Debbie DeSantos
dgonzalez0912
Debbie DeSantos

I need advise

I'll try to keep this short. My sister is 36 years old and her husband has a vasectomy. For a year or two they have discussed getting it reversed and doing IVF. They have put that on hold for the time being due to certain circumstances. Right now, it looks like they won't be ready for IVF until she's 39 years old. She has said many times that they probably won't have any more children. I now want to give my daughter the middle name of my mother, which she has said before that she wanted to name her daughter. Of course my mom got excited and loved the name I chose, but my sister got really upset and called me "a s*** ty person". Should I not name my child after my mother because my sister has expressed how much she likes that name even though she already has a daughter and did not use that name AND she is unsure as to her future with more children? HELP!

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So the chances of her having a girl baby sound slim but would it be so wrong for 2 cousins to have the same middle name? I would use the name and tell her that it's ok to use that middle name too......I have a cousin with my first name as her middle. It's never been strange for us.

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Girl bye name your baby after your mama.

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I would use it my mother's middle name is my great mothers and my great grandmother passed away right before I had my first daughter and I my daughter's middle name is my great grandmothers it is just a middle name I don't see anything wrong with both of you using the name if she did have a little girl.

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This is stupid. Name your baby what you want. IF she decides to have another baby, she may not even end up with a girl. And to be totally honest, you aren't a bad person because you want to name you DD after your mom. I have a set of cousins. They're brothers. One is named Justin Dean, and the other is named Dean Charles. If they can live in the same house and share the same name, then your sister won't die if your kids end up sharing names.

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There is nothing wrong with cousins sharing a middle name! Ignore her and she will get over it. My niece and my daughter have the same middle name after a cousin that passed away. I did it first and couldn't care less that she used it too. Why can't we both honor an amazing woman??

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If you used it as a middle name, why couldn't she use it either as a middle or a first name?

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I'd use it, it's just a middle name anyway. I agree with pp, I think your sister is probably upset about not being able to have a baby right now and that emotion is overflowing into everything else.

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It seems like it's fair game. It's not a name she pulled out of thin air, it's the name of both of yours mom. I would go for it & hope she got over it

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dgonzalez0912

Thank you for responses, ladies! I feel better about using it now. She has wanted another child for a long time now. I'm sure she wishes she was pregnant right now, and to know that I'm using the name she has always wanted is upsetting her. She text "I guess everyone has given up hope that I will have another child". We haven't given up hope but her husband does have a vasectomy and they have other priorities right now. And like the previous person said, even if they do have kids in the future, who is to say that it will be a girl? She's just being crazy right now and I hope she gets over it soon. She was supposed to be the godmother, but with this behavior, I am unsure.

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I'd use it she already had her chance...and it's not like it's the first name and ppl will be calling the baby that I know families that use a certain middle name because it's family name and lots of a certain gender share the same middle name

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I feel like if she already has a daughter why didn't she use it before?? Not to be mean but she had her chance she should be glad you want to honor your mom as well and let you use the name without any grief from her

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I would use it Hun!

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I agree with pps. I used my grandfather's name as my son's middle name. My sister loves his name also and so we discussed it. She said it was fine with her if I used it because she didn't know if she would have kids or ever have a boy. I told her I would be fine with her using it too for a first or middle name if she did have a boy someday. Everyone was cool about it... my sister ended up having a girl and doesn't want anymore kids so she was wise not cause a big stink over nothing.

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Its just the middle name! I'd use it .... I think its kinda crazy she's getting upset to be honest....

Could there be underlying issues about her not being able to have a baby rite now and that's what she's upset??

Its not like its just a name she liked its both of yours mom! You have every right to the name just as much as she does...

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dgonzalez0912

That is exactly my logic. Thank you. Great advice. I don't want her to be upset with me, but it's not some random name. It's our moms name. If I don't use it, and she ends up not having another girl, we would have all missed out.

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I'd just use the name, personally. Even if your sister does end up conveiving more children, it doesn't ganruntee that she have a girl and get a chance to use it. And honestly if she already has a daughter and disnt use it before then it seems that she is indecisive on using the name.

Name your baby something that you'll love

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