I need some input from fellow moms to see if I am overreacting or if my indignation and anger is called for. My husband who I think drinks entirely too much but that is a completely different post, told me he was having some drinks with coworkers and the boss this evening, keep in mind this was at 4. So at 9 he comes home with the announcement he has a drunk co-worker with him who he has offered to sleep it off until morning, in the basement room which is in the process of being turned into my massage therapy room. We still have the queen size bed in there but my massage table is in there, all my meditation stuff; that is my quiet space , full of serene energy, positive vibes.. He did not run this by me. He just shows up with this dude, I have two kids, my ten-year-old daughter is up while this is going on. Number one she gets to see her dad with a buzz ( something we already are dealing with), put some stranger just comes in obviously drunk to pass out in the spare room. Not for nothing but I was planning on going down there tonight and working on a puzzle since I just put my son to bed, and now I get my quiet evening ripped out from under me with no discussion about it. I have proceeded to talk my daughter in now and I'm sleeping with her tonight because I'm too pissed off to sleep in my room. I don't even want to look at my husband right now much less sleep beside him.
We are not 20 years old and single anymore. I just don't think this is the behavior of a married father and it's not appropriate. He could have paid for an Uber for this guy if you wanted to be nice, why offer your house up even if you live 5 minutes away. You have a wife and kids at home. It's just not cool. But if I talk to him about this, I'm going to be the bad guy and I'm going to be the one making a big stink about nothing so I'll probably end up pushing this down and eating my resentment like I usually do about alcohol related things and it's going to Fester. I feel like I do not get the respect that I need in this marriage and I don't know what to do about it anymore because I don't like the example that I'm setting for my daughter. A huge problem is he's not a Christian and I am, when we met we both were partiers but that was in 2000, people change I've grown up and I feel like he hasnt. Sorry for book. I literally have no one to talk to about this. I have no family in Connecticut and I don't really have any really close friends here that I can bear my soul to, my church family maybe, but I've never really been one to cry on the shoulder of people, I've always been the one people come to.
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I was addicted to painkillers 3 years ago and lost my connection with God because of that .i pushed back from Him and chose doing What I wanted over his plan for me.I got back on track again because I felt convicted, it was my faith and prayer life and connection to God that got me through that because I would have been defeated otherwise.
This situation with non could be fixed with a relationship with God. He takes away desires of the heart, he helps in those moments of weakness giving you encourage minute in your soul. He went to church with me for a while and God was working on him I could tell but Ron got freaked out by the pressure in his head (as he put it). He straight up ran from God lol. Actually it's not funny but I'm so ticked right now I don't laugh I'll cry.
This morning he called me from work to apologize for bringing the guy home and in for me the dude got sick, at least it wasn't on my rug in my Room, but just around the corner on the concrete basement floor. Because that's so much better. I tried to explain to run about How this is not cool and he agree that he wouldn't do it again but that really the guy was harmless and he was too drunk to do anything and I laughed in his face and I said" did you hear what you just said. Grow up."
And he doesn't understand about the massage Room being sacred space. He said O just light a candle and change the linens. Sorry genius, you can't fix the energy in a Room from something that already happened. I'm just soooo angry right now at the lack of respect .
You don’t deserve that. You should definitely talk to him. You know nothing about his co-worker and personally I wouldn’t want a grown man in the same house as my daughter. I mean maybe it’s just me I don’t trust anyone these days. He needs to respect you’re space. It’s you’re home too. You’ve got to stand up for yourself. It sounds like you’ve stuffed a lot in already. That’s no way to live.
I think you have every right to be upset. It is less even about you, but it is your children’s home. He brought a heavily intoxicated stranger into your children’s home without any regard for them. @mhbb3, I honestly doubt that god, or the lord have anything to do with his choices to binge drink. I also doubt they would have any effect at all.
Actually it does. If you've given your life to Christ, you allow him to transform you and remove destructive things from your life. Op knows this because she has a relationship with Christ. That is why she mentions how his lack in that area plays a part.
If you are Christian your life and everything in it including marriage are grounded in Christ. That doesnt mean you'll never falter or struggle but it does mean you can find solace, mercy, comfort and strength to overcome in Christ.
It is because of Christ I am sober today.
This is why we need our men to be after God's own heart first. Its hard if he is not nurturing a relationship with the Lord first.
I think you need to stand up for yourself. Tell him the alcohol has to go and its time to get counseling.
He's a binge drinker so he is not going out every night or drinking at home, but when he does, he can't or won't just have a couple beers. Then he hangs around watching football or eating and the next thing you know, it's been 5 hours. Comes home buzzed, goes to bed and gets up at 5 to work his butt off . He's stressed and alcohol has always been his coping mechanism... I'm so tired.,,,,
You have every right to be angry! Ridiculous and it's already stupid enough he goes out drinking and leaves you home.. at least he's not cheating..but still!
For 20 years this man has been drinking.... he is an alcoholic but thinks he can stop when he wants-like all of them do.....
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I would be pissed but same token if it were you're husband drunk n switched to sleep at the guy's house drunk wouldn't you be grateful....growing up my dad has repeated it over n over to me being first out my siblings married."you're married now hang out with ppl who match you ppl that are married". And it took a long time for me to realize that but I've grown up alot with kids of my own and I understand it now. I hope things turn out for the best for you n yours. I'm no one to judge but if my husband had a friend to take em in I'd be grateful.