So got into an argument with so because when I ask him what all went on at work he says nothing and sometimes he'll tell me a story but he never brings up the females he interacts with, so he was telling me a story and mentioned a female name I never heard before and I'm like who is that? and he says oh she sits by me at work, when we're not working we talk and I'm like talk about what and why haven't I heard about this before and he says we talk about everything, so I'm like she's your friend and you never brought her up to me? and he was like she's not my friend she's just cool.... So I try to point out to him how foolish he sounds because you don't talk about everything with someone that isn't your friend but of course he gets "mad" calls me insecure and says he doesn't want to talk about it anymore as usual. I'm getting fed up tbh he always tries to act angry when I am questioning him about a female, and then he says since you think I'm cheating I might as well do it and he told me how easy he could get sex from females at his school, like yea that makes me trust you even more... I'll let him think he has one up on me because I'm pregnant but it'll be another story once I have my daughter and I point out how easy it is for me to get sex period.
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oh just now seeing your response . well in that case sounds like you have an issue on your hands because there is NOO new friends that you shouldnt be able to meet or have a convo with no matter where it takes place !! @2gents1ladyontheway all i can say is keep your eyes open and try to get more info from him without making it seem as such if you get what i mean @2gents1ladyontheway
well if this is something thats uneasy for you because you feel like hes holding back when speaking on it do you think he would let you meet her ? i mean he would want to know who your talking to and so close to tell everything to if it was the other way around ! id ask to meet her and honestly his reaction may tell it all !! @2gents1ladyontheway
Yea he would argue me down if I said I wanted to meet her, and it's impossible for me to meet her because you need a badge and you have to go through security where he works. I have nothing else to go off of and he shuts the conversation down anytime I ask questions about a female and that's what bothers me @jeanetta25
and if this is really a friend to him as he say then i say ask to meet her and figure it out for yourself !! go up there on his lunch or something like @nkinsey said . you can feel off bat if things are weird and it shouldnt be if they are just really friends . but if he doesnt want yall to meet after the convo yall just had and the comment about him being able to have sex with any girls but etc then yes red flag deff and major problems @2gents1ladyontheway
I get what you're saying and I get that he's going to work with females but my husband is the don't ask don't tell individual so I'll never know anything if I don't ask. I am the opposite I like to talk about my whole day details and all so I don't like how he doesn't tell me much of anything about his day, and I have brought him lunch but you have to go through security at his job and have a badge so there's no way I'll ever see this girl or the people he works with. @nkinsey I just feel like everyone is different because I have been with open and I didn't feel like I had to peel back layers to know simple things.
@2gents1ladyontheway, only if I met her and knew what her intentions were . Everyone can't be married and everyone isn't out for everyone's husbands . Would I let my so go hanging out with her no !! Because you are married and you don't need to hang with someone you just met that I don't know outside of work . But can they talk at work ? idc . to me its levels to it !! i can talk
to guys at work and leave it at work and call them a friend and i now talk to some employees that i haven been taking to all this time as well thingd change . but bet my so knows and if i telk them everything bet my so will meet them outta respect !! at the end of the day you know your partner and you know what is in the norm behavior for them so if you feel like hes being sneaky in any way then you prolly are most likely right . i just dont mkmd friends till a certaim extent versus some dont do them period .
Well see that wasn't clarified so naturally I felt like shots were being thrown at me and I took offense. If I know and met the girl and she isn't interested in getting to know anyone but my husband, she's okay with me. I'm married and I feel more comfortable with us having friends in relationships, would you be fine with your so befriending a single female? @jeanetta25
I wasn't call you insecure or controlling I said I think females who don't allow there partners to have females friends are insecure and controlling . I was giving my opinion on so having friends because some stated they don't want there guy having friends period . I read your post just fine !.. and I also stated that I only don't trust when there's a reason not to and in my second comment I said if my guy made a comment about him being able to easily cheat then that would make me feel some type of way in your situation. So I don't understand what part of the convo I missed . Or what was misconstrued @2gents1ladyontheway
So what would be an example of him "Giving you a reason" that you know of... And my husband has female friends that I have no issue with and I know respect my marriage , the female I brought up in this post is a co worker and I've heard about everyone he interacts with but her therefore I am going to ask questions about her because I do not know her and he hasn't told me about her during the 3 months they have "been cool" and chopping it up at work so if that's being controlling and insecure then that's your opinion to have, and idk if you read my whole post but the trust became a question when he mentions how easily he could cheat, nothing to do with the female. Tbh I don't feel like you read the whole post before you went on calling me insecure and controlling @jeanetta25
But if he says stuff like I could do this and that but I don't then that will deff make me feel some type of way !!!
Me personally don't care if my so have females friends I'm not insecure about my relationship and I'm also not going to start up anything if he hasn't gave me a reason to feel like I can't trust him talking to other females . I was never controlling in that matter .to me if you can't let your guy have females friends that says your insecure and you don't trust him and if you don't trust your partner why be with them ?! . As long as I know who this friend is and I don't get no funny vibe or see or hear some shit then I'm cool. I'm not saying go chill together !! But I'm cool with the small talks and etc . II have male friends 2 of my life long bestfriends are males . I don't trust when there's a reason not to trust not just off the rip
Exactly, idk where their minds be at but it's fine he shall see when the tables are turned and I'm doing and saying the things he says @belly1996
Especially in a time like this cause not only are you blessed to have ME but I'm carrying your child ya know
Exactly and then they turn around and get mad at you for not trusting them when you're not around like are you. slow or what?! what do you expect @belly1996
Yah my bf had said that to me too, when we don't have sex he says he's mad at himself because he could do the easy thing nd just go cheat.... nd it's like I don't know how you think that's gona make me trust you.
Yea me either, people of the opposite sex don't always have good intentions or respect for your relationship. But he doesn't get that and he likes to point out how he could easily cheat but he tells me as long as I'm carrying his child I better not try it or he'll kill me, I'm sick of it you're not the only one getting attention@starshinepearl
tell him the same that you have someone to talk to, that it's cool to,.....and I don't believe in friends when you have a relationship, I would think the same to, that's very weird he didn't tell you before
Yea he has these little episodes where he leaves the house after we fight and he'll be gone for hours saying he needs to cool off instead of talking things out. I'm sure the reverse psychology wouldn't even work with him and frankly I feel like he's said enough that's twice he's mentioned "what he could do" I thank you for your wonderful advice though it was greatly appreciated @nk you and @jeanetta25