#Mombassadorchat Moms, Today's chat is with @mrs.mommy.loza

@singlemommyof2boys, Congrats Mama! For those who've never been in a situation like that they wouldn't understand that it's a huge accomplishment to walk away. No one walks into a relationship knowing their SO is going to abuse them, so when I hear they walk away my heart gets happy. Most of the time people stay in the situation because they're either too scared or just plain used to it and tolerate it. I know I did for too long. I'm going on 8 years since the last time I let anyone bully me. It took a while for me to even want to be out in public, but I got help to become "normal" again.

@theinkedmommy, No problem! It really is sad how common bullying is now. Another way to know what's going on in your kids life at school is to be a part of their school. Go to PTA meetings and get a feel of what's going on in the school. I know a lot of parents don't have time with work and everyday life, but honestly a meeting here and there would be a great idea. It's really a good way to k ow what kind of school your kids are in.

It's sad at how this world has become... the people in it can be so vile. I once was in a relationship where every time he seen me he had my phone, I couldn't touch it until he went home. We'd be somewhere in public and I'd do something wrong and he'd twist my wrist, he'd hold me up against walls and force my hand down his pants.. it's not nearly as bad as the things some of you ladies have been thro but it was bad.. I was also abused as a kid, so bad I had to be taken to get special help/therapy. A story I don't not wanna get into but trust me it's messed me up for life. I really hope and pray the best for our kids and us. I'm so sorry to all of you who has been thro something so hard, you have a ton of mommies here standing with you♥️

Out of all of my children, I have one who is bullied. My children are all tall and thin except for her. She is shorter, chubbier, red hair, and freckles. Not only does she get picked on for her appearane, she is in resource classes at school because of a learning disability. Breaks my heart.

I was bullied from 5th grade to the end of h.s. in result it has caused my constant depression anxiety and low self esteem and worth. My son has been already been bullied on a play ground before even pre-k. I didnt know about it till later he shrugged it off. But I can only imagine how he felt how can kids treat each other like this at 3 years old?! I want to do what's best for my kids but I am the kind of mom who will go crazy on people for treating my kids badly because of how much I was bullied and no one told me what bullying was or how to prevent it. So...if I saw/ heard what was going on how should I go about dealing with it if it happens again? I don't want my kids to ever deal with what I did whether its verbal or physical or mental. @mrs.mommy.loza

I was bullied from elementary-high school.

So sad that I had to go through that by getting hit and got called names. I never told anybody because I thought I was going to make things worse. Now I have two kids and planning on having good communication with them and being on top of everything because I would hate for them to go through for what I went through. I don't tolerate bullies.

I was bullied in school. Most of them were popular snobs who dressed better than me as had better stuff and then there were the ones who's parents didnt care and encouraged bullying! One of the reasons I'd rather homeschool my kids bc I would beat parents ass for letting their kid pick on someone else!

Semi colon project for survivors

@singlemommyof2boys, You're doing a great job Mama!! I'm sure your boys appreciate whatever you pour out onto them. In the future they'll not only remember what your ex did to you, but they'll more remember how strong you were and how you overcame it and still did a wonderful job raising them.

@mrs.mommy.loza I am getting as much info as I can on the subject so I can jumpstart my education.. I think im doing ok, in my life. I mean im not always full of great days, there are bad days too. Sometimes the bad days you seriously don't want to do anything.. I have a had a few where the boys got Lunchables for lunch, and a sandwich for supper.. Cuz I didn't want to put the effort in to cook.. And then on the good days, they had homemade waffles, with fresh strawberries, and homemade oatmeal... And for lunch, homemade chicken strips, and fresh cut fries, with some fresh fruit. It really depends on my mood that day.. But now I can say I don't have as many bad days anymore. 😃

@singlemommyof2boys, Yes, definitely become a part of groups near your area. Talking about it helps you get through it a lot more, especially when it's with people who have also been through what you're going through. That's definitely great advice to give.

@mrs.mommy.loza yea. I'm well aware. Honestly the best place that I have ever gone was to the children's Inn. They have a women's support group there for Abused Women and it was so informative I loved it so much. I suggest honestly if anybody has anything like that where they are at go check it out. It does a lot of good and you learn so much about abusers patterns.

@singlemommyof2boys, If his family sees nothing wrong with what he's done then that is where the problem lies. It only means that it's within his family is where he learned it or seen it happen.

@mrs.mommy.loza it is very hard to walk away from someone you love, but sometimes its needed. I walked away after he was arrested, so it was a bit eaiser, but it still came with loneyness, and heart break... And trying to tell my story has been super hard, since his family wont even accept that he's done anything wrong... They say I did it all, his mom said I got him arrested, I didn't call the cops that night, he did. I told the truth about what happened. And somehow I put the handcuffs on him, threw him in the back the cop car, and drove him to the jail.. Lmao. Yep. I did it all. Lmao.

When I was going through that I actually attempted to kill myself a couple of times, but the reality is it was really a cry out for help. I turned to booze and pills to tune out what I was really going through instead of just asking for help.

@singlemommyof2boys, Congrats Mama! For those who've never been in a situation like that they wouldn't understand that it's a huge accomplishment to walk away. No one walks into a relationship knowing their SO is going to abuse them, so when I hear they walk away my heart gets happy. Most of the time people stay in the situation because they're either too scared or just plain used to it and tolerate it. I know I did for too long. I'm going on 8 years since the last time I let anyone bully me. It took a while for me to even want to be out in public, but I got help to become "normal" again.

@mrs.mommy.loza I actually got out 3 years ago, April 12 will be 4 years. Its kinda like a birthday to a new start. Its a tough day, but it makes me stronger every year. I'm in the process of divorce, and he's getting his 3rd domestic violence charge, (I think my lawyer said 5 years in prison but im not sure)

@singlemommyof2boys, That's a coward for you! Any man that hits a female has serious issues inside that they've never dealt with. It's never ok to accept being hit by your SO. Get help immediately if you're in an abusive relationship. Never accept or tolerate it, or they'll always think it's ok and end up getting worse.

@smilingwithmyawesome4kids, I'm so sorry to hear that! It's never an easy thing to hear and see your child being bullied. Always go straight to the school board if you're told "kids will be kids!" Never except that from anyone! Go to the teacher immediately set up a meeting with the parents (always ask for both parents to attend), teacher, and principal. Don't waist any time doing one meeting at a time. If anyone makes excuses to attend be persistent until all parties attend. If there is nothing done at that first meeting go to the school board right away, because usually the first meeting will make a bully want to bully the child even more. Make a police report if you have to, nothing is off limits when it comes to protecting your child.

@mommy.to.sterling, Honestly the best thing nowadays is to send someone to get help while someone stays behind to record it so it gets documented and the school will have no other choice but to do something about it. I wouldn't suggest a child getting involved unless they've taken self defense classes and have been taught how to defuse a situation like that. As long as a child is taught to not want to just stand by and watch a good fight they won't mind running away from it to get help. No joke a lot of times kids see people being nosy in situations instead of getting help so that's what they end up doing when they run into a situation such as bullying. They'd rather see the action instead of getting help.

Threw* me out of the way of my oldest** my bad

@mrs.mommy.loza I had a gun held to my head, and I begged him to kill me, he laughed in my face, and said "I'm not done with you yet" and proceeded to psychally abuse me the rest of the night, until about 12am when he finally hit his own head on the dresser, and called the cops saying I did it... My 5 year old(3 at the time) seen it, and remembers every detail from that night. I was in a fight position, and not letting either of my boys get hurt, he grew me out of the way of my oldest, right before the cops there, he was gonna try to hurt my son.. I came up in front of him and kicked him in the balls, grabbed both my boys and went to the bathroom and hid until the cops got there.. I sat myself in front of the door(after locking it) just in case he broke it down..

@singlemommyof2boys, Exactly! Nowadays bullying is "what's in!" Fighting has become so popular that all the kids feel the need to prove they can fight. That's why honesty it's so important that kids get into self defense classes, even adults should take the classes as well. Bullying doesn't stop when school finishes. You & I both know what it's like to be bullied by someone you love and should be able to trust. If a man does not respect you, you have to move on. My ex attempted to throw me off our 11th floor building, I fought tooth and nail to survive. I'm so glad I did so I can help others to survive as well.

My 2 special needs sons are often bullied because they don't speak that well. Other children will call them stupid and dumb when they were in public schools. It's so so difficult to see my sons scared to go to school because they didn't want to be bullied. One time another child hit Dan Dan with his book bag and caused him to cry 😭 and have a swollen black eye . He begged me to keep him home. I told him to stay away from that child. Little did I know that the child would bother my son. I felt like a horrible mother telling my child to stay from this child. He did everything to not hit by this bully but nothing worked. I requested a meeting with his principal and the child's parents and my son and the bully . But the family kept saying that my son was lying 🤥. The principle overlooked the situation with this bully and say kids will be kids . I was pissed 😡 off I couldn't believe she just said that to me . I took it as bullying was acceptable. So the next morning I told my son to tell his teacher and if that doesn't work to tell his principal. If they continue to accept this bully behavior I will handle that. He came back home with 2 swollen black eyes and a busted swollen lip . I immediately called the district school board and I spoke with the receptionist and I asked for the district school board email address I took pictures of my son . The next day the district school board contacted me and they apologize for the way my son was getting treated . My son's teacher and his principal was both terminated immediately. Now they have a Zero tolerance for being bullied . I am glad my son communicated with me . Many children don't feel like they can tell anyone? My son blamed his self . He kept calling himself dumb and stupid because that's what the children at his public school were calling him. I am glad you our discussing being bullied through the eyes of the one being bullied @mrs.mommy.loza,

@theinkedmommy, Most of the time a bully becomes a bully because there is no stability in the home. Most of the bullies I've ran into have parents that don't know how to love, or are too harsh on the kid. So the only way they learn to express what they feel is by aggression. They lash out on the easiest person they feel they can beat, both mentally & physically. A lot of these kids come from broken homes as well, so they learn what they see with two argumentative parents and become what they see. If kids don't see their parents respect each other they either become one of two things; a bully, or the bullied. It all depends on what a child sees growing up.

@theinkedmommy my boys are going to super nice, as a bullied parent when I was younger, I don't want them being the bullies. Its not ok. And if someone picks on them, they tell me, and they know "mom will get them!!!" Don't mess with my boys.

@mrs.mommy.loza I was abused for a 4 year long relationship, more than psycal abuse, as well as mental and emotional.. My mom was very emotionally abusive as well, saying I was too stupid to graduate high school and so on, I was also bullied from kindergarten on, until 5th grade.. 6th grade came around, and I made a change, i lost some weight, made some "scared of" friends. (Other people were scared of these 2 guys) stayed friends with them, until my senior year in high school, and at that point I got bullied cuz I was too skinny, i was 102lbs, 4ft 11inchs tall... "Dang, you need a double cheese burger, and an extra large fry!!" "Don't you ever eat?!" Even the staff started on, "im concerned about your home life.. Do you get enough to eat?!?" Please I can eat 2 or 3 bags of chips and not gain an oz.. My metabolism was super high....

@mrs.mommy.loza, I plan on being as involved with her schooling as possible. I'm a SAHM right now, and things may change when she gets to school, but I will definitely always be there for her. I will NOT tolerate bullying! It's sad that parents don't teach their children to be kind to others! 😤

@theinkedmommy, No problem! It really is sad how common bullying is now. Another way to know what's going on in your kids life at school is to be a part of their school. Go to PTA meetings and get a feel of what's going on in the school. I know a lot of parents don't have time with work and everyday life, but honestly a meeting here and there would be a great idea. It's really a good way to k ow what kind of school your kids are in.

@mrs.mommy.loza, My daughter has a few years to go, but I've always been worried about her being bullied. Her father and I never were, and I hope she never is. Thanks for the tips, that really helps, especially being a first time mom! ❤️

You know weight is one of the most common types of bullying. It's sad to say that kids are brought up nowadays that they have to look a certain way in order to be accepted, and that's just not right. @achappex3,

@theinkedmommy, Most important thing to do is talk with your child(ren) make sure they know to be open and honest if they're being bullied. Most of the time kids are afraid to admit they are being bullied and usually wait till it's to late to speak up. Be involved with your children's life in school and out. Let your children know that it's not ok, and it's important to speak up. Share videos, have conversations, talk about it even if they don't say anything to you. Also, pay attention to their friends get to k ow them, host study days at home so you know who is around your children because a lot of times the bullies turn out to be a friend. It's sad to say but nowadays you have to put your children in self defense classes. My husband teaches Jiu Jitsu to kids ages 3 & up. It's really sad to hear the stories these kids go through these days. It's a lot tougher for kids now that it's ever been.

@mrs.mommy.loza, I was bullied as well, for a different reason-- weight. Growing up I've always been the "bigger girl" and growing up in a suburb didn't help much.

@mrs.mommy.loza, How would you teach your children to handle bullying when they go into school?

Last week my little cousin started school and already he got jumped by 5 kids. Last year my nephew was bullied in the last few days of school and came home with a black eyes. My niece was also chased by 5 different girls and almost got jumped but she was able to out run the girls. Bullying has become so common its insane!

@mommyof2preciousboys1216, I'm so sorry to hear that. Have you talked with the school about it yet?

@megbaby07, Thanks Mama! Yes, we truly do come out stronger!

I know what its like I was bullied in school in elementary school also. And now my son is experiencing the same thing and he's in kindergarten it started last year in pre-k

Coming from someone that has been bullied, you came out stronger love. So proud of you❤️ I’m all for tips of preventing bullying! @mrs.mommy.loza