Yeah, the shock is wearing off now. Hopefully he starts to feel better soon. Hate it knowing he's upset. Just started my first pp period, sooo now it makes sense why I was a big o bag of emotions. ?

I've dealt with this before on a couple occasions. It helps to keep reminding yourself that depression is a mostly inner demon. It's never that you aren't enough or the kids aren't enough to make him happy. His brain is having a hard time registering anything happy right now. It's not your fault or his (unless he refuses to seek some kind of help). And it seems especially hard for men because they're conditioned to think they shouldn't even recognize or acknowledge they have feelings let alone let them affect them or their family. It makes them clam up and repress until it reaches levels it never had to get to if they'd just admit to themselves they were down in the first place.

I know it's hard not to take it personally. It's difficult for you too, but try to at least remind yourself cognitively that depression is a beast that has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you or your family. Hope he feels better soon.

I really appreciate everyone. Thank you a million. It really has helped to see it from both angles from you ladies. I guess you hit the nail on the head, I guess what I'm feeling is guilt. I feel guilty for thinking about my own feelings when he's the one going through a tough time. I think today when he gets off I'll just tell him I'm always here but I understand some people want to be alone. Just want to make sure he doesn't insulate himself but also not smothering him.

OP I'm sorry, I'm sure this is hard. Maybe he just felt embarrassed? Especially if he considers himself to have a more patriarchal role, this could feel like failure to him. I would just allow yourself to go through your process of what you're feeling but also know and remind yourself that no one else's feelings are your fault. We all are responsible for our own feelings.

Just try to be there for him and see if you can ask him questions like when he noticed feeling off.

It's also not just black and white. Some moments he might feel a little better, and it may have taken him some time to realize that it is depression... I am unmedicated bipolar, and sometimes it takes me days to realize that I have sunken into a really bad low.

Honestly, I have stopped telling my husband because it really doesn't do any good. He can't really help, and because he isn't depressed himself, he can't seem to empathize with me- he suggests things that only someone that never dealt with depression would suggest. Kinda like "suck it up, buttercup" mentality... which only makes me feel worse.

As someone who's suffered depression in the past, I can assure you that admitting to you that he's struggling is the hardest thing he's done for a long while. It's so difficult to admit to it, for me not as it's taboo for some, just because I felt like if I admitted it, if I told someone it would actually be real and I used to try and make irrational excuses as to why I felt that way as I didn't want to accept the fact that I had depression as I felt weak. This isn't your fault sweetie, you can have the happiest life and be hit by it, it's a chemical imbalance in your brain. I had everything playing for me, no reason to be depressed, I was doing so well in college, had a ton of friends, amazing social life and I was blessed with my family, yet it still took hold of me.

The best thing you can do is be there to support him, let him know he's not alone. Getting him to see a doctor is a really good idea! Just remember, don't be hard on yourself, it isn't your fault! Try and talk to him when you're ready. You might cry, me and my SO did a lot of that, especially after I gave birth when I thought it had returned but it was just the baby blues. Good luck, praying for your family and I hope your husband gets to feeling happier soon ???

I suffer from depression. I'm not medicated for it and every once in a blue moon I will be hit with a really hard wave of it and am really struggling. I never tell DH about it. Not because I don't want him to know or don't trust him with the info or his ability to help me. I don't tell him because in those times I'm so overwhelmed by this deep sadness and internal pain that I feel like it would burden him if I tell him. It's illogical but it's true. It also usually takes me a bit to figure out that it truly is depression. Don't take it personally. It's not about you or your family and whether or not you're good enough. You're plenty good enough and without you, I'm almost positive his depression would be worse. You're in a very difficult place. Just be there and support him the best you can and know that this too shall pass.

My dh was diagnosis with panic disorder and depression a little over a year ago. I felt the same way. He didn't just tell me either and he's reason was he didn't want me to worry as well as he was scared himself. He thought if he ignored it it would go away. I felt guilty when I would cry alone.Why am I crying when he's the one struggling to feel normal everyday. It's a horrible cycle and very hard at first. Eventually it gets better and there are still dark times. I just try my best to stay positive and look for triggers and try to avoid them. Your feelings are normal but I promise it has nothing to do with you.

I think you're being incredibly hard on yourself. You said he's going through a rough time.

Don't, for a second, believe that you and your kids aren't enough to make him happy. That has nothing to do with it. Postpartum women get depression, but that has nothing to do with their feelings about their baby or family right? So do not guilt trip yourself. Just be supportive and get through this little, rough patch as a team. I'm sure he's still trying to sort out these emotions himself. Stay positive & remember it isn't the end of the world. This is just temporary. Good luck.

Most people do not just come out and say they are suffering regardless of relationships. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship but I suffer with depression and my brain doesn't allow me to realize people would be willing to listen. He also may have been afraid to tell you because he didn't want you to think it was your fault. For me it's easier not to talk to my husband about it because I worry that anything I say he will take personally and feel he should have done something different and the fact is depression is often without cause. It comes on for no reason and is really hard to get rid of.