ladyfreyja
Andy
My husband sucks, just because he works 7 days a week now because it's summer he does not want to go to a concert we we're invited to over a month ago. We never do ANYTHING with other people. The whole 7 years we have been together I can count on one hand how many times we have done something with friends. I hate that he is so lazy and acts his old age. He thinks because he works he does not have to do anything else. Then I asked if I could go and he still said no because then he would have to watch the kids. My friend then offered to pay for a sitter. Still said no. He said he might as well go out and do something by himself tonight and leave me home with the kids before he lets me go with them. Says I get more time to myself then he does, god I hate how he always compares everything. Like he does this more and I don't do this, like work. Yes I do work, I take care of our children and the house. I want a life again, and do stuff like most people do. I'm sick if being home and just running errands. Ok no one get mad because letting off steam, thanks
4.9 года
5
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@ladyfreyja, this isn’t healthy sis.
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This isn’t healthy dear. Find a women’s shelter. Pack the kids up go there. Apply for emergency custody, spousal support, and divorce. The spousal support is because he is manipulating you to make sure you can’t work, in this way he is forcing you to depend on him for everything.
My husband is the only one who works outside the home. I have a debit card to our joint account. No I don’t make the money but I am the one who spends it to get groceries, clothes for the family, coffee when I want, gas for my gas guzzler suv. My husband may ask me not to go to events sometimes but other times I go alone or he goes alone. We all need a break sometimes. Adult connections are important to all humans mental and emotional health. If you are being secluded from your friends that is usually the start of getting you alone enough that an abuser can start physically abusing you.
You are being secluded, cut off from finances, and treated like a child. He is emotionally and mentally and financially abusing you. Next will be physical. At first it will be ‘oops I didn’t mean to slap you, but you shouldn’t have said/done that to make me angry.’ Then it’ll get worse ‘if you don’t do this I’m going to —— you!’ Then he’ll start hurting you whenever he feels like something is your fault.
Please get out and seek help immediately.
Well I do have a joint debit card to his account but I can't just go spend it without aaking
That's a form of manipulation. I would reconsider being with him. If he ever gives you money, or if you somehow get a job, then save up and leave.
So basically what it comes down to is he is all but hurt because it was all too last minute but he still did not want to go anyway. He said I'd I made arrangements weeks ago for child care then it might have happened. Ok I got child care last minute lol kill me. And again I asked him about concert a month ago or so. But never gave me an answer. I think he was hoping I would forget about it, Because he never want to do anything
I just have no where to go at the moment because I have no job and no family. Oh also my car is still needing to get fixed, and that will not be in the road much longer anyway, it's super old and breaks down constantly. He says if I get a job I can't use the family car because it already has tuns of miles on it. We just got it used a year ago. So I don't even know how I would use my car that constantly breaks down to get back and forth to a job. Shit I'm not even allowed to go to my friend's house with the family car, I'd have to use mine
@ladyfreyja you just say you are homeless.
@ladyfreyja,
@ladyfreyja, have you ever heard of financial abuse? It also seems like he is verbally/mentally abusing you. Reading your responses hurt my heart because that was me not too long ago. His behavior isn’t ok. And it is 100% abuse even though he doesn’t hit you.
It comes down to if this how you want to spend the rest of your life.If yes then you kind of can’t complain about it and if not then you have to do something to change it.
Exactly!
I agree
I would still go and leave him with the kids. He don't want to watch his own kids then he probably should have thought about that when breeding them.
EXACTLY
@ladyfreyja I get your dilemma though.
I don’t understand why your husband is dictating what you can and can’t do. You’re a grown ass women not a child
@ladyfreyja, nothing he stated is a valid reason. Your friend offered to pay for childcare. How can you tell your wife she has “too much me time”
@bigmama18 well he thinks because he works so much and pays for everything that he should be the one to go out and have time to himself and I should stay home with the kids instead of going out with friends to a concert for a few hours. So basically he should go enjoy himself and I should stay home. Our whole relationship makes no sense to me.
@ladyfreyja, I’m sorry you’re in this position. That’s so wrong.
Sounds like mine lmao 😂 we need to hang out leave them to sleep together and I don’t mean that literally
I know exactly what you mean lol
@ladyfreyja, this isn’t healthy sis.
Can you take the kids to the sitters house and have your friend pay so you can go. Or just say you're taking the kids out? I would lie and wouldn't even feel bad about it. He sounds miserable and insecure don't let him get you down.
@booknerdmama he says he would find a woman with a career and hire a maid
@ladyfreyja, Then tell him to go find one. Eff that. I’m assuming you have but have you had a serious conversation about how this is unacceptable and you’re not putting up with the b.s anymore?
@booknerdmama trying to talk to him is horrible. It never works, we always end up fighting. But he knows I hate it, but he has all the power over me because I have no money or family. Constantly tells me he's going kick me to the street or get me thrown out or that I need medication
Would he really go out tonight alone, why not with you. Go out to the concert, you deserve it! It's hard when you are ready and then don't understand that.
Yup. We can't go out alone without the kids, no sitter.
Go out enjoy yourself regardless of him. He made his decision to not go. That doesn't mean you don't have to go.
@deedeebrown0604 he doesn't give me money. I have to ask, and it's usually for coffee
@ladyfreyja, you lost me at “ALLOWED” to. Oh NO honey that ain’t it. You are grown, your own person and deserve to be happy and have some time for yourself. Not a healthy relationship, at all. I’d run real fast 🏃♀️
@kx2girlmommy he says I have enough time to myself during the week.