My child's father and I have not been together for some months now, we were still all great and everything up until a few weeks ago. He has not bought a single thing for baby, will not go to L&d Classes, won't go to any appointments, and believes that baby doesn't matter or need anything from him until he is physically here. I'm a little over 33 weeks pregnant and don't want to do anything out of anger, but he just won't step up. He asked me to call him when I'm in labor but I'm not sure I even want to because of his attitude. Help :/ I love him to death but there needs to be a breaking point.
I'm in the same position my baby's father left when I was 2 months pregnant and now that I'm 37 weeks he wants to be involve but then yet he doesn't have time to talk to me and hasn't been involve in my pregnancy at all! Me personally I'm not letting him be part of the birth! Why should a man have the title of being a father when they should of been their from the beginning! Sometimes you just need to be strong and just say no!
I was going to say what @ryansmommy0515 said...men don't really feel like fathers until the baby is here, (some anyway)...I honestly don't feel how he's being now is any indicator of how he'll be when baby is here, me personally I would let him come to the birth
I don't completely understand your situation, but if he wants to be at the birth, he should step up now. There is no reason he should get to be at the birth when all he's doing is being a jerk now--he'll act the same way when you're in labor and it will be more stressful. But I can totally see what @ryansmommy0515 said about a father being born when the child is born because my husband is similar in the way the father of your child was with having to force him to feel baby, my husband never does it on his own and I always have to bring up the topic and whatnot, but I think that's just a dude thing sometimes. But he does need to show some interest and start trying now. My husband is super excited for our son and I can feel that he is whether he shows it or not, and I think every woman should just KNOW that the father of their child is excited and feel that from them.
I want him there because I believe no one should miss that, in my opinion it changes your life. but to be as childish as he's being is too much. it's like pulling teeth to get him to communicate about baby. and he tells me all the time "I take my child very seriously." but.... hasn't actually done anything to prove to me that he takes him seriously
i read somewhere when i was pregnant that a mother is born the moment she finds out she is pregnant and a father is born the moment the baby is born. Because you guys aren't together he probably doesn't feel he needs to be as involved as if he was with you. with that being said you don't have to have him at the birth. It is your choice at the end best of luck hunny
I'm just trying to do right by everyone. and I truly believe if I tell him I don't want him around he won't take a second thought and just not be around roman. I honestly believe he doesn't care.
the thing is he never wanted to involve himself. it's always like I had to pull his leg to convince him to touch him or talk to him or come to an appointment. he was going to actually enlist in the marine corps and we were going to get married then he completely did a 180. I just don't understand. simple communication could fix so many things but he just ignores me when I try to speak to him. I'm the most mad at the fact that he runs around spending money on petty stuff. he bought $50 on jewelry for someone via his amazon account, I got a shipping text about it yesterday. but won't buy ONE THING for his son. not one thing.
I'm in the same position as you. He doesn't care to talk. He's a marine and right now getting ready to leave. You would think he would want or at least try to be even more involved since he'll miss her birth... He thinks the same way. That since she's not here yet that he doesn't need to be around or in constant contact. I've learned to let it go. Can't change a man's mind. He's shown interest in the past that was touching but the fact that he's leaving bugs him more than he likes to share so he distants himself so he doesn't have to feel bad. Well when she's born he's going to be all sentimental and begging to see her. Since the moment I found out I was pregnant I kept him involved, and we aren't together either. It seemed like we were kinda trying the last few months but idk. I have other things to worry about then his bs. So until she's born im not going to worry about him. And you shouldn't worry too much about him either. Men want to act all tough and understandably aren't connected to the child like we are (yet). They handle things differently. So right now, it's on them. At least we gave them chances so they have no one to blame but themselves. That's how I see it. Sucks but we got more important things to focus on.