Everyone is in such a tissie about who spanks their child who cares everyone has a difference in opinion you know what I…

If you have done your due diligence, and looked at the research about spanking, and then continued to do so based on an informed decision then that's fine. However, most people that spank have not done so. I know I didn't when I was spanking my son. Once I knew better, I made better decisions for my family. We live in the information age. There's no excuse for willful ignorance.

@klazaro, im just saying that @lee-lee, is right. That people like you think for saying "there are facts" you are gonna change peoples minds but you are not. And yes beating a person child or adult obviously has repercussions. But spanking a child in their butt doesn't even have to inflict pain i havent done it yet because it hasnt been necessary but i am not against it either. You are also not really stating your "facts" you are just saying "oh its a fact" "oh its a fact" well, it is also a fact that modern parental techniques have affected our generation and we are uncapable of being persistent for example, statistics show that millenials cannot hold a job for long because they need instant gratification and when they don't escalate quickly they get bored or think they are not making a difference in the world because everyone would tell us that we are all winners, that we can do what we want etc. Real life is though and if you dont teach that to your kids then you don't prepare them for reality, that is a fact.

therefore forgive me if i think giving a little pop to my child in the butt when she is misbahaving ir touching the light outlets its OK.

Being a parent is much more than learning a bunch of statistics. Just be humble and admitt that maybe you don't have it all figured out. Just like i dont and thats why I dont like to be radical about my parental techniques.

Science and facts fail us sometimes- last year they were convinced artificial sweeteners were the best for health, this year however they found out that they are cancerous. 🤷‍♀️ Same shit with spanking. Spanking is not abuse unless u dont know how to spank your child and u just beat them or hit them.

@klazaro, I applaud your ability to do credible research! This is something they need to teach in school.

@klazaro, hey btw you asked for links aboit benefitial studies of spanking- there are plenty. I chose the first one i found : https://goodparent.org/corporal-punishment/research-on-corporal-punishment/evidence-favoring-the-use-of-disciplinary-spanking/

but if you are really interested you should look a lot deeper, there are so many studies out there ...thats what i was talking about when i said i dont believe in all your "reasearch" ...because now a days you can find any studies you want in almost anything.

@spicydisaster, thank you!

@klazaro, yeah lets agree to disagree. I said i would drop it because i dont agree with you at all in what regards abortion and i have my own reasons(i dont think you care for them) So ok.

@yayacarrington, agreed. In my experience some things work for some children, other things work for other. I am not saying spanking is the only way to discipline but it is a way and it works for some people i have experienced that. I respect your views on parenting, i just choose not to share the same views. I also don't think everyone should spank their kids all the time either. I am neutral- i dont think research can answer all the questions either as research is also often very subjective to the researchers. You can find all kinds of info out there according to what you want to believe

@klazaro, also: i know im an adult and i can have my own opinions you can too! im not gonna change your mind with my arguments right? so im gonna drop my controversial argument about abortion because I can drop it :) i dont want to keep going on this because I am mature enough to know that whatever I say won't matter to you even if I have thousands of "facts" so here it is to being mature and knowing when to drop things - what this post was all about- 🍻 cheers!

@josefa Again, you're confusing lack of punishment with lack of discipline. They are not the same thing. Having an opinion based on knowledge and solid research is different than having an opinion based on what our parents did or didn't do. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have in the moment. My mom spanked because she didn't know any better. I don't have that same excuse. I have access to practically all the knowledge in the world at my fingertips.

@klazaro, sorry but there is nothing subjective about it. And dont bring up laws...i remind you slavery was lawful not too long ago too.

@klazaro, im just saying that @lee-lee, is right. That people like you think for saying "there are facts" you are gonna change peoples minds but you are not. And yes beating a person child or adult obviously has repercussions. But spanking a child in their butt doesn't even have to inflict pain i havent done it yet because it hasnt been necessary but i am not against it either. You are also not really stating your "facts" you are just saying "oh its a fact" "oh its a fact" well, it is also a fact that modern parental techniques have affected our generation and we are uncapable of being persistent for example, statistics show that millenials cannot hold a job for long because they need instant gratification and when they don't escalate quickly they get bored or think they are not making a difference in the world because everyone would tell us that we are all winners, that we can do what we want etc. Real life is though and if you dont teach that to your kids then you don't prepare them for reality, that is a fact.

therefore forgive me if i think giving a little pop to my child in the butt when she is misbahaving ir touching the light outlets its OK.

Being a parent is much more than learning a bunch of statistics. Just be humble and admitt that maybe you don't have it all figured out. Just like i dont and thats why I dont like to be radical about my parental techniques.

Science and facts fail us sometimes- last year they were convinced artificial sweeteners were the best for health, this year however they found out that they are cancerous. 🤷‍♀️ Same shit with spanking. Spanking is not abuse unless u dont know how to spank your child and u just beat them or hit them.

@klazaro, im sorry lets not be stupid here : embryo or fetus- its a human right? or have you ever seen a plant come out of a person.

@josefa That had nothing to do with a lack of spanking. That was a lack of discipline altogether and a pervasive culture of entitlement.

@yayacarrington, and sometimes not spanking a child leads to little brats that think they are the gift to the world when they are not : aka millenials (i am one) 😂

@klazaro, And there is actual "factual evidence" that abortion is killing a baby and it actually hurts them but still people are convinced its ok to kill a child in the womb, so to be honest I think "factual evidence" only works for people who actually care about it. Everyone will have their own ideas regardless and it is hard to find people who actually want to be informed to make a decision. So i agree with @lee-lee. Some people get too passionate about it and want to change everyones mind, an app is not the place to do it in my opinion

@lee-lee, just curious as to your thoughts on the facts?

@laniejay You keep me accountable, too! 😂

@yayacarrington, I always make sure my statistics are accurate because of you! 😂

@spicydisaster Minds can always be changed! That's the beauty of having one. Even the most closed minded person can have a change of heart if it's presented in the right way. I've seen it happen many times. I believe that with enough evidence and open discussions like these, that even more minds can be changed. People are incredibly adaptive and are always learning. It's how we grow and evolve over time.

@lee-lee, I’ll tag you in some facts.

@spicydisaster I care. Statistics mean something. It cheapens them when someone makes them up out of thin air.

I know that my advocating for children has made a difference. A lot depends on how someone is being approached and how open minded they are to learning new parenting strategies.

@lee-lee I feel like you're trying to put words in my mouth. I said all children were affected in some way. That's a fact. How we choose to raise out children has an effect on them in the future. Positive and negative. That goes for all parenting decisions, not just spanking.

I listed some of the possible effects of spanking based on solid scientific research. I did not say that all children that are spanked are always affected in these specific ways. I said that the risk of these possible effects isn't worth it to me. I'm not sure if this clears up the confusion or makes it worse, but I tried.

@yayacarrington, you do realize those studies are biased because they only studied children that had behavioral issues that were spanked you can’t say all children have these issues because every child that was spanked wasn’t tested.

And as far as commenting on spanking posts, I will continue to respectfully do so. I do not attack anyone. I do not pass judgment or name call. I am here to help others find a better way to relate to their children. I have always had a strong desire to advocate for a child's best interest. This forum is an excellent platform to be able to do just that.

@lee-lee There are several studies that support what I'm saying. I would post links, but you've made it clear that you're not interested in reading anything longer than a few sentences. I have already said I don't care what someone else does as long as they are making informed decisions.

@yayacarrington, all children aren’t affected in the ways you stated there’s nothing to support what you’re saying but I’m not here to say someone is wrong or right and that wasn’t what my post was about it was about us not fighting and attacking each other over our different choices

My mom wasn't one to to be afraid to spare the rod when my sister and I misbehaved. I am the most passive person I know and I have never laid a hand on my child or anyone else's child. It doesn't bother me who does what with their child. Not my problem it's not my business if I feel like it's something that needs to be notified to authorities yes I will take action but a slap on the butt or a slap on the hand to me honestly it's no big deal even though I wouldn't do it to my child.

All children are absolutely affected by spanking. Just like any other parenting choice has an effect on their development. Spanking doesn't always lead to violence as an adult. Sometimes it leads to poor communication skills. Other times it leads to insecurities or manipulative behavior. For me, the risk of those difficulties isn't worth it when there are other methods that are proven to be more effective.

@jleona, I agree and that’s what I’m saying when I’m saying these aren’t facts because every child isn’t affected by spanking and I agree as long as a child isn’t being abused then we should allow people to parent as they choose

Just because some ppl turn out a certain way because they are spanked doesn't mean all do or will. I know plenty of ppl who were spanked (some even whooped with cords, hangers, wooden spoons) as children and aren't violent or suffered any effects from it. As stated before, certain things work for certain children. My oldest responded well to being popped when he was a toddler. My 2 year old does not, so I try different things that dnt involve physical contact. As long as the child isn't being beaten or abused there isn't anything wrong with a little physical discipline.

@klazaro, ok and what about the kids that weren’t spanked that are violent and have behavioral issues etc ? What caused them to be that way ? That’s what I mean by correlation. If only children that were spanked were violent and had behavioral issues and the children that weren’t spanked didn’t have those same issues then you have a fact but if both sides can display similar problems then you have a correlation being passed as a fact

If you have done your due diligence, and looked at the research about spanking, and then continued to do so based on an informed decision then that's fine. However, most people that spank have not done so. I know I didn't when I was spanking my son. Once I knew better, I made better decisions for my family. We live in the information age. There's no excuse for willful ignorance.

@laywatz, Im not saying you’re wrong for using it if you need to use it by all means use it what I’m saying is for people to stop attacking others for whatever their choice is that’s all I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for their choices I just said I don’t like them idc who uses them or don’t I’m just saying I would never attack someone for their choice

@underthesea14 There's been lots of posts debating carseat safety. Rear facing vs forward facing, etc. I've never read anything on spanking because I don't use that method of discipline on my daughter, she's not even 2.

@emily256 I use a child "leash" because my daughter has a problem with her vistibular system. She also has no concept of her name or danger. My daughter is special needs but it's nearly improssible to recognize that fact if you were to pass us on the sidewalk.

The harness allows her to practice walking and enables me to keep her from falling down and hurting herself. It also keeps her safe since she doesn't understand the dangers of walking into a busy street.

@klazaro, just because there’s a correlation doesn’t make it a fact so let’s examine these facts. And no I didn’t read it word from word I just skimmed it

I agree with you I don’t like leashes for children’s . Leashes are to walk pets not children’s

@mamaofzuri Girl me too

I have a hedgehog harness for my daughter, she doesnt like the stroller and she doesnt always hold my hand, I love her harness because I'm happy and so is she 🤷🏽 its just easier because my daughter likes to be able to walk around, she doesn't like being confined to the stroller haha the harness enables me to keep her close, but gives her her own space to walk

@mamaofzuri Some people just aren't capable of having a healthy debate. I mean there's no debating to be done on carseat safety or things like that. But there's plenty of things we can discuss as mother's to help enlighten each other. I've never used a child leash and don't see myself ever using one, but I'd love to hear why other mom's use them. I never used a wipe warmer or a bottle warmer either, but some mom's swear by them. I always love to learn new things.

@mamaofzuri, no ego it’s just I don’t want a bunch of women arguing and I don’t want to be the cause of a bunch of women arguing and if we started to discuss it I promise you it would have been some arguing because it’s a topic some women are passionate about and it’s controversial.

@lee-lee 😘. I do too. But I don't think the arguing will ever stop on here.

@michaelsmommy17, girl thank you I can literally kiss you right now because that’s all I’ve been saying I’m not trying to debate or argue about the topic I just want us to all stop fighting and arguing over it.

@mamaofzuri I agree with you. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. But there are some things that are just plain facts. Child leashes, that's more of an opinion or preference. Carseat safety, that's plain fact.

@michaelsmommy17, exactly what i under from @lee-lee too.

I honestly think @lee-lee was just trying to say some ppl don't believe in spanking , some don't believe in leashes. To each their own and we shouldn't tear eachother down over our choices.

@ju.bro.mums, exactly but these women have this one track mind where they feel so passionate about something they want everyone to side with them like come on let it go you can’t change everyone’s mind the adult thing to do is say ok we have a difference in opinion and let it be.

@lee-lee, im just reading and reading and reading . this is just wow to me. everyone has a right to they opinion as i have been saying before in my post and everyone will raise they child as they see if. good or bad EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN WAY.

@ju.bro.mums, girl I’m in tears because these girls are really trying to make this a thing and they missing the whole point. I don’t want ppl taking shots and arguing and calling each other out their name and they keep trying to push it talking about intellectual conversations like you gotta read and comprehend before I can have an intellectual conversation with you

@mamaofzuri, 😂😂😂 girl there wasn’t anything to debate my post just said y’all gotta stop debating about right or wrong and let it be a difference of options. It’s comments like yours that start arguments and then next thing you know two women are tearing each other down. And you’re right I’m not going to read it it’s too long and I’m not here to debate even if I read it I wasn’t going to debate with you I would have liked your comment and went about my day 😂😂😂 y’all gotta stop this forreal. And P.S when ever someone says I’m not trying to argue that’s a indication that they are about to state their opinion and give supporting details to why they feel the way they feel and like I said numerous times my post wasn’t about that. That’s exactly how every other argument started about this topic I don’t want ppl arguing

@izzyaspie, quick question what was my post about ? Y’all get in your feelings so much the whole point of my post went over your heads

@cams, 😂😂😂 girl you gotta read. If that’s what floats your boat then go ahead. I just said I personally don’t like them and no when my son was younger he was in a stroller or held my hand. But if the leashes work for you by all means go ahead my post was about difference of opinions it wasn’t an attack on child leashes I used that as an example of a parenting choice that works for some and may not work for others. It seems like people can freely attack one parenting choice when someone isn’t attacking their parenting choice so I used the leash to demonstrate how easy it is for someone to disagree with something someone finds beneficial.

You don’t like leashes? I guess you have a child who doesn’t try to run into traffic or try to escape your grasp in large stores? I’d rather get judge mental cringes from people like you then risk him being killed or kidnapped. 😒

@sagwaenglish I was just saying how advanced babies are these days. Whats going on! Lol Im glad hes advanced and very smart for his age but he's also giving me about 5 mini heart attacks a day!

@sagwaenglish these babies are too smart! . My little guy is already seeing how to unbuckle the straps on his seat we have on the floor 🤦‍♀️. So I never leave him in that quick to go pee or anything anymore.

@sagwaenglish omg!!! Why are we so attracted to those damn things as kids. My baby is not crawling yet but those damn outlet covers are going in asap!

@amysbabies i agree. Hey i was spanked at times as a kid. And I may as a parent not spank my child. Ya never really know. But yes straight up abuse is just wrong and thats something we shouldnt ignore

@sagwaenglish i get that. Im sure it was super scary for her to want to play with an outlet of all things 😖.

@amysbabies, exactly and that’s why I said difference in opinions

Every child is different. End of story. Spanking is absolutely the wrong thing for some children and right for others, the same with child leashes. I will comment on a post if I feel it is harmful to a child or turning into abuse- such as the “I have to keep spanking my child harder because it’s not working”—- that’s the highway for abuse no matter the intent.

@sagwaenglish oh. Well beat and pop are def two diff things lol.

@sagwaenglish its all good. Im really not sure what post that was on but i didnt see it on the one im referring to.

And im not sure why you put beat her in all caps because I never mentioned anything about anyone saying they beat their child @sagwaenglish

@sagwaenglish i dont believe you are who the person was talking about because this comment about someone hitting their infant wasn't on a post you were even commenting on.

@mamaofzuri, I’m ok it’s not that deep for me. I didn’t ask anyone for a thesis I was just stating my opinion in my comment.

@lee-lee agreed

@michaelsmommy17, yea that’s just morally wrong when I say child I’m talking about bigger children who can actually communicate and make decisions infants and toddlers act off of impulse.

@mamaofzuri, I’m sorry this is too long and I’m not going to read it all I’m just going to be honest with you. So I’m responding to the first part. Everything doesn’t pertain to everyone and I think a lot of moms should come to that realization I’m not saying every mom wouldn’t change their stance I’m saying a majority isn’t why because that information has been around forever you think this is the first time they were every confronted for their choice ? I’m saying look at the information out there about abortions but guess what people still have abortions right ? Let people live their life you getting your feathers ruffled for no reason and it doesn’t help anyone.

@lee-lee yeh yhe infant comment got me. That's just disgusting.

@michaelsmommy17, yes and that’s very different that’s not a child that’s an infant. Someone should report her because an infant ? That’s crazy !!!! She needs psychological help

I never usually get into these debates on here or even comment but i did yesterday on a post because someone said a women was saying how she hits her infant. That I don't understand. A tiny, helpless baby. They def dont understand a spanking at that age. I don't know how someone could smack a baby that little.