Shauna
shauna_8529
Shauna·Мама двоих (младенец)

Is anyone else’s

Is anyone else’s SO not really helping with baby? My lo is 3 weeks old, and my SO barely helps. Lo is breastfed but trying to introduce her to bottle, EBF is not really working out for me. I cry every day. My SO still gets to do whatever he wants, sleeps all night, where as I have to nurse lo and change her diapers. I’m just feeling emotional about it. I guess I feel like I could be a single mom, because he’s no help (we have had issues for a while).

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My Ex never helped with the kids (other than to stay home when they were sleeping so I could go get groceries by myself..) . I didn’t mind it too much cuz I’ve always wanted to be a mom and I find the baby stuff comes fairly easily to me.. Now I am a single mom and it was a pretty easy transition because almost nothing changed. Obviously we had relationship issues too. That was just my experience, not saying that it’s normal or that it should be that way. Hope you guys get it figured out!

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It depends on the situation I feel like now I'm home I can wake up and take care of the baby all night because my husband goes to work early in the morning I let him sleep but during the day or on the weekends yes I do ask for help or my husband jumps in and helps but it depends on your personal situation.

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My SO wasn't sure in exactly what he needed to do because he knows I'm pretty independent. But if LO wakes up in the middle of the night, I'll ask him for help with comforting him during diaper changes, or ask him to make a bottle, etc. He's a heavy sleeper but we take turns with baby at night. I'd say just ask for help or tell him what he could do to help you out.

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You need to tell him how he can help....if you woke up in the middle of the night with baby to change diaper and have her ready to be fed that would help. Maybe he could cook dinners so you can focus on baby, at the end of the day tell him he can take a turn so you can get a shower or a bath to yourself. If he can’t do those things to help then you may as well be a single mother. If you direct him how to help and he refuses I wouldn’t stand for it. My husbands been working 13-15 hour days, then cooking dinner and on weekends taking our 2 older kids so I can sleep in with the baby, at the end of the day he takes her so I can shower and that little 30 minutes alone is exactly what I need to keep my sanity. I wouldn’t stand for no help though. But you have to keep open communication because a lot of times when you exclusively breastfeed the man can feel helpless/useless and may not know how to help.

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Yeah feeling the same way but I said something to my bf about it. I keep telling him if I knew I was going to be a single mother I could just move back to Ohio and be fine on my own and that I don't need a man to make sure my kids are taken care of. I finally think I got through that thick skull of his because in the last few days he has been helping more but I mostly exclusively pump. However I have been breastfeeding in the mornings. Sometimes you just have to tell them. He actually gave him a bath this morning too.

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Your first baby? The man probably feels like he doesn’t know how to help. My husband was clueless the first time around. Now by the 4th he knows exactly what to do and has much more patience.

Give him direct orders.. he could take baby after a feeding and walk her to sleep, get him bonding with baby and it will come more naturally.

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Yep same here. My husband has a real short fuse and gets frustrated easily when the baby his crying and he can't calm him down. I stay home while he just leaves whenever then comes home and doesn't offer to do anything and then acts put out when I want him to feed our son a bottle. He says he'll help I just need to ask whereas I feel he should offer. It's frustrating to say the least ?

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leahbeth
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