Finally talked to him last night, everything went great! He really understood me and wasn't sad or dissapointed at all.

He said either he would tell her or the nurse could. We decided on having the nurse do it

Thanks everyone who helped me with this!

Ugh I stilll haven't found the right time to talk to him about it :(((

If your SO was there too, and witnessed this whole thing, maybe you'll have a little more on your side to back you up. Tell him that he can be the first to visit, but that you don't feel like you can handle both childbirth and her antics at the same time.

I would just stand my ground and explain that you want to feel as relaxed as possible during labour, which your MIL just doesn't make you feel. And explain you don't want such a special moment as you giving birth for the first time, to be spoilt by you being stressed out.

Really I don't know how your MIL can have the nerve to ask to be there though, when she's b****ed about you all this time. I'd definitely be putting my foot down! And as for having your child stay at her house within the first week of being born, I'd set her straight on that too. You have my greatest sympathy as she sounds awful. I hope your SO supports you in your decision and you have a stress free labour x

Show you SO this post you made for us any guy would see your point and understand!!

Good idea let him read post.

All good points and ideas, I'm tempted to just my SO read this post & comments.

I hate to tell him she can't come in, because he is such a big mommas boy (not a bad thing) but he dissent understand how it is for me.

Thts true but if she ends up going in and she starts her garbage then won't she ruin it anyway

I don't know maybe try your hardest to keep her away and if tht doesn't work just let her have it

Same way I told my fiancée in NO way will my "father" be at the hospital. "When you can push a baby out your dick, you go ahead and pick who gets to be there. But until then, I'm the one going through this, and he won't be there."

just tell the nurses who is allowed in and who isn't. they won't let her in if you don't want her there

she sounds like she needs a hug myself jacket and a shot of that cloudy pink s*** they give you in the loony bin when you get out of hand....mother in law? more like smother in law. jeez this lady is stressing me out just reading about it. honestly you're not in the wrong. she Sounds completely nutters!

just tell her no. tell your SO to tell her no. be polite but firm. it's your baby not hers. tell her to go adopt a child if she wants to raise another one but she will not raise YOUR baby. if she can't take it with you being polite but firm then go ahead and be not so polite. either way hold your ground, don't let her control your family or guilt you into anything

@foofoo

Thats exactly what my mom told me! It sounded good at first, but once I let her in the room I know my first birth experiance will be ruined...

My advice is if u Do decide to bring her in tell it to her like it is

Get it off your chest while in labour

Some might disagree but I find that during labour it's easier to let out all frustrations because no one can say anything to u and the aftermath will be far less

Plus u will not care about her feelings and how she reacts wen ur having ur contractions

@Mir

Thanks! I hope I can talk to SO about it tonight...

I wish SO would just confront her about it because he knows how I feel about everything with her (except the latest delivery room incident)

Tell her off! She had her chance to raise her kids this is your turn. If she wants to be overbearing and disrespectful to you and your wishes she should be expecting to be b**** ed out. This is your labour experience don't let the psycho ruin it for you.

@Mir

My MIL is anything but nice...

She is convinced she knows what's best for my child.

he's not even born yet and she already bought his first Halloween costume, she's somehow got the idea that he was going to stay at her house within the first week he was born, and she continues to try to get me to induce my labor (which I don't wanna do, and she knows this)

My mil is really nice so when I had to have this talk with my SO I just told him I needed my mom there because I would be in pain and probably scared seeing as its my first time in labour. Sure he's going through emotional stress while you're in labour but you'll be going through emotional and physical stress and you're needs come first.

@3boys

That's what I planned on doing but then 1 day out of the blue before I can even mention it, he brought up something about his mom AND his aunt being in the room...

I was like "um babe your aunt can't be in the room id feel way to uncomfortable"

So after that how can I tell him that he can't have ANY of his family in there?

I think you just need to come out and tell him exactly how you feel. He was there in the room, he saw how she acted, explain that it stresses you out and its already an extremely stressful situation. Tell him how you didn't appreciate how rude she was to the nurse, that they are there to help and you don't want them dredding coming to help you cuz they might be treated poorly. This is your guys baby, she wasn't in the bedroom when you concived was she? So she doesn't need to be at the delivery. Also point out how child birth is kind of a private and very embarassing thing, you may not want her seeing all your lady parts and everything. Good luck hun, I hope everything works out

just tell him that this was basically a trial run for it and she was not helpful and is causing too much stress on you. you should be able to enjoy that time and be as relaxed as you can. i told my family and my SO that its only going to be me and him in the room and if they want to b**** about it to do it elsewhere. its your body and your special time.. it's also your vag that will be on display. just tell him your not comfortable with it. he should understand

If all else fails just tell him you're not comfortable with her seeing your lady bits ?

I just feel bad because the way I see it is -its my first kid my mom IS going to be in the room and then I have to think it's also his first kid so of course he wants him mom there too...

It would just be easier if she wasn't so damn crazy.

like this "I only want you and my mom in the room" simple, easy and to the point. Can you imagine how much stress she will put you through if it takes you a few hours. she sounds like a handful!

like pp said just be honest and tell him all the reasons why you don't want your mil in the room

Break it down for him just like you did for us and if he doesn't see eye to eye then don't let him in either lol

Just tell him she isn't welcome. You're the one in labour not him and I don't think he should have a say who gets to be in the room when your child is born. If she stresses you out she's no help and therefor not needed!

Just be honest and tell him. You need to be comfortable!