ppd is not something to mess with. i got it really bad with my first and i swear it never really went away, now im due to have my second in 6 weeks and im struggling so bad. i have thoughts of not wanting my fiance, i dont want to kiss him or anything, my toddler must annoys the piss out of me. i see no happiness in being a mom, why did i do this again? all i want to do is get this baby out of me and leave everything behind. I'm already on anti depressants and it helps for a little bit then I'm a mess again. dear god. im 2 seconds away from checking myself into the mental hospital