If you guys adopted a child, would you eventually tell them when they get to that age they fully understand? I'm…
If you guys adopted a child, would you eventually tell them when they get to that age they fully understand? I'm watching this show "Long lost family" & she found out later out in life and she was hurt and felt like she wasn't wanted. It brings me back to my husband being adopted, I remember this one time he was drunk & was crying about it, saying he felt abandon. When we discussed adopting a child when I thought I couldn't carry our own child and I wasn't sure if I would tell that child he/she was adopted to avoid those feelings, anyways would you guys tell your adopted child?
Deleted user·
That's a really good question.. that i dont know the for sure answer to. Like even though i would know the right thing to do is to be honest with the child i think i would be one that doesn't tell. Because of the fear of how the child would react. Unless of course i adopt a child that is pretty aware of what is going on..
Sarah Ray·
I personally wouldn't hide the fact that their adopted. I was adopted and so were my two blood brothers we were all raised knowing we were adopted and that we were very much wanted it could break trust if they find out late in life
Monica·
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@floress_j, Im not sure what I would do also, everything is easier said than done. I just know how much it hurt my husband even though he knew since he was 10, still it's a hard situation. We still want to adopt even though we're having our own baby, it's something he always wanted to do.
Dawna·
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It's a tough situation for everyone involved. Personally I would probably let the child know at a very young age. I think if you find out as an adult you feel kind of betrayed and like you were lied to your whole life. But if the child grows up knowing where they came from and you make it a positive thing it may be a little easier on them. Like maybe celebrate their birthday AND their adoption day. And let them know some mommies can't have their babies and So other mommies have the baby for them. And of course always remind them how much they are loved and wanted.
Monica·
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@frankiesmama, My MNL told my husband at 10 & told him the situation and it was still hard for him, at one time he believed he wasn't wanted/loved and felt abandoned, I think it's different for every adoptee. When I finally asked her what was the story about him being adopted, the mother was 16 and knew she couldn't give him a good life and my mnl can't have kids so they were asked to adopt him and without hesitation did it. I still don't know if I would tell my adopted child but who knows maybe I will. I think it's a hard situation no matter what, a lot of what ifs come to mind.
Deleted user·
Exactly!!! Always easier said then done. I think that's awesome! I've thought about it before as well.. maybe in the future :)
Lauren·
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I would tell the child up front. I don't see any reason not to. I guess it depends on the circumstances. I hope to adopt in the future too!
gabriella·
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personally i would tell my son/daughter that they were adopted but i would also tell them that it doesnt mean they werent wanted that your birth mother just couldnt afford you and wanted you to have a better life and that she choose us to be your parents cause she knew that we would love and take care of you like i had given birth to you and knew that you wouldnt go without or ever question wether youd be loved or not. that you would be safe in our arms.