FIL's girlfriend. Would you consider her to be your child's grandmother? I've only had a handful of people in dh's…

If they aren't married, she isn't the grandmother.

It would depend on how long she has been around. I would not consider my sisters boyfriend my daughter's uncle unless he has been around for many years before my daughter was even born or a long time after she was born.

But I still have to consider my step mil my child's grandma no matter how much of a batch she is ? she's actually married to my fil

My mother outlaw's partner is my son's Popsie. His actual grandfather on my OH's side is dead to us and I would never consider him a grandad even though he's blood.

I don't believe that blood automatically grants you to be family, and I do believe you can earn the right to be family. But that's me.

I think it's your choice. You clearly don't like her, nor really want her to feature strongly in your child's life so I say she's not!

I wouldnt consider her the grandma or anything and ifnu dont want here there at the hosptial talk to your nursing staff they will make sure shes not allowed there they will come up with a reason sonyour not the bad person. I did a clinical rotation on a L&D floor and i saw nurses do that all the time so that the koms would stay calm and have the births they wanted

I absolutely adore my MIL. One reason I don't like FIL's girlfriend is she convinced him to stop paying for SIL's college and also dh so that he could pay for her kids instead. So now SIL has had to take out multiple loans to pay for school on top of working full time. I really don't like her at all. She really is an evil woman.

I just know if I try to keep her out of the room everybody is going to try to say I'm rude and that I need to let her in. Except for dh and MIL of course. He has two half brothers from FIL (they're twins) and they all spend time together. So she's with their kids all the time and I believe they call her grandma so that's why I was asking.

Where are you that you're expected to have certain people in the room with you while you give birth? ~shudder~ couldn't think of anything worse than someone being there I didn't like, and furthermore that didn't respect me!!! Argh.

Tell her only blood allowed...?

No they want to come in as soon as my son is born, like no hour bonding time, no skin to skin time. They just want to come in and take pictures of him and hold him. It seriously irritates me, dh and I don't want anyone to know when I'm going into labor but they keep texting saying not to forget to tell them as soon as I go into labor so they can rush to the hospital. But I'm just thinking what is the rush for? They aren't giving birth so there's no reason. They act like they can't wait a couple hours. I know they are excited but this is my first baby and I don't want him passed around like a hot potato!

Express your wishes to the nursing staff and your dh and all u need time as does ur hubs to bond before anyone else comes around. The nurses and doctors know this and will help make everything smooth and keep and calm and healtjy environment for you all

You are the mom and it's your body/baby so stand up to them. Firmly. It does not matter who gets mad, it's a very special day and do not let anyone ruin it for you! Make it exactly how you want it. Just speak up and make sure your nurses know to keep them out!!

Thank you ladies, this has been weighing heavy on me lately since I'm almost 37 weeks now. I feel like I'm just going to give birth and have him ripped out of my arms. I'll be letting the nursing staff know and hopefully dh's side won't put up a big fight lol.

Pp I'm going to look into if they have to have the bracelets to be in the room!

My dads gf I do not class as anything as she doesn't bother with my children! She isn't even welcome in my house! My kids call her grandad robs girlfriend cause they don't know her name! X

If i had told her many times stop touching my belly and she'd keep coming i'd throw her hand away and say loudly "look lady, back off!!! How many times do i need to politely tell you i don't like people touching my belly"

That should shut her up....

I work for a hospital, & at our hospital in order to get into the mother/baby or labor/delivery floor, the family/friends have to have a special code that you tell them. So, ask your hospital if they have something in place like that. Just tell the nurses no visitors & I'm sure they have some sort of system in place. There are laws for it too. They have situations like this frequently.

Also, my FIL has a girlfriend but we've never even met her but we will probably never refer to her as grandma; I don't think it'll ever matter how long they're together out of respect for my mil and due to the situation.

Just don't tell anyone that you're in labour, it's your time, no one else needs to know. Me and dh didn't tell anyone until my daughter was 6 hours old.

My father has been with his girlfriend for 10 years. They have 3 kids together and I still do not consider her my children's grandmother.

Nope! Not the grandma!

Maybe you should just tell her that the nurse will come out and tell everyone when you're ready for visitors.

I am very close with my FIL's girlfriend, she's a lot younger than my FIL and not old enough to be a grandma so I don't think my child will be calling her grandma but she will definitely be a big part of my child's life. That being said, your situation is completely different than mine. If I didn't get along with her and she was rude to me I would not want her to be a big part of my child's life. I think you have every right to feel the way you do.

We kind of have a similar situation except it is my step fil, him and mil are split up right now but he is trying to come back he has been gone for about 2 years now. I refuse to go over there when he is there. He has never met my DS and apparently keeps asking my mil why we don't come around, why hasn't he met the baby isn't he his grandpa. Etc, apparently mil is telling him yes he is his grandpa and that he needs to take it up with us as to why we won't come around and why he doesn't get to meet my DS. I refuse to have my child around a mentally abusive angry alcoholic. I have also told her that he is not his grandpa and his family is to not have any pictures of my son. If she wants him in her life that's fine the abuse will just continue after he comes back, but I refuse to put my son and his future siblings anywhere near him. Idk why she won't just tell him the truth as she knows it, but I guess she's to busy in lala land. My fil is also remarried, but we call his wife by her name and I'm guessing DS and his siblings will to. We never call her grandma or any other grandma like names.

It sounds like your fils girlfriend is in lala land to. I would defiantly tell the nurses and your doctor that you don't want them anywhere near you while you are there, and they will tell them to leave, and keep them out. An make a sign that says no visitors. They will get over it.

Both mine and dh parents are divorced our rule is no matter how long they have been together or will be together if you aren't blood then you aren't grandma or grandpa. This would be different if they were married together from when we were little but the divorces happened when we were adults. So no she isn't grandma if you guys don't want her to be and your husband needs to say here's is grandpa and (insert first name) if she says no grandma he needs to reply sorry but you will not be grandma that simple. Needs to come from him so it doesn't come back on you.

Thank you ladies for all of your responses! Pp his family tried to say I was rude because I told her not to touch me again. I had to say look this is MY body, my baby may be in there but you can't physically touch him, you're touching me. I don't think they really got it though.

Anyway I would like that rule as well pp for not blood not grandparents. If I and dh were comfortable around her then I would have no problem with her coming after he was born. But the fact is, I'm not, she has no sense for boundaries obviously and she's just so rude. I swear I would have to hurt her if she nonchalantly said something rude about my son. Which is why this is such a crappy situation. She even had the nerve at my baby shower to ask if my siblings and I all had different dads because we are all different shades.

My parents got married the night they met and have been together ever since. But I mean really? Just because the color of our skin? My mom is Native American and my dad is black. In case you guys were wondering.

Put her in her place. People like this need knocking down a peg or two. This reminds me of a friend of mine who's dad told her she had to buy his wife a mother's day present and when she refused went and bought one himself and asked for the money back. She replied "hell no she ain't my mum, she should have had her own f*** ing kids instead of being a vile b**** her whole life" ?

????????? well now her kids are trying to add me on Fb saying their kids are going to be my kids aunts lmao! Heck no. ??

I agree with lilmiss here. Unless they get married she's just a girlfriend. I do have a step grandma myself that I never called anything but her name until her and my papa got married. Now I call her grandma Jan. Lol

I don't call her anything but her name. She's been trying to make the decisions on what to get my son. She asked what I needed and I just said I would tell FIL because he's the one that's going to buy it. She then tried to tell my mom to only contact her because she gets jealous of her talking to FIL. I just told my mom I would have DH talk to his dad or I would.

Your parents got married the night they met? Man talk about going all in lol

I know lol I always joked around and said they were just horny and couldn't wait. But it was really love at first sight, go figure! Lol 30 years together now!

Yeah my husband and I feel if we didn't grow up with you as a step parent and your not blood then your not a grandparent to our child. My fil is moving onto wife #3 so whether our parent is married to the person or not they only get the name title. Some may feel different in their situation but this is what works for us. As far as touching people know they need to ask me... I guess I have a good resting batch face lol no one dares touch me. I would start rubbing her belly back and tell her oh I thought it was the thing to do now a days. The hospital heck no just don't text them until you are ready for visitors I never understood why people want to sit at the hospital for 24 hours waiting for a baby to come just be home and when we are ready we will call lol. Just stick to your guns op

I don't get why they are in such a rush either! And I especially don't get what the point in touching me repeatedly is. I mean he doesn't move for anyone but dh and I. And rubbing my belly without my permission just makes me mad and feel violated! Dh is saying he's going to tell people when I'm in labor and I told him I'll break his phone if he tries lol.