I need an opinion on if I’m being unreasonable. I’ll be 32 weeks on Saturday. Months ago my MIL…
I need an opinion on if I’m being unreasonable. I’ll be 32 weeks on Saturday. Months ago my MIL expressed that she would like to help us buy some of the new baby’s furniture. We never bought any with my son as we didn’t have the space where we were living. So my parents went ahead and bought the crib over a month ago because it was on sale. So I saw the other day that the dresser/ changing table is on sale right now and reached out to my MIL to let her know. Her response was that it’d be best to wait until about June 12-ish when my FIL gets paid to order it. It is only available online and the shipment process takes about 9 days which puts us at after June 20. I had my first a day shy of 38 weeks. I will be 38 weeks on June 22. For months she has said, “tell us when and I’ll give you the money for it”. I was assuming the money was already allocated for this. I’m panicking because my husband works two jobs meaning I’d be expected to put this dresser together at 38 weeks and then organize it. There’s no guarantee I could even do it before I go into labor. I’m someone who likes to plan ahead and have everything done. I don’t want to feel rushed or stressed before I have to give birth. Am I unreasonable for being completely annoyed by the entire situation? Btw June 22 is also when she originally wanted to have my SILs bridal shower and expected me to help and even show up. I get that she had scheduled c sections but that isn’t the case for me and it’s like there’s no regard for what my needs are at the end of this pregnancy.
Alyssa·
It’s frustrating when things seem to be going not as planned. Ugh. Is there any way you can order it and she can just give you the money on that date?
JenX·
Okay, here is my honest opinion. I think it is annoying, but I think if you make an issue about it, they may not offer to help with other things. They must truly not be able to swing it if they are willing to pay the non-sale price when he gets paid. I know it'll be stressful even if it doesn't get put together until after baby is here, but my honest opinion is that free and a bit late is better than buying it yourself. And I get that they should have planned ahead and dropped the ball. It is definitely annoying, but I don't know that I would make a issue out of it.
Mish·
@alyssa5792, Well that’s what I’m hoping to do. @jenx, totally didn’t even say a thing to her about it. I brought up the timeline to my husband and he told me to just pull the money from something else and order it. I think the main reason I’m so annoyed by it is because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. We lived with them for a while and they threw out a lot of our stuff that we were storing in their garage with the promise of buying new stuff and never did. The answer is always “oh we’ll give you the money for this and that” but it’s rare that it happens. And again I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all because I do appreciate them but my point was simply, don’t offer it if you’re not certain you can deliver. I would’ve been happy to have saved the money up for these things had I known it was going to be an issue. It’s just incredibly frustrating. They’re very last minute people and I’m not built that way. Also I’m concerned that if I do order and accept the money later, they’ll get offended.
Mish··
@alyssa5792, thank you! That’s my point. I’m also high risk for preterm labor so the whole “you might go longer” isn’t really on the table. Not to mention I already painted the entire room and closet, hung a curtain rod and have installed a new closet system by myself because of how much time my husband spends at work. I don’t get a break. I don’t have help so I’d like to take advantage of the time I do have because I know postpartum is going to be incredibly overwhelming for me.
Alyssa··
I agree. If you can bite your tongue and just foot the money until she gets it to you, that’s what I would do. Then you essentially get to have it both ways. ☺️
Mish··
@alyssa5792, I just did. I was saving all these gift cards then basically put it on a credit card. I just hope they don’t get offended by it. I don’t want to make them feel bad but it’s a huge inconvenience for me to wait until I’m 38 weeks pregnant to finish getting the baby’s things together.
Ashley Nicole Williams·
Многодетная мама (5 детей), беременна
i honestly would just be happy they offered to buy anything at all.
Blank·
I get you’re worried. But you could possibly go longer than your last pregnancy. All pregnancies are different. As frustrating as the situation is, if they don’t have the money readily available there’s not much they can do until they are able to buy it.
Mish··
I’m high risk for preterm labor so going longer isn’t really something we think is going to happen. I’m frustrated with the fact that I didn’t see it coming. Why is it so hard to just not offer what you can’t deliver on?