Children are not weapons...

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I agree with u. But at the same time usually when parents split someone usually ends up bitter and it takes awhile to build a relationship to be able to Co parent together and understand exactly what u r saying. I left my daughter's father he was cheating on me ( actually had video proof on his phone idiot) anyway he didn't have anything to do with my daughter for almost 2 yrs bc he couldn't understand why I kicked him out. I tried my best to get him to have anything to do with her. He would see her like 1 every 3 months for like 2 hrs. But ever since my husband has been in the picture we have a great relationship. He sees her every other weekend and it works out for everyone.

My parents did this to us when they were separated. They tried to get us to choose and dislike the other parent. Even though they never said the words, everything they said seemed to us like the other parent didn't love us. Even though my parents reconciled and we have forgiven all wrong doing, it did affect me as a child and teen.

My MIL did the same thing with my husband and his brother during their divorce and my husband hasn't spoken to his dad in 20 years.

We made a vow we would NEVER do this to our children in the event we ever split up.

Its hard for myself and my ex to be civil currently right now but I would never keep our kids from him.

Same with his family.. Even if he wasn't around and sometimes his mother and myself clash. I would simply drop the kids with their aunt so she could take them to family events.

Just because I don't get along with someone doesn't mean they can't see my kids as long as they treat my children like gold.

I agree, it's up to the adults to make it all work out and find a way to get along. This applies to extended family and new relationships as well. I see that a lot too, just because you hate your ex's mother doesn't mean your kids won't love her, same with the ex's new spouse etc. The circles of relationships keep getting bigger and we may as well accept it and take the opportunity to become a stronger society.

Nellie

Def true. Very hard to seperate emotions from things sometimes, but very necessary

Very true

My parents used to do that a lot.

My sister and her ex as well the kids still ask questions.

I despise and wanna kill parents who do that!

I second that, please tell my SO's son's mother.

PLEASE tell my so's older child's mother this! ??

Brilliant!

Exactly. So sick of seeing women who think they are doing their ex some big favor and deserve a pat on the back by letting their kids visit every other weekend. So selfish.

Agree... even though me an my ex are no longer together we are still trying to be civil for the baby's sake. .. it's all about acting like an adult

Amen!

I wish my parents understood this, particularly my mom. They divorced like...25 years ago...and she still gives me horrible guilt trips about how she'll "never forgive me" and how I "must not love her" if I spend anytime with my dad or can't agree to her extremely last minute plans because I have something already scheduled with him. It's ridiculous. I'm 33. I know better than to take that crap now.

She left HIM because she says she wasn't happy anymore. He was devastated but eventually moved on and got remarried, which she holds against him. She rushed into a marriage afterwards with some drug addict she knew for like 2 months afterwards, which of course, didn't work out. She then tried to keep me away from my dad as punishment and would tell me horrible stories about how he was going to have the police pick me up at school, and drag me away in a police car in front of all my friends, to send me away to him. All because he wanted joint custody. ?

No parent should ever use their kids as pawns. It's just messed up.

Yes yes yes!

Thank you.

Well said. ???