*rant*
I'm kind irritated with my husband right now... (Don't know how many of you pay attention to my post) but I don't get irritated with him a whole lot. But I've been trying to get him to have sex with me 3 months.. 3 MONTHS! we have never gonna this long without having sex. This may sound bad but he was supposed to be a booty call that turned into us dating. So our first "date" we had sex. We've been together for 5 years. I've basically been begging for it because it really helps relax me and I've been so nervous getting so close to delivery day. Well last night i was trying to get him in the mood and he said only if you get on top but usually I'm fine with but with how bad my hips have been hurting that just doesn't work and it kind of made me sad to think that he doesn't want to put any effort into. Then this morning he got made at me cause I haven't been wanting to cuddle at night. And all I could think,is okay asshole imagine that I don't want to cuddle with a guy that won't touch me and has been making feel fat and ugly cause he won't touch me for the first time in our relationship. But he says it's cause he doesn't want to hurt me cause im already sore down there but i think he isn't attracted to me anymore... And now I'm just freaking pissed...and sad... 😥 I'm just so done being pregnant...
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That’s how I felt about my husband during my first pregnancy. I had to sit him down and talk out all my concerns to him. (We started the same way, friends with benefits but we ended up dating). I told him that I felt like I was too big and unattractive and I hated how he never wanted to touch me. He listened and told me as I got bigger, he was scared to hurt me (because I was in pain down there 👇🏼) and he was scared to send me into early labor because he was on google and read that sex can start/speed up the process. But I explained to him that even though I was hurting, an orgasm actually helps and relaxes my body. .. the best thing to do is to sit down and talk about EVERYTHING that is on both of your minds. And try to understand from both points of views
I had this problem with my first and second pregnancies. He'd never want me. He eventually spilled that he's just not attracted to the belly which hurt me in 3 ways.
1 I've heard our friends say that they think their wives baby bellies were sexy so I thought it would be the same for us
2 I don't even notice his flaws because it's HIM I'm attracted to which includes body mind and spirit and it seemed he was only attracted to physical me
3 there's nothing I can do to change it.
He's grown a lot since then and we've had many in depth talks since Micah. I'm thankful that this pregnancy we haven't got that roadblock and I'm praying that it stays that way. I'm sorry about your situation and I feel how hurt your heart must be. A woman should always be pursued, fought for, and feel like he'd rather have her happiness and needs meet because he loves her that much.
Hun lots of hugs. Men are wierd. Have you sat down and explained all of this? Asked him how he would feel in your shoes? If you ever need a chat I'm here.
Thats probably the most frustrating part is that I've talked to him about it plenty of times...
@dazedmama I'm so sorry, have you just told him upfront he's being an a**? If he's being dense about the subject I wouldn't press him, as much as it stinks try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Even if it looks down now you'll miss it. That being said I would have a conversation with him about accepting his choice but he needs to take a hard look at how it has and will effect your relationship.
Hugs! But I think men genuinely get freaked out and don’t want to hurt you because they don’t understand. Mine wouldn’t go on top as soon as we found out we were pregnant and later on wouldn’t do any position that he felt could harm the baby even though docs and midwives said it was ok.
Don’t feel fat and ugly he’s probably trying to protect you in his own weird way.