Opinions about an incident at the pool please: so today I was swimming laps at my gym pool and there was an older man…

I probably would have approached their mother and ask her if she felt uncomfortable by his comments. If she agreed that his comments were making her uncomfortable for her children, then I would have walked up to the front with the mother and complained about him. Unfortunately though because it was probably a shared coed gym pool, they weren't going to tell him to not go in the pool, but at least by making his comments known they could possibly keep an eye on him in case he ever has inappropriate behavior towards any other gym members in the future.

Personally it doesn't sound bad to me. If I was uncomfortable as a mother I would have said something, I don't think it is your place. I think he sounds like a harmless person.🤷‍♀️

Just reading the story, it doesn't seem creepy to me. My grandparents talked to everyone, I'm sure they'd comment on some mermaid tails at the pool. Maybe it came across differently actually being there, but it seems harmless as I read it.

Yeah, typing it out doesn’t make it sound as bad as it really felt in person but I also decided in the moment that since their moms were there & heard him, that it wasn’t my place to do anything about his comments.

@oceanhalo, yeah pretty much the only reason I wanted to report it was in case someone else had an issue with him in the future and needed more credibility to their statement.

I dont see anything weird or creepy about your story. But if anybody needed to be approached, was the older guy directly. Not management. We need to stop protecting predators (not saying the old guy at the pool was).

I wouldn’t have said anything. Sounds harmless to me.

I would be pissed off if someone reported my father as creepy for merely being friendly.

It could go both ways. He could have just been trying to be nice since he’s old and they were little but if it was an actual weird vibe w like his tone or body language then maybe.

Sounds like regular old man small talk

I ultimately decided to give him the benefit of the doubt which I think was the right choice (only because the mothers heard & saw) his tone was definitely a bit creepy though IMO and I have a very friendly dad & grandpa who love kids— this guy seemed different and inappropriate to me. Hopefully he is just a harmless old man! He was closer to the 50ish range for the user who asked— wasn’t like a feeble old dude who doesn’t get that times have changed ya know?

I think what bothered me the most was this (because I just read what I wrote and it DOES sound harmless) when he said “those are some nice outfits”— he was in the pool at eye level and they were facing him, right in front of him, taking off their tails (lol) on the ground by the pool- and so their legs were open and facing towards him- WHY was he looking at them long enough to make a comment 😬 but maybe I’m just overly sensitive— the girls and their mothers definitely heard him and didn’t reply and everything went silent for a minute so I wasn’t the only one to think it was weird. Either way not really my job to report that.

Did he ask the girls to take their tails off in front of him too? With their “legs open facing toward him” as you put it? Maybe he was uncomfortable too 🤷‍♀️

If an older person is commenting "those are some nice outfits" when my child is wearing swim shorts/ a swimsuit, I'd feel uncomfortable. But I suppose it also depends on how the person is saying it. If they're fully eyeballing my kid and the tone of voice rubs me the wrong way, I'd just say, "I don't feel comfortable with what you're saying. Whether you mean anything by it or not, I'd rather you keep your comments to yourself."

There's always the chance that I'll come off as a bitch, but what I've learned is that people, especially women, become.so overly concerned with coming off as impolite/bitchy at the risk of their own discomfort and sometimes, their own safety.

Better to be safe than sorry is always my policy.

I think it all depends what tone of voice he used. I think what he said was harmless. Why can’t a guy comment on something he’s probably never seen before.

Would it be a different story if it were a woman saying it?

Again, he could be very well a creepy person and had ill intentions. Not saying he isn’t but I’m raising 3 sons and would feel hurt that almost every woman wants to jump to the conclusion that men are creeps when commenting on something such as this.

@messybunmom, couldn’t agree more!!

@ss3mom, it’s true though! I will admit that there are men AND women that give off that weird vibe but I feel it’s wrong to jump to the conclusion that a man is creepy and a pervert by telling a girl that her outfit is interesting. Or whatever he said.

I also think that telling management is wrong just because of starting something that was so little and taken out of context. People talk and those people will talk and that’s where things can go wrong for that man.

@messybunmom, yea I agree again. It’s sad because I’m the type of person that talks to anyone and everyone who will listen lol. Well most of the time, u know what I mean.

@messybunmom, and I’d hate to think that I’m being creepy at a 36 year old women who talks to adults and kids alike. Cause creeps come in all ages!!

It sounds creepy to me and would have made me feel uncomfortable. But granted I am especially sensitive to these type of things being that I was sexually abused as a child.

@laylasmom, I don't blame you and I definitely did feel uncomfortable (and could tell the girls & their mom did too)- if the moms weren't there I would have reported him 100%

I could see my grandpa saying something like this, he’s a little weird but I’m certain he wouldn’t mean any harm by that comment.

But, if a stranger, man or woman said this to my girls, I’d still be on high alert. I’m kind of paranoid though 🤷🏻‍♀️