Need some advice. Been with someone for 9 months now. Grew up with him. But I have 3 kids who love him. He has 1 son who whenever we have him he causes issues and puts us against eachother. I was told the other night to make his son happy he thinks we should end it. After we talked he says he doesn't want to but we are both clueless as to what to do to help him be part Of our family.
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@blessedmommabear I agree that's what worries me.
@blessedmommabear that's where my SO and I are at. But leaving him his son gets his way and my 3 get hurt bc like I said they see how happy life is with a man that wants to be in their life and does stuff. We don't live together and my 5 year old will call him to come over and tuck him in at bed time. They have gotten close.
@blessedmommabear they live in a different state and they have had joint talks with him over the phone while on speaker while they both talk to him. They hAvnt been together since he was a baby. So he's never known what it's like for them to be together. Hes been told that they were very unhappy together and its better to have happy parents rather than living in a house with parents that don't get along. But he will come visit and tell us all these storys about how his mom and SO are mean and yell and dissapline. Then goes home and tells them the same about us. This time went home and told his mom that my kids and I beat him daily. When the only time any thing physical happened was when punched my son in the face then after that he Locked me out of my car with him and keys inside it refusing to open it. But told his mom we were lieing and just wanted him in trouble. It's just stressful bc I'm trying to make sure he knows he's wanted and a part of this. He just wont let us in.
@blessedmommabear it has been the other way around. It took my kids a couple months to let him in. And it was newer for them bc their dad and I were separated that long. But my kids saw how different life was now and how much happier everyone was and now they just adore him. He do family activities. I make sure any special outings are when we have his son so he doesn't feel excluded. But he does the same with his mom's SO and they hav3 been together for years. His mom says he treats her other half the same as me.
@drewandvaehsmommy that's what I'm saying. I'm the first that has been this involved. The first serious relationship my so has had since his son was a baby with his mother. He has admitted to lieing and trying to get us to argue to break up. But he went home after this last visit and told his mom so many lies about my kids and I. Horrible lies and my so knows they are but wants his son happy.
Oh no mama he is old enough to stay out of grown peoples business. Unfortunately its your so that is letting him get in the way
@drewandvaehsmommy that's what I said. I told him when my kids didn't like him in the beginning I told them I'm in the parent not them and now they absolutely love him.
@vs0221580 if tried everything with him. I'm a step kid so I can relate and I've talked and make sure he's not excluded. I make sure any thing that I planned with my kids is held off until he visits so he can do it as well.
His son probably just feels excluded and hurt seeing him around other kids all the time and not him. It's very common actually. Maybe try doing things together with just the three of you every once in awhile so he can get to know you better and most importantly respect you.
So hes going to let his child be the grown up here and tell him what to do? Smh. I personally would tell him either he gets his childs act right or leave. You guys are letting a child ruin your relationship
@blessedmommabear thank you. We have been talking and I told him we have lots to go to make a plan when it comes to all the kids