I wrote this when I finally found free time... this is very personal & came from deep depths of my heart & soul you…

I wrote this when I finally found free time... this is very personal & came from deep depths of my heart & soul you guys. enjoy. 💗🌌💓

Being a young parent isnt easy. Just when I thought I knew it all & had life by a tight grip it all changed when my daughter made her appearance in this world & I realized there was SO much I didnt know. I matured in so many ways & my main focus then became my child. It terrified me thinking her future laid in my hands, the future of someone so pure of innocence and love. But then I realized that no matter how scared I was, it was God that did this & knowing he trusts me enough to have the duty of being a mother gave me faith in myself. If your like me & grew up way too fast as a kid, you know what its like to fantasize about the things you missed out on looking back. And that gut craving you get of wanting to be a kid again where your biggest problem was not being able to find your blue crayon, hits you hard & you sit there thinking to yourself how nice it must be being clueless to the adult world thats cold & tough. You sit & regret rushing it wanting nothing more than to go to the one place where fairytales and magic happens and anything is possible. The place you were sheltered... ( what us as kids got confused for as suffocated and trapped & is a big reason we did grow up too fast to feel Independent and free only later to end up regretting it. ) I believe there comes a point in everyones life where they wish they had one more shot at there childhood or maybe to even cherish the memories more. And I think its important my daughter knows that being a kid is awesome. Being a kid is a once in a lifetime thing because as soon as its all over you will never get it back. After your childhood you permanently become an adult. Its so important to me she understands this & has no rush towards growing up. But in just four months Ive found myself in another zone with my daughter. When Im not doing motherly duties: feeding her, changing her wet diapers, soothing her when shes fussy, cleaning her bottles, washing her clothes, burping her till her belly feels better, or bathing her... when Im laying back with her in my hands as she sits on top of me or when im laying right beside her talking like a five year old to communicate with my daughter, trying 30 minutes to get her curious confused face to change into a huge smile or laugh or even jibberish babytalk is when I find myself in a whole different world. A place I feel so secure and safe... A place I feel free and more than anything happy. The shittyness of the world goes away and all my problems no longer exist. & all that matters at that moment is my daughter; to make sure shes happy. & its the times she does start laughing at my dumb noises and faces or kicks her legs happily that I realize how FUN my future is going to be. & I thought I knew the feeling of excitement before.... theres nothing that competes with the rush of excitement I get from thinking, Jesses childhood lays in my hands. & Ill be damned if it is not magical. To think that not only do I get to be part of that happy place kids are in, but even better I get to be the author of my daughters kid years. Hopefully a good reflection towards her teen years to eventually shape her into the honest woman I pray she becomes. I get to be the one who creates the magic for her when she starts talking and walking. I get to be the one she listens to when she learns about the holidays and Santa and the Easter bunny or even the tooth fairy. I get to create the bed time stories and the adventures she will play out everyday, for her days will be nothing but innocence and adventure. I get to live a childhood over again AND be the story teller of it all. And its the small things like that, that reminds me god knows what everyone needs and he answers prayers in ways wed least expect. And its the blessings he does give that makes us stronger later in life and even heals us in the ways weve needed healing our whole lives. I thank God for giving me my daughter, and I thank my daughter for truly bringing out the best of me.