AUTISM MAMAS!!!So my son has not been diagnosed yet, but my heart just knows. Well a friend of mine, baby daddy lets name him(john) has a son with someone else..and he has autism. She found out she having a boy and she went to speak to a genetics doctor, I know it was not her intention. But she said I'm relieved, the doctor broke down the whole autism for me and told me the moms are the carriers of the autism gene if their boys. So John's baby mama is the carrier of the autism makeup. She said I'm so relieved baby boy is super healthy. Brain,heart,spine all check out normal! I'm so relieved. I dont know why. But that got to me, she knows my struggles with having to wait to diagnose my son...and when she said the mom is one that Carry the autism gene for boys..it broke me. Now I have a chip on my shoulder, and I cant stop googling if I'm the one that could have son giving my son autism. Like I said she meant well, I just couldn't help it but feel like shit...when she texted me the gender along with the info about autism. This sucks and I feel terrible.. any advice would gladly help!!!
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I will admit that an ASD diagnosis can be scary in the beginning. There's just so much information to take in, it's overwhelming, and the fear and worry of the unknown can be debilitating. It's perfectly normal for parents to go through a kind of "mourning" phase when they're first starting on their autism journey.
But please know that autism isn't anyone's fault, you're certainly not to blame and either is your son.
A lot of the time parents mourn the loss of the "typical" child that they pictured in their heads, the sooner parents recognize that the "typical" child never existed to begin with, the better it is for both the child and for the parents.
Please remember that your son is exactly who he was meant to be, wishing for him to be someone other than the person he is, won't do him or you any good.
Besides if you ask most autistics, if there was ever an opportunity for them to "cure" their autism, would they want to?. An overwhelming majority of autistics answer no, that they wouldn't want to be "cured"
A mother's goal for her children is to raise them knowing that they are loved, and to give them enough life skills and experiences so that when her children are grown, they are happy and the best versions of themselves that they can be. Autism doesn't change any of that.
I promise you, that you and your son will find your way. Everything is going to be ok.
My daughter is autistic, and she definitely got the autism gene from me if there is such a thing it definitely doesn't just affect boys. Since my maternal grandmother, mother, 2 maternal aunts, a maternal uncle, 3 cousins 1 nephew etc etc etc are all autistic
Honestly it doesn't bother me at all, if it's my genetic makeup that carries an autism gene. It's not like I chose my genetics.
And since I was raised by an autistic and surrounded by multiple autistics all of my life, I know that just because someone is autistic that doesn't automatically predestine them to having a horrible life and not being functioning members of society.
For example my mother married a wonderful loving man (my father) gave birth to 2 lovely daughters, and has a fulfilling career as a nurse. My grandmother was married for 78 years (she died when she was 102) had 10 children and was a school teacher. My uncle is married with 2 children and is a police officer. Both of one of my neurotypical cousin's children are autistic and they're both in college, living independently and have jobs. etc etc.
My son is 3. He was diagnosed with moderate autism on October 25th of last year(that date is permanently seared into my brain 😞) there’s no for sure cause of autism. Yes genetic testing CAN be done in fact myself, my son and his dad are going to get the testing done because I want to know. I feel like I need to know. I want to say what she said about moms being the carriers for boys doesn’t sound quite right but again they don’t know for sure what causes autism and it’s different in every child. I know deep in my heart my son has been autistic since the moment he was born and we just didn’t know. And not knowing until right before he turned 3 kills me. I think back to when he was a baby and think “that all makes sense now...” it hurts me so much because I wish I would have known sooner how to properly do things with him instead of thinking he was just a child with bad behavior problems. It’s not your fault mama whether this is genetic and you were the carrier for the genetic disorder it’s still not your fault. You can’t help your genetics. Just love him, support him in everything. Speech is super easy! What we do for speech is when he’s playing, example: when he’s jumping we say “Noah are you jumping? Jumping! Jumping is fun! What are you jumping on? Are you jumping on your trampoline?” And we jump with him and explain that we are jumping with Noah “mommy is jumping on the floor with Noah!” Just things like that. Also if you need ANYTHING any advice for speech, behavior, aba, anything! We’ve done all the early intervention programs and graduated already. My inbox is open if you need help or just someone to talk to. It’s rough but we were made to be their moms for a reason. You got this mama 💕
I’m starting the steps to getting an evaluation and Appointment. My daughter hasn’t been diagnosed yet but we are pretty sure....
So many things have just been running through my mind all day... feeling my heart break over and over.
I don’t have a very good family support group so it just feels like I’m all alone.
🙈😭😭
@imakittykat I completly understand you, althought people are sympathetic. They dont understand how I feel as a mother, my son hasn't been diagnosed yet. But i have found so much support from here. You can always reach out to me as well..
@lezlie527, thank you, it’s been a rough few days. I can’t stop blaming myself because my dad has to Autistic brothers and his daughter. (Different moms same dad)
I’m so scared that my daughter will be on the low functioning end she refuses social interaction, she’s not speaking or walking yet and she doesn’t look where you point
I researched and every thing is different.. no forsure answer. And yes my son is early intervention and in speech both done via facetime as well. He was improving so much, up until the whole pandemic where they cant come to my home or I cant take him to speech therapy. Hes doing new thing here and there and I had gotten his approval to get him evaluated, but I held off because the pandemic had just started and i thought it would blow over before they expired. So I made a lot of calls and I'm getting him re-approved soon.. her words just stabbed me in the heart tho. Felt like it was my fault, I'll keep trying not to be hard on myself. On just worry about getting him all the help he needs. Thank you!! So much and so glad your baby boy has an appointment soon. He will keep improving. Theirs nothing us mamas will not do for our babies. Thank you for your kind words..
@watz I would be lying if I didnt held off my sons referrals because I'm scared. The more I talk about it the more real it becomes..and it breaks my heart even more. I'm trying my best, and I know I will need to get myself together to be better for my son. I've researched so much and their no actual answer as to what causes autism. And when my friend said that the mom is the carrier for boys. It made me feel so guilty! I'm okay now and just trying not to think about it right now.
Thank you for always responding to all my post about autism..I'm truly grateful. I think their a mom that might need some kind words..if you could maybe lend a helping hand like you did for me. @imakittykat