Okay....update Ny doctor just came in and spoke with me. My white cell count is elevated from yesterday, indicating the…

Okay....update

Ny doctor just came in and spoke with me. My white cell count is elevated from yesterday, indicating the beginning of infection , or high levels of stress. Or both. They are monitoring me. The mag sulfate CAN be stopped at 8 PM tonight. However, I know the risk of that happening. I can choose to keep it till 8 AM or let it be done at 8 PM tonight. I am choosing to keep it....I want my baby to be as healthy as he can, even if it means suffering through hell for another 12 hours. He is worth it. Once the mag stops, no more meds used to stop labor will be given. My body will once again take over and do what it knows it needs to do, which is go into active labor again. So, Im preparing for tomorrow to be the big day. Am I ready? No. Am I scared? Im terrified. Even though he is out of the actual danger zone...even though he isnt super tiny (hes measuring 4 lb 12 oz), he is still tiny and not even ready yet....Im scared that the stress from labor will be too much on him. Anything could happen. But ultimately , I know GOD has got this and it's literally out of my hands. "Which of you by worrying can add a single day to his life"? Jesus said it best when he said numerous times in the Bible Dont Worry.I need my baby to just be surrounded by angels and for him to be okay. Thats all I care about. He means so much to me, everything to me, already. I will be by his side as much as humanly possible . Leaving him will be the absolute hardest part. It will be like leaving my heart behind and walking away. How can I even do that ?? With my other preemie son, he was never in the NICU. He came home right away. Only a miracle would allow that to happen this time....but miracles happen. Matter of fact, HE in himself is a miracle. I need to get it together and have more faith now than ever.