Haven't been feeling emotionally connected with my babies daddy. I'm living with him in his family home that includes mother, grandmother, aunt, uncle, 2 cousins.. I have gave him almost a year to move out, and now he hit me with the "I need to work too, to be able to move out" mind you my son is not even a month old. Not to mention that yesterday I went to the hospital, and he said he couldn't call off work... He also left me while I was in labour for a day to go home and "rest" He says he provides for me and my son... YET I'm still living in a unhappy place... No food in the fridge, and he now refuses to buy clothes for my son because he has "enough" Also he and his mother have a weird relationship.. She controls him basically, and calls him babe... I gave him back the engagement ring.. And I'm thinking about seeking help at a single mothers organization... I'm unhappy, and just because I have a child doesn't mean I should be stuck in a place I don't want to be, and I feel like sticking in a place were it isn't working out, but staying there to form a "family" is more harming than being separated and happy.
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@aidensmommy, yah it's bullshit. He makes enough. If I start working I'll end up making minimum wage and have to pay all the money I make on a babysitter that will not take care of my baby like me
oh girl, now I understand! I get that. when I first moved in with my SO, we lived at his mom's house. there was 13 of us living in a two bedroom. they made the small ass laundry room our room with a twin size bed. it was so uncomfortable. there were so many people. and like you said, the walls were thin. maybe it's time for him to grow up then. it took my boyfriend 2 weeks to realize he was having a baby and needed to grow up.
@aidensmommy, @michaelsmommy @kattastrophe my babies dad works for lausd. He makes from 1600-1800 every 2 weeks. I don't think money is the issue. I think he's a grown ass 28 yr old man who doesn't wanna leave his mom side, and the convenience of living at home, because his mom charges him only 300 for us 3. The walls are thin as hell. I can hear the other people talking on the phone from our room. I do receive wic for formula... If he wants to make me his wife, and him be a husband then we need to move out. I'm a grown ass woman who won't even be able to make love to my supposedly husband because people will hear. No privacy either. Someone is ALWAYS at the house, and on the weekends his other aunt and cousin spend the weekend there too. So it's a FULL house.
@michaelsmommy, there are so many more opportunities in other places, it's crazy!! my SO worked on an oil rig about 10 years ago
@Kattastrophe, Ugh you guys got so lucky!!! We pay 1300/month for a 2 bedroom apartment in a not so great area AND we had to pay first months rent with deposit 😓 3000+!!! Idk how we get by each month. HATE seeing husband stressing over money. thankfully I'm in the process of getting a background check to start my new job! Me and my hubby already talked about it and as soon a gas prices go up, he's apply for the oil rigs in Texas and hopefully will move!!!
@michaelsmommy, @aidensmommy exactly why I wish I could bring myself to leave cali, I fortunately have a 2 br apartment in a pretty great place for $1000/month and my SO makes $15/hr so I don't have to work, and we can scrape by. normally the agency wanted proof of an income that could provide 3 months rent at the start plus a deposit of $1500, but my SOs boss knew the people and pulled some strings for us. I recommend you guys consider moving out of state if money and living situation is killing your relationship
@aidensmommy, I agree! Especially living in California. Living cost is so expensive! But at the end of the day do what you feel is right for you and your son! If money is tight have you looked into getting help from the government? Like food stamps or wic? A little help can make a big difference
if he doesn't have a good job, you shouldn't expect much. My boyfriend was working at Walmart for $10.40 an hour. That's nothing compared to how expensive these apartments are here. he lives with his dad and I live with my grandpa. he was planning on getting a second job so I wouldn't have to work. but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and looking for a job because I don't want all the stress to be on him. I mean, he wants to go to school to get his career set so I don't have to work. but right now, I know he needs my help.
If you're not happy, then leave try finding somewhere else to stay. as long as its safe for the baby. But if you feel like it could work out, then try to fix things. But like I said, if he's working minimum wage, don't expect to get your own place with him doing it alone. Because you need first and last month's rent, a deposit, pg&e, cable/WiFi if that's what you want, plus furniture and kitchen appliances. my friend has 3 jobs just so she can get by.
I loved my MIL, and would live with her today if she hadn't passed! Some peoples moms are just awful, not all should get a bad rep. Besides, most of the world lives with extended family, that shouldn't break the relationship...this sounds like your babys dad is just not stepping up....Like clothes is one thing, my husband doesnt want to buy hella clothes, but hospital visits and stuff...like at least act like you CARE. If you feel held back or like this is the wrong path then you should look into your options. There lots of helping situations for single moms!
i literallt started crying reading your message! i really wish i could help you! i wish you the besy beingg happy for you and your baby! trust me they know if youre happy or not! my soon to be MIL lives next door and can be pretty controlling at times. needless to say i would never ever live would her! im sorry you arent feeling anything towards your babies father. i felt that way when my son was about 3-4 weeks old then it just went away.
You should do what you feel is right for you and your baby. Whatever will make you happy. It's not good to be in an unhappy relationship just because you have a baby. Baby needs a happy environment around him and needs his momma to be happy 😊
I hear u n living with in laws or just ppl in general is a relationship break alone you guys need ur space n privacy if he doesn't understand stand or care to see were ur coming from then do what makes u happy maybe that'll wake him up hey I did it n made my point I wasn't haven it n he woke up n changed things it's OK to be happy hunny it's either ment too be or its not but ur baby comes first just really think about it ull do great either way n ur human it'll be ok
Fuuuuuck no! He either needs to get his damn life or lose his family! That is absolutely ridiculous , are u kidding me ? 😒 u deserve a chance at ur own damn family !! With ur OWN home !! Wth