I’m sorry that all of this is happening to you. I pray that you will be able to win the case. You were making sure you got away from him so you could protect yourself and your children. It’s not your fault. Is there a way to speak to another lawyer and see what you can do?

@verguinia, you are right that is something I have to work on! Thank god it isn’t hurting me as much as it did when I was in my teens and 20’s.

I was just remembering how one of those girls tried to be my friend about 10 years ago but I didn’t trust that. It made me think of the movie Carrie lol like we’re they planning on inviting me to a party to trap me there or something lol. The girl didn’t give me problems exactly but she is friends with all of the bullies I had problems with so I just didn’t trust that. I figured it was better that I kept my distance. I don’t have contact with anyone that I knew from junior high. They bring up a lot of the past and it’s strange but it’s like you think you know a person but you don’t. They knew me since elementary school but they never actually really knew my personality. All they cared about was bullying but they didn’t know me as a person just my name, where I lived and what I looked like. It’s strange when I think about it. It’s like I am a shadow of a figure to them. An imagine but without real meaning.

@verguinia, people sometimes cannot believe someone can go through something so bad. I used to think was I around in another life time and did something bad back then to get karma now lol. No but I used to hear some hurtful comments from people like when I went through sexual abuse the girls I went to junior high didn’t want to believe it because the popular guy was their friend. One of the most hurtful comments was oh well he didn’t attack me so I don’t believe you. What they don’t understand is that rapists actually have preferences which would be a big shock to them like maybe I was an easy target when I was skinny. Or maybe I was his type and they weren’t? Things like that I don’t have the answers for but it’s things like that would make me nervous coming out to reach out to people if I did a book. I would feel like too many people wouldn’t believe because of the backlash I got in person growing up. I was an automatic liar to them because he didn’t attack them so that was very hurtful. Many girls around me that time weren’t supportive at all but I think they had issues because a lot of those girls who tried to be popular, they had boyfriends that were pedophiles and they didn’t even think or know what they getting were into. These girls were like 13 and 14, going out with guys that were in their 20’s and nobody saw that as wrong. They saw it as cool. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So while I got made fun of, I’m glad In a way it happened because at least I feel wise and smart about things and I’m not brainless like them. I’m not perfect but I wouldn’t try to live the lifestyle they do because they think it’s cool. They can stay popular if they want but I like to be aware of my surroundings and make better choices than they do. They probably have their children hang around people like that which is sad but they aren’t all up there to really understand what’s going on. They are still very immature people stuck in their teenage years while in their 30’s.

@verguinia, you know it’s funny that you mention that. I actually thought about that and if I write one about my experience dealing with bullying when I was 12 and up. I feel like it’s so crazy that it could be a drama series or something. The only thing is I feel a bit sensitive like I don’t think I would handle the negative feedback well. 😆Some people probably wouldn’t want to believe it so if I ever wrote a book about it I wouldn’t know if I do an Autobiography or if I make a story about a character and mention the things I went through without saying that I went through it but I don’t think I would have the energy and time for that lol. That would be exaughsting.

@verguinia, what? Your mom is on your ex’s side? Why? That is not fair. I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve to have someone there for you to help you out and support you to hear you out. It’s a shame that your mother is listening to him. 😤

Yeah thank god my mother and I fought for my father because his other children tried to kill him twice. It’s crazy but true. 8 years ago one of my half brothers was on vacation with my father and my fathers best friend. My second oldest half brother tried to push our father out of the window and thank god my fathers best friend was there to stop that. My half brother is very dangerous and has many mental illness one of them being schizophrenia. He’s very violent. My father and his friend came back from that trip telling my mother and I that crazy scary situation.

The second incident is my oldest half brother who was hoping that my pet cat got rabies when he let her interact with street cats. It’s a long story but he lived with my father for a short time so my pet cat stayed with them at our old house while I moved to this apartment with my mom and son. No pets were allowed at the time so she stayed with them. So I never let her go outside to interact with other animals. Anyway my oldest half brother tried that but his plan didn’t work thank god. My father did get very sick though from his plan. My fathers hand got swollen when my cat bit him that time and he had to go to the hospital. About a week and a half later we believe he had a stroke. We don’t know all of the details. At that time my half brother made him sign papers and made my father put him on a joint account so he was taking out money from my fathers bank accounts while my father wasn’t mentally well anymore. That oldest half brother is a criminal. He goes in and out of jail all the time for theft. If my mom and I didn’t intervene on time, my father would have already been dead and they would have taken our old house and fought for this apartment. Those people are in humane. We lost our old house but thank god the court took over it and that nobody from that other side got it. Sorry for the long story lol.

@verguinia, thank you. I am also sorry that you have to deal with this mess. That is the scary thing. A bad person will always have people that look up to them. They know how to make a good impression and behave in front of certain people. It’s like they have a mask on and a different personality. They are giving people different sides of them which is scary. That’s how people get tricked. That is how your ex seems to be getting the upper hand but I pray that you will be able to win! 🤞🏻🙏🏻

With my situation I felt like everyone only listens to my fathers ex wife and kids because they make a scene in public, cry so they look like the victims but they aren’t mentally well. They only care to fight to take my fathers money away from him. They are vicious but the court only saw them as his other children wanting to spend time with him. Unfortunately they played off the victim game well. We had a guardianship proceeding that I didn’t want to get involved with but they involved me anyway because they thought that I have my fathers money and all kinds of crazy stuff. My mom won the case so that was wonderful because I thought she was gonna lose. They are mad that they couldn’t take over the old house we had or get my fathers money. They don’t care for him, they just want something for themselves. The guardian wasn’t doing a good job or really listening to us but thank god I have someone from the court who is above the guardian and checks up on us to see if he is doing his job. If he isn’t then they can replace him with someone else. I felt like that guy was an angel sent to us because he seems to be the only other person besides the lawyer who listens to us and sees how problematic the other family is. It’s a shame that he wasn’t around 2 years ago when everything started but I’m glad that he helps us now. My fathers other kids were trying to see him during this pandemic acting like if we have him held hostage but the guy from the court told the guardian that they will absolutely not come here and put my father at risk so thank god we avoided that mess for now.

Im sorry that you’re going through this. *Big hugs*

@verguinia, I hope your therapy sessions will work out and will help you! ❤️ Defamation of character would help you to try suing him even though I know that’s not what you are looking for right now. In a way it would be good to screw him over if you were able to sue him but the problem is defamation of character is also a bit hard to prove as well.

I hate court. I remember when I had to keep going to court in 2018 against my fathers ex wife. That crazy woman kept trying to sue me so my lawyer tried to do defamation of character against her. I didn’t get to win any lawsuits yet but every time my lawyer threatened to sue her she would dismiss the case. She did about 12 cases against my mother and I for about a year and kept harassing us with her grown children who are in their 50’s. My half siblings are crazy just like their mother. The last court case they tried against me, my lawyer got sick of them and threatened to sue them for $50,000 dollars. She got scared and said that she will not bother me anymore lol. I don’t trust her that woman though because she is nuts but the good thing is the court has all that proof now of her using the courts to harass me, ruin my reputation and spread false accusations about me. The next time she tries to sue me again I most likely will be able to win and get money from her. I hope I don’t have to deal with her ever again but I know that is highly unlikely. Sometimes people like that need to learn a lesson. I believe one day she will have to pay me thousands of dollars then maybe she will stop for good. The last case she did against me was in the end of 2018. Thank god everything has been peaceful for now but her children are dying to see my father and they keep complaining because it isn’t happening. I’m sure I can see a lawsuit coming but I feel good because the lawyer said that they will lose since my father is old. He is 84 so the risk of him catching Covid is more important to worry about than their visitation.

im not sure how much proof you really need i mean u didn't do anything illegal there was no custody agreement b4 so you didn't break that you just got you and thre kids to safety a lot of it I'm sure is scare tactics.

im sorry to hear that that's really shitty he should present it no matter what most of the times mental abuse cannot be proven. do you have any old messages from him or anything? is the oldest girl going to br involved ar all? they would likely talk to her as well to see what she has witnessed in her lifetime.

@verguinia, aw man that sucks. I hope that the judge doesn’t listen to your ex only. Is there anything that could be helpful for the lawyer? That isn’t fair that he is dismissing everything you tell him. I’m sure you didn’t have the time to see a psychologist to prove mental abuse because you were making sure that you and your children were safe and would have a place to move to. Is there a way you can have a case against him for defamation of character? Since he is ruining your reputation and claiming that you are a certain way with your kids just so he can pretend to be the good guy. Did you get a restraining order against him before?

I’m sorry that all of this is happening to you. I pray that you will be able to win the case. You were making sure you got away from him so you could protect yourself and your children. It’s not your fault. Is there a way to speak to another lawyer and see what you can do?