Anyone have info on divorce & custody? Where do you go to file for a divorce? There’s all this info on attorneys or lawyers or mediators. I don’t even know where to begin. I live in California and I’m also wondering how custody plays out. I have just one child, a sweet 4 year old. My assumption will be split custody but I don’t know how much I can fight for (or not fight for). Any insight would be great mommas
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But yes, if you can, I would suggest trying to settle this outside of court. Court itself is emotionally draining for me. But my ex has always been a problem, especially with our daughter.. so I had to do what I thought was best for me and her.. The judge asked us to do mediation, so we’re waiting on that for now.
Sorry to hear you are going through this💕 If you can come to
mutual agreement you guys can file without a lawyer if you can't afford it. You'll likely have to do mediation for custody but if you guys can come a agreement ahead of time that would be better
Divorce and custody is different for every state and every family.
Your best bet is to consult with two or three local attorneys and then hire whichever one fits your needs.
Most states are following the shared responsibility (aka custody) model where both parents have 50/50 or something close to that as long as drugs, alcohol, or violence against the child haven't come into play. If you're going to say your ex is one of those you better have solid proof. also DO NOT leave the shared home or give any extended amount of visitation until you have a temporary order done by an attorney. Be flexible with the ex and willing to do what is best for your child. If your ex wants to play dirty let them and do not retaliate, family courts can see right through them. Finally keep all communication with the ex in writing ( text or email) so you have proof of what's being said.
Thank you so much for this, I wanted to be civil and co-parent for the sake of our sons well being but it seems like that won’t happen. My husband doesn’t want to divorce but he’s also not changing. He’s emotionally abusive, controlling and headstrong about everything. We both work good jobs, and he’s overly business professional but as it’s sunken in for him that I want a divorce he’s been more aggressive towards me and extra overprotective of our son. I don’t want to make any mistakes on my end that could make my custody less. I’m primary caretaker bc I work from home and take care of all the appointments and generally everything. But he treats me like I don’t exist, or know what’s good for our son. It’s been hard dealing with it and I just want a clear mind and be strong enough for what’s to come
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My ex boyfriend was the same. But his emotional abuse got too much, so I went to the self help center here (I live in the Bay Area) and they helped me file a temp restraining order, and was granted full custody/ no visitations from dad until our hearing. It’s hard. Him and his family lawyered up, so I’ve been having anxiety over that. Right now, I’m just doing it on my own/ no lawyer.. but I’ve been consulting with a few to see how I could benefit from a lawyer or if they have any advices.