Okay mommies I’m in a dilemma.. I kind of want to find a part time job but my SO isn’t really fond of the idea because…

I'm sensing that the money he makes is considered his money right?

I would sit down and figure a percentage of your check he expects you to for bills and what you would have to spend on childcare. And then you can figure If it would be worth it! If your crafty you could make and sell things on FB or Etsy!

In my opinion, the money is “ours” not mine and his. If he expects you to live off nothing he’s being ridiculous. He needs to grow up and realize having a family isn’t free. Groceries are a necessity, not a luxury.

He sounds selfish to me . I dont work either but once i start my bf will be paying all the bills and what i recieve from my job will be for "US" for stuff that we both need & want .

I found my husband a part time job from 5pm-10pm at UPS. I will work earlier and get out earlier so that he can make it there for 5pm (he also doesn't have a car, so he will be taking mine). He will continue to watch our daughter while I work and then I'll take over when I get home. I won't expect him to pay bills with such little income. But rather use that money on "us" just like @hazelmaplewood said.

I'm at stay at home mom as well. I used to have this same problem but I made him say that what he won't do someone else will. This partly worked because he's jealous. And I also would tell him to buy things that we needed that I could have easily gotten if I had money. And that also made him see that it was vital for me to have money

And also I would guilt trip him because he would want me to go somewhere with him and I would tell him like I don't have anything to wear my hair isn't done so I can't go. That would work cause who wants to go somewhere with someone who doesn't look good

@fuhgeddaboudit, I’d love to work from home so I think I’ll try that first and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll resort to working out childcare and finding a different job

@newlyironman, yeah pretty much. “He works and pays the bills and so that I don’t have to” but in the end I literally don’t have any money What so ever. If I go out with my mom or anything she always has to pay for me and same for my friends that I go out with. I don’t ask for much. It would be nice to pay for mine and my daughters food though when we go out without him and such.

@masseymomma16, I’m crafty but I literally don’t have the money to buy the supplies I’d need to make the items 😔

@sarahbethk, that’s how I am. When I used to babysit and have a little bit of money I would pay for his tobacco if he was out and didn’t have any cash on him and I’d buy a couple of groceries and things for the house that we needed and such just because I didn’t see it as “my money” to just blow on whatever I wanted

@hazelmaplewood, he’s very selfish with his money. I mentioned the grocery list I made a couple of weeks ago and don’t get me wrong it was a long list because we literally had no food in the house and he complained saying “you just love to blow all my money don’t you” so I threw away the list and we’ve ate out since other than 1 night that I got him to buy enough groceries for me to make a good home cooked meal. He’s okay with sending it on things he likes though. He bought a motorcycle with “HIS” income tax and a $10 necklace just a week or two ago. Which I know $10 isn’t a large amount but I can’t even get him to buy that amount of clothes for our daughter because every time I mention it I hear about the budget we’re on and how he took a pay cut and doesn’t make as much now or how he didn’t get paid that week 🙄

@emily526, he has never taken care of our daughter by himself other than while I’ve took a shower or something like that so any job I get I’ll have to have someone to watch her while I work which would have to be the day shift

@qwiona, he’s not jealous though and guilt doesn’t work on him. He’s never paid to have my hair or nails done other than a $7 thinning I got a couple months ago and Im even okay with him not doing that it just bugs m that he doesn’t buy things for our daughter most of the things she has our parents have bought her or they’ve been gave to us for her.

@caseyann19 He doesn't watch her at all?! Ok, I'd pull my hair out so serious props to you for doing it all and still wanting to do more!

@emily526, it’s getting crazy like yesterday we were at my family’s doing some fun stuff and she was being so wild and all of my family was pitching in to help because they could see my struggle and every time I’d ask him to do something he’d either say “you’re lazy” or “why can’t you do it” or some BS like that. He always does that though so I don’t even pay attention anymore. And lord forbid me mention the fact that I do it literally 24/7 because then I get to hear the whole “well I work all week and you just sit around”

@caseyann19 well does he have an ego at least? Cause if you tell him he's not being a real father that might help and tell everyone not to give you anything else. That's still his daughter so he should be doing things for her. But if it's really that big of an issue, tell him don't worry about it, you can get a court to make him pay for the things he should

@caseyann19 being a parent is a full time job. You should leave the house one day and leave her there with him and let him figure out exactly what it takes

@caseyann19 See I can so relate to your husband because I used to treat my husband that way. I'd come home and act like he wasn't "allowed" to be tired because I worked all week and he just watched our daughter. It wasn't until he sat me down and we had a conversation about it that I actually realized how hard it is for him and began pitching in.

Wow. Red flags everywhere. His money? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 maybe you should charge him to watch your daughter since he doesn’t want you to work. I would do some babysitting and not pitch in for shit. My husband and I both work and our money is in one account. We have a saving account with enough money to survive for 6 months in the even one of uses looses our job. We have a saving account for the baby. And we have our checking account. All our bills get paid from that same account. But I transfer money out to my account when I go grocery shopping or for food while I’m working (assuming I don’t pack lunch). He sounds like he’s a child and like he has a lot of growing up to do. I honestly wouldn’t stay with someone who treats me like that(yes I know things could be way worse but it starts like this). That’s controlling behavior, like come on who in their right mind bitches about buying groceries and prefers to eat out?

Dude he sounds like a POS. He’s starving you out so you can’t leave