Thats how willow acts when dad holds her most of the time...

So sorry he's being like this. I truly hope he makes changes for you and Raptor.

Yes raptor was planned and my hubby was so excited the whole pregnancy which makes all this that much more hurtful! I NEVER would have expected him to be this way with how he acted while I was pregnant! We do a date night 2-3 times a month and it usually ends up in a fight or me crying from him being a jerk. Sometimes we have a great night though and have a blast and laugh and smile..He just got on antidepressants I'm hoping that will help.

Like I mentioned, we tried counseling and it was a disaster. Even tried different councilors and it was just bad.

He's not physically abusive but he's very emotionally and verbally abusive and it's really hard. Idk.. I just keep hoping things will change but unfortunately they never do. I just don't want raptor growing up thinking that's how you talk to anyone let alone a woman, your wife, etc.. Raptor doesn't even like going to his daddy. If my husband takes him for a second raptor immediately starts screaming then I go get him and he instantly stops. I envy you ladies that have involved husbands!

We tried counseling and it was a disaster. I really wish he was more involved, it makes me sad. He will play with raptor for little 15 minute spurts here and there as long As raptor is super happy and smiley. He doesn't help with baths, anything around the house, I never get alone time unless my mom watches him for an hour. Yes, my marriage is a lot of fun (sarcasm)! My husband is a very angry, manipulative and selfish person who has his sweet moments.

Now that is a tough situation. Have you thought about counseling? He will regret not being involved with his child. I do think most men bond better with their children as they get older and can interact with them. Still no excuse to not help you. My husband helps with everything and he works long days in the office. He comes home and takes care of whatever I need. Usually holds or plays with baby while I cook. If baby needs a diaper, he doesn't think twice about changing it. Then he does bath time and bedtime for our three year old, while I put baby to bed. On the weekend, I'll leave for an hour to have time to myself and he has the girls. I mention these things because all of that really helps him bond with the baby and our 3 year old. I hope he comes around for Raptor and any future children you have. :)

I really think I would like another one. The really big issue though that I haven't mentioned because I hate talking about it is my husband.

He doesn't help at all. Only acts annoyed by raptor. My mom has been my help since baby boy arrived. Really since raptor was born in October my husband has changed MAYBE 10 diapers. He won't watch him even while I shower, won't help with anything and like I said just gets annoyed. He works graveyards from 11 pm until he gets home at about 8 am then sleeps until about 6 pm then goes to the gym then comes home and sleeps until he goes back to work Just waking up long enough to tell me he's hungry (for me to make him food) or to figure out why raptor is crying. And before I get this advice.. yes I have talked to him MULTIPLE times about it and expressed my feelings and it does nothing but enrage him!

So aside from my moms amazing help, I'm basically a single mom. I don't know about doing that with 2 sweet babies. :(

So true about the age difference. Mine are 33 months apart, and it's great in many ways. Oldest one was potty trained, in a big bed and is such a big helper. No jealousy and it's been a great transition. BUT if we were crazy enough to go for a third, we would be doing it much closer together. We don't want to be in baby stage forever.

Also, the people that I know, who are only children, are happy people. But it's tough sometimes. Those whose parents have passed away, feel very alone. They also feel a bit sad at family gatherings, etc. because there's no cousins or anything like that. But of course whatever works for each family. :)

Chepshow I loved your responses! Seriously!! And I agree I think short term with a small gap u would think I was crazy for doing it but 5-6-10 years from now would be so happy! And I'm not worried about a lot of work, I love being a mommy more than anything!

Mine are 15 months and 1 day apart. .. and she (4months) wont let me do anything and since I cant afford a decent baby wearing device I feel trapped. Nobody helps with cooking or cleaning or anything... their dad cares for him but wont help with her because 2 him its weird... see my mostrecent rant from early this morning

There is good/bad with either choice. Not really bad but don't have a better word..I'm sure you ladies get my drift though haha.

I can tell you, I grew up an only child and loved it until I hit 30 and my parents divorced. It has been a nightmare since. Wish I had someone now to deal with one of them. I now have two boys. Almost 11 and a 4 month old. My 11 year old has always wanted a sibling but I was good with one. Killian was our surprise. I'm so glad to have two now.

Beth, yep! I know exactly what you're saying haha.

Small-fry I know 2 under 2 would be really hard but it would be the way i would want to do it. My mom had my older brothers almost exactly two years apart and she said it was perfect! They've been really close their whole lives. Then I came along 10 years later and was basically an only child but honestly I loved it! I also have endless help from my mom, she's amazing!

But everything you said about the attention stuff is what really makes me think I just want raptor and to have him always be my sole focus!

I'm so glad I'm not alone in thinking about another. By the end of my pregnancy, my thought was never again...now all the sudden I'm scared to get rid of my maternity clothes bc the thought of another is creeping into my head... My baby is growing so fast it makes me sad :(

Having 2 really close in ages eapecially under 2 is hard. Its easier if u have alot of help but still hard. I rarely get to be plaufull with braylen anymore because willow will cry if I put her down or if anyobe else holds her its just me and her... he does love her and its beautiful but I also miss when I could direct my loving attention his way anytime now its so hard 2.. she is 4 months now so hopefully once her teeth chill out and she figures things out itll get easier

You will also be giving them the bond of having a sibling though, a built in best friend someone to grow, learn and share life with... which he wouldn't have if you decided not to have anymore children.. I had my second son in December and they are 17 months apart and I can already see the love between them, it melts my heart!!!!

Hahaha yep! You sound EXACTLY like me! I love it!

A month ago I was like, "thank goodness I don't have to breastfeed another or get my body back again." Now I'm like, "WAIT, I'm NEVER going to get to do this again??!!" Haha

I totally understand. I was a one, two at most, momma. I'm not sure why I'm all the sudden thinking the more the merrier. Haha. But two is more than doable.

If we have another..it will be our only other haha! We want 2 at the most :)

I absolutely love being a momma and feel sad thinking "what if I'm never pregnant again, what if this is my only time experiencing this or that" but then I have the same kind of "what if" thoughts when I think about having another ! It's like a spiral of thoughts I can't ever get out of lol.

Also, I had a hard 2nd pregnancy. That's the part that makes me ok with 2. Ha

I had my second when my was first almost 3. I had the same fear but it is awesome. She really loves her little sister. The first two months were tough with breastfeeding, but after that, I find it easy. My hubs is getting snipped next month and I'm nervous thinking I may want a third. Lol!

Kchitica I'm really scared of another pregnancy as well! Raptor was born at 32 weeks via emergency c section and me and him both could have died in the hours leading up to it :( luckily we both came out of it fine and he did amazing and had no problems...but what if next time We aren't so lucky?

Scares the s$&t outta me :(

And we are right there with you on the "spoiling" side of things.

I agree, I think it's a common fear!

I know I would love them both the same and with my whole heart.. I'm not worried about that at all! I also know I would be ecstatic to have another one. I'm just scared of losing that special one on one bond with my son.

We're going through the same thing right now- however my dr strongly discourages me getting pregnant again ( had a very difficult delivery that almost costs mine and babes life) anywho, were at that point where our son is growing out of things and we are either going to save them or sell them... But I love my alone time with my son.. I want to be able to spoil the crap outta him and the more kids we have the less likely we can. I think we're going to wait till he's 15 months and then go from there.

I think a lot of women think like that but when the second comes along they realize they have just as much love to give to the next child. I want my lo to have at least one sibling.