Am I being too selfish?
Keep in mind that I have PTSD due to my previous pregnancy.
I found out yesterday (by mistake) that my husband, who I adored, is planning a surprise baby shower. This is after us talking about not doing anything at all. My logic behind not wanting a shower is that I truly feel it would trigger my PTSD. We had a shower for our 1st. Big gender reveal surrounded by friends and family who showered us with pretty much everything we asked for. I'm not sure if this time around a celebration would be enjoyable for me... if anything I'm already anticipating anxiety. I feel we already have everything that we need for baby, as we are using all the things we kept from our 1st daughter, who end up passing at 38 weeks. As this pregnancy continues and we get closer to that time frame I just want to be as calm and focus towards this pregnancy as I can be, Instead of entertaining people. He has friends from out of state flying for this shower and everything. He also excluded my family because he knows that my family can be difficult, but didn't occur to him the drama this would bring. 😑 He keeps denying planning something but I was being nosey and ended up reading some texts confirming the whole thing. He is definitely being a sweetheart and I appreciate what he's doing but I'm not in the mental state nor prepare for a surprise like this one. I can feel the anxiety attack creeping up.
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Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
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I think he feels it’s would probably be good for you to be around friends and family , I think you should try to accept it and understand he’s doing it out of love for you, just relax and try to remain calm and think happy positive thoughts that’s all you want to bring to this pregnancy don’t dwell on the past what has happened I know it’s hard , but he’s definitely trying as well ... ❤️❤️