here I am, 19 years old, with my first baby my precious little boy. who doesn't have a father because his father chose to not be around and to treat me like dirt on the ground no matter how many chances I gave him because he said he would improve himself as I would myself as well. and now I'm a single mom with no job.. barley a place to live and deep deep post partum depression to where I don't feel safe around my own self anymore.. I fell in love with someone who sold all my belonging so we had money for food, who always told me to shut the fuck up for crying and being emotional during my pregnacy, someone who looked and talked to other girls behind my back.. and now I'm just nothing and feel completely worthless in my own body and mind.. he said I pushed him away with my constant complaining and bitching but pregnant women get emotional.. and now I'm worried my own son will hate me just as much as his father because he did is choosing not to be around because of me.. I feel miserable.. everytime I look at my son I cry because he could of had a better life if I gave him up for adoption.. but his father wanted to keep him and to see and spoil him and now I'm stuck being a single mom.. with no friends while he goes out and parties and sees other girls.