VENT /TRIGGER WARNING

Havent been on in forever but good grief who knew being a mom was so hard and it is like im a single one at that cause her father travels for work i dont get a break at all my family is no help after they begged me to move here so they could help. Im so stressed and depressed alot but that little girl has kept me from foing anything stupid i cant do that to her i love her to much and want so much better for her been thinking alot lately about my past/ childhood etc and then last week i rolled my car and now its so hard to stay calm in a car i get so nervous i shake i have an apt to go back to my doctor because i cant take it anymore even though i said i didnt wanna be on meds anymore :( after 2 years of taking nothing 😓 and being clean i jus aghhh i thought id be good cause ive raised and been around kids all my life but its not in the least ! Im telling you ... idk why my past has been popping in my head but the thoughts about being molested raped have been coming thru and all that then everything else happening if its not one thing its another ... sorry for how long ... almost 7 month old teething brat jus went to sleep