So time to vent: my husband’s sister has been doing nothing for the last five years but pissing me off and getting on my…

@mitiacarolina3 that's too much of a headache to babysit a 24 yr old. If it were my husband, I'd tell him, if she has to come here, I'm leaving. You shouldn't be uncomfortable in your own home. She does have a choice, she's refusing to use it. She's refusing housing because she can't have men and drugs over, that's a red flag, that means 100% she's going to have men and drugs in your home, that's a given.

She needs to grow up. The coddling and hand holding needs to stop. If he really wants to be a good big brother, he'd let her fend for herself and learn to be a grown up. Maybe bad advice, but if she's there, I wouldn't stay

Maybe she needs to be flat on her face and homeless to get her life together may tuff love is what she needs not a crutch. Maybe tell him that it’s not worth your marriage

It sounds to me like your brother and many people around her have enabled her bad behavior. I would tell your DH simply that it’s not safe for her to be around the kids and yes, she’s your sister. And THAT is exactly why she can’t stay here. She refused housing because she didn’t want to stop bringing men or use drugs. You aren’t helping her. Her coming here will just be a continuation of the bratty behavior she’s exhibited in the past. You can’t bring someone you can’t trust into your home. Please respect my right to peace. My right to protect our children. And if you really want to “help” your sister. Help her find a different place to live. Our home is not an option.

She's a grown ass woman! I would put my foot down and say no. She will gind somewhere to go. I couch surfed for a bit in my early 20's coz I couldn't deal with my mum and split with my ex after 8 years together. I always had somewhere to go. I'm sure she has friends she can stay with. You have an 8 month old baby. There's no way that it's going to work out well so I would just straight up say no! Tell your man that your child and your relationship is more important than her not being able to pick her ass up and help herself. As I said she'll sort something out and find somewhere to stay. There's no way a 24 year old would not have a friend she can stay with.

Nope. You live there too, and you get a say.

Nope. He wants her to come stay, then I would leave.

@five_little_angels, no I feel the same ways... it’s been like this since they were younger... she would screw up and he would stop what he’s doing to help her out no matter what. His mom is the same way. All 3 of them is extra and it’s like “well it was always just us” I’m like well now y’all are grown with kids so something needs to change...

Then again I’m feeling a little salty atm

Yeah well the boy was your little brother. So that’s obviously a shitty excuse. I’d personally tell him if she stays I won’t because OBVIOUSLY how I feel about living in my own home matters less to you than bailing your screw up sister out yet again. She’s not a child.

@lpheartsyou, I told him all of that but his fighting statement is that it’s his little sister

I’m 100% with you op. She’s a grown woman. She’s burned her bridges and can figure it out herself.

@mitiacarolina3 then if it's your house, put your foot down. No means no. If he really wants to help, let him help her to understand that her best bet is to take the peer housing. Sometimes helping a person doesn't mean compromising yourself, it could informing them of all available resources

@sweetsap88, I refuse to be ran out of my own house after all I had to do to get it... I was basically homeless and everyone who claimed to want to help wanted something in return. So when the damn state of North Carolina was going to GIVE his sister a damned apartment but she turned it down I was mad as hell... now that she realized that shit is hitting the fan she wants to run to big brother

@mitiacarolina3 that's too much of a headache to babysit a 24 yr old. If it were my husband, I'd tell him, if she has to come here, I'm leaving. You shouldn't be uncomfortable in your own home. She does have a choice, she's refusing to use it. She's refusing housing because she can't have men and drugs over, that's a red flag, that means 100% she's going to have men and drugs in your home, that's a given.

She needs to grow up. The coddling and hand holding needs to stop. If he really wants to be a good big brother, he'd let her fend for herself and learn to be a grown up. Maybe bad advice, but if she's there, I wouldn't stay

@dandilioncalalilly, like it was so bad at his moms house.. she couldn’t even be left in the house alone because she always bought people over

This is a fight I personally would fight to not let her in my house, because of your child and your marriage. And if it doesn’t work make her life hell let her feel not welcome tell her she’s not wanted. Enforce the no drugs or guys rule. Nothing worse than a cock block. She brings a guy kick him out.

@dandilioncalalilly, she’ll make up an excuse of why she can’t stay at one.. she has done it before. And now that my husband and I have our own spot she feels like she’s welcome

@mrsreesyd, I don’t think he’ll let her... every time she puts herself in a situation she’ll call my husband to come and get her out of trouble... she’ll start fights and then when it gets out of hand she’ll call him at work crying and he’ll rush over there just to find out she was the one who ran off at the mouth

@mitiacarolina3, same rules for your house. You have a child. Your child comes first. You have to put your foot down! She can stay at a woman’s shelter.

@mitiacarolina3 time for her to learn a lesson

@dandilioncalalilly, I told him that if I wouldnt let my 16 year old brother move in with us then why would you let your 24 year old sister? He told me the difference was my brother had somewhere to go but just didn’t want to and his sister doesn’t have any other option.... she refused housing when her peer support worker tried to help her because they said no boys and no drugs and she didn’t want that

Maybe she needs to be flat on her face and homeless to get her life together may tuff love is what she needs not a crutch. Maybe tell him that it’s not worth your marriage

@a.lares, she doesn’t care. She feels like as long as she’s comfortable then everyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter

@mrsreesyd, no she doesn’t work but she gets a check every month but not enough to live on.. and the hotels down here aren’t really cheap for two weeks they want $350

Ummmm u don't sleep naked unless it's ur house and ur paying the bills

Does she work? Can he pay for a hotel for a couple weeks for her or something?

@mrsreesyd, that’s how I feel but my husband wants to help her.. but he knows that she doesn’t respect anyone or their belongings and he thinks that by telling her some “rules” is gonna help... in like if she didn’t even listen to her own mother then why would she listen to her brother?

Oh, she's grown....I wouldn't let her move in with me. I need to be comfortable in my own home.

@mrsreesyd, 24

How old is she?