it's hard but dont. I stopped texting the boys "dad" back. I didn't text, facebook, nothing it took a few weeks but he finally got the hint.

@twinmamma2015, Okay that's why exactly what I'll try to do its just so hard to stop communicating with him. Idk what to do when he texts me its like I'm forced to text back.

I wouldn't let him know that, but when you set up visitation (if you decide to) you set the rules and don't ever let him come over empty handed. make him go to the store and get something she needs, diapers, formula, nursery water, wipes. no fun stuff no clothes, or toys. just "maintenance" stuff. don't let him give you money for it, make him go get it. he'll get tired of it and not want to see her often cuz he always has to go get stuff. and if he says he was broke and couldn't then cut the visit short n tell him well I gotta go get "item" cuz she needs it and you didn't get it. I do it to their "dad" however we did a list every 2 weeks, he gets diapers formula (2 different kinds cuz they're on different kinds) lotion, coconut oil, he has about 10 items every 2 weeks. but put your foot down and be firm about it. if yall aren't together now then I'd stop talking to him, don't tell him anything. don't tell him when you have her either.

Okay basically I looked some stuff up because we aren't married the courts will favor the mother, and he really wont have any say so or visitation unless I allow it or it's court ruled if he can prove that she's in danger or I'm unfit which will never happen. @twinmamma2015

definitely cuz every state is different but again knowing what laws are on your side make it easier to lay down the guidelines and stick to them. It almost gives you piece of mind. I know with the documentation I have he will never get unsupervised visits. he doesn't know I've got stuff from when we dated over a year ago (thank God for old texts!) but knowing if it went to court it would go in my favor makes it easier to tell him no.

@twinmamma2015 Okay, I'm going to have to see if that applies here in Michigan if it does that would be greaaaaat 😩

no I got it cuz were not married. if he was on the birth certificates all that does is establish a relationship with them, does not give him any rights. I could put anyone on there, it doesn't mean anything

Yeah, you have to pay for l&d here. Were you given full custody because he's not on the birth certificate?

well in the state I'm in I automatically get sole custody. if he wants visitation he has to take me to court first and that's a long process cuz here in Tennessee he has to do a DNA test on both boys, then he has to do child support, then custody. and just cuz he pays child support doesn't mean I have to let him see them. if he decides to do this then he is already 5 months behind cuz they go from the day they're born, and some states even have them pay on the hospital bill from L&D

Ok thank you and thats my only problem out of anger i slip and say things, I'm going to learn to control it and hopefully get a new number by the end of this week. I would have changed it tonight, but I'm expecting an important call. How did you get sole custody? Did he ever try to fight for shared custody? I have a feeling he's been documenting some of the things I've been saying. I've been doing the same and he doesn't know about it. @twinmamma2015

I know the feeling hun! Definitely see what laws are on your side. like I know here in Tennessee I don't have to let him see the boys. I'm being nice and letting him. But legally I don't have to let him. I have sole custody of them and he has no say in anything. So definitely look into the laws, knowing them will help you set guidelines and boundaries and you'll feel better sticking to them and not letting him get away with things because you have laws on your side. does that make sense. like I don't care if he gets mad. if he does then he just doesn't come back. Also document everything he says, text only no phone. keep records of everything he says and does, be careful what you say back to him. keep records and even receipts for things you buy even if it's $1 if it's for her then keep it in your records. I have records of everything I've gotten, everything he has gotten them. I also have a notebook of things he says and does. things he's said on Facebook, things his family has said, I keep track of he's late, no call no show etc. and he has no idea I do this. I play dumb. I hope that makes sense. if you ever need to vent though I'm here

@twinmamma2015, ok I'm going to look deeper into it ugh this is so stressful I never thought I'd go through this.

Should be your parents she would go to next. But I'd look into it.

@twinmamma2015, Ok I'm going to look into that. Let's say they did find me unfit which they shouldn't who would be next in line to get her considering we aren't married?

look into your state laws. and it is hard but your baby is number one. it's easy to put your foot down when it comes to them. Most states are for the mom, they wouldn't take her from you unless there was a reason to like she was in danger.

You make it sound easy he's not that understanding he declines me every time i say something like that. I want my baby, but sometimes its to stressful and I don't want to go through this.. I feel like I have to get away in order to get over it. He seems as if he wants to take her away from me. @twinmamma2015

tell him he can see her at your place. My boys will never go with their dad. He has anger issues and all sorts of other things so I told him that he can see them at my house, he comes every Wednesday from 12 to 2. their babies so they need naps n stuff. and he gets every other Sunday. That way everything they need is here, and I can supervise him.

Well from my situation i don't think he can handle it. Throughout my 6 months of being pregnant he's done nothing but stressed me out, caused me to bleed 3 times. Doesn't check on me or her isn't prepared for her but he did finally get a job, before we broke up I was handling most of the important things where I'm from it may sound funny but men where I'm from prefer for other females to change their daughters and wash them up , yet he's trying to be alone thats her dad but I don't trust it still. Its new to both of us too many stories are going on about people getting frustrated with kids doing harm to them, I'm already over protective I just don't trust it. Not saying his family will harm her but they all HATE ME. I'm not comfortable at all! I want her to see him but I just want to feel worry free and safe. @missytoyou @samielynnrambeau @jesjeslovesyou @twinmamma2015

If something happened to me in labor I'm sure my bf could. But I only know that because he has been a huge help since I've been sick. He is 19

Yes she does not need to be away from you as a newborn he can't come where you are my x thought the same about my oldest daughter umm no sir plus I breast fed n like you said you don't know who he will have around

That's like saying can a 19 year old girl handle the baby by herself.

Forget his age, is he mature enough to handle her? That's the question. Him being 19 has nothing to do with anything.

then don't let him. if your not comfortable with it then dont. seriously trust your instincts. and if he doesn't like it just say well right now, wherever she goes, I go. that's what I told their "dad" I said if they go anywhere I go to. no need to explain why, just their babies and they need their mama, that's all. so again if your not ok with it then dont.

@twinmamma2015, Exactly and I think if he moves into his own place he can't handle it alone ...

I don't think so ... Its new to both of us and he wants to be alone with her and thinks she's going to be spending the nights at his house alone while shes a newborn. I don't trust him I don't know who he gone have at his house or anything. If she has a rash I'm sure he's going to be uncomfortable rubbing cream near her vagina, I think he should stay with his mom until shes a few months like I'm doing before I move out. @missytoyou

I think if he really wants to than he can.

depends on the guy. my boys "dad" is 22 and can't even take care of a dog, and when he tried to change the boys he was fumbling and didn't wipe them good, and when he put one of them in their swing he buckled his lil tummy n gave him a bruise. HOW EVER my brothers were young dad's and did great. every guy is different if your not sure trust your instincts, mama knows best

The question is do you think he is?

Yes

yes age has nothing to do with it