered to reach out to her myselfand he doesn't want me to. He doesn't want me to get blocked as well because I can at least see pictures she post of him occasionally. It just hurts to see my husband like this he's been so depressed.I honestly don't know what's the point of this post is… But please remember not all absent dads choose to be. If your child's father is trying to be in your babies life please let them. (as long as they're safe of course)