Hi everyone! Can someone please tell me if I am wrong for this. I need honest opinions because now I feel bad. So my…

@lilysilly next time make sure you talk about it beforehand. Just be like "hey can you watch her Saturday since you didn't watch her Tuesday, the Monday before that, two Thursdays ago and that one day last month I paid your greedy ass for?"

No if you give an appropriate amount of notice you definitely should not pay her for the days she doesn’t babysit.

Okay. I’m just coming from a nanny’s point of view. I’m guaranteed 45 hours a week. So even if I don’t work 45 hours, they still have to pay me for those hours. Anything after 45 I get paid hourly. But if I have to come a whole extra day to work (Saturday) I need to be paid for that extra time. Because that is not a part of my 45 hour work week. So even if during the week, if I worked only 30 hours and then worked a Saturday. I still get paid for my 45 hours + Saturday. That’s just how it works with this family. So I understand where your babysitter is coming from.

Its really not worth going to work if its all going to someone else to keep her.

With the amount you pay her I would just take her to a regular daycare and not have to worry about extra although its a set fee no matter how many days she won't go. She should be more understanding, how much more did you have to pay her for that Saturday

@mommyof1boyy, I’m already taking my daughter with someone else that will be charging me less and the days that she doesn’t watch her I won’t be paying her. She is also willing to watch her on a Saturday and of course I would pay her.

@lilysilly, then I’d look for someone you pay daily. Like 40$-50$ a day. Not weekly or I’d keep it written in a book the days she goes, do the math and make sure you’re not over paying anymore.

@mommyof1boyy, I agree daycares do but she does not have an actual daycare where you need to pay for the spot. She is someone that watches kids at home which was only Mila and another little girl.

Daycares do it all the time. Unless you pay by day, not by the week. But idk how many places do that anymore.

@yamip91, A rent and a sitter are two different things you can’t really compare that. I don’t get paid for the days that I don’t come to work so why should I pay for the days I don’t take her? I mean I don’t just grow the money from the backyard I have to work for it. People earn money not just get it for free and I wasn’t paying for a spot either this is not an actual daycare it’s someone that watches kids at home, but anyways we left things in good terms and she said if I ever need her to watch Mila she will definitely take care of her, but I appreciate your honest opinion thank you!

@sincerepolicy, Actually, she left for a whole month last year with 2 weeks notice. It was hard finding someone to watch Mila which is the current sitter that is now taking care of my daughter. She expected for me to pay her the full $150 for that week when she only watched her for 3 days so I told her no that I couldn’t do that because I had to pay someone else for those days that she was not going to watch her. So you think it would have been fair for me to pay the $150 for the whole week when she only watched her 3 days that week and I still had to pay someone to watch my daughter for those days? I guess we all think different I just don’t think it’s fair for someone to pay for the days that they are not taking care of the kids.

She don’t have other kids to watch so it’s not like I was paying for her to keep the spot. At least we left things in good terms.

Time is money. If she manipulates how she spends her time based on your needs then she should be compensated. She could plan a trip to Bora Bora 6 months out but has to work around her babysitting schedule. It’s called opportunity cost.

No if you give an appropriate amount of notice you definitely should not pay her for the days she doesn’t babysit.

I think you should pay her what you both agreed to no matter if she took care of the baby 1 day or the whole week.. weekends are another different story and I think you guys needed to agree on what would happened if she ever needed to care for the baby on the weekends prior to being hired.

I see it this way.

You pay $1500 in rent...but you went on vacation for a whole week, you cant just call your land lord and tell them you will only pay $1125 because you werent home for a whole week. It just doesnt work that way.

@carpetmushrooms, right?!? @amberjacq, A better comparison would be if the employee showed up and the boss said: “sorry I don’t have work for you, but you have to sit here for 8 hours unpaid anyways”. You can’t expect someone to sit around unpaid as they can’t fill the slot for the day temporarily.

@amberjacq actually most of the time you do get paid when you don't come to work.. I have a salaried position and any day I take off, I have to use PTO (paid time off)

@amberjacq, that’s how legitimate daycares operate. You pay for their spot not their attendance. They couldn’t stay in business otherwise. It’s not stealing money.

@lilysilly, That’s good hopefully this one won’t steal your money

@amberjacq, thank you! That’s exactly how I think too! I switched her to a different sitter now.

No she shouldn’t get paid for days that she’s not there that’s ridiculous, do you get paid when you don’t come to work no you don’t because you didn’t earn the money by working it just doesn’t make sense for her to be paid for days she isn’t there.

@jellybean0808, thank you!! I really like her but I already found someone else to watch my daughter. I just didn’t think it was fair for her to do that but I know is also her job and she might need the money. Well even before this I was already thinking of moving her because I just can’t afford it anymore with her. This other lady that will be watching my daughter now is cheaper and I have also known her for a very long time.

I think thats bs! If you have to payfor the days that she don't watch your child then it should def be the same price for Saturday and Sunday. Dunno about her calendar but my calender shows a week as Sunday-Saturday. Not Monday-Friday then Saturday-Sunday. If I was you hun I would either find a new sitter that isn't trying to rip off a hard working momma or sir down and come up with a written agreement.

@yayacarrington, Thank you! I have actually known her for 10 years she is friends with my mom and her daughter and I are good friends. She will not be a stranger. We would have sleep overs in her house back in the day when I was just a teenager. I know everyone that lives in the home which I am very comfortable with all of them.

Make sure that you know, and are comfortable with, everyone that will be in and out of the new home. It is not just the caregiver that you need to vet.

@threeplusone, yea that what I thought too but I didn’t want to get in her business so just left it alone.

@spookylyn, thank you! I know she will be good to my daughter it will not be the first time taking Mila to her and besides her daughter and I are friends and she is also friends with my mom.

@lilysilly yeah that's shady for her not report it on her taxes and actually illegal. If you make over a certain amount in a year it has to be reported. I think it was around $1000 per year.

@spookylyn, I actually have someone else that will start watching my daughter starting tomorrow she will charge $120 and I asked if I didn’t take my daughter one day will I still have to pay her the $120 and she said of course not. This is the best option for my family and I because I honestly couldn’t afford it anymore. I have been think for a while now to switch her but I didn’t want to because I know my daughter loves her.

@spookylyn, Yes I see your point of view and I would think it would be fair only if I could actually report it on my taxes to get something back but since she doesn’t report taxes I couldn’t even do that.

@laniejay, I completely understand that everyone works different. She has no other children to take care so there is not spot to hold. She only watches my daughter and another little girl. She used to watch a third child but she left. I’m not miss understanding anything it’s just that I know other people that don’t charge for the days that they don’t take the kids to their babysitter.

I will be taking my daughter to a different person from now one because it’s just better for my family and I. This lady will charge me $120 and she stated I don’t have to pay her for the days I don’t take her and if I work a Saturday then of course I will pay her because she is charging me per day not per week which that is completely fair.

Maybe I was different but when I babysat in my home I never charged anyone for days they weren't there. I didn't think it was fair since I wasn't an actual daycare. In my case I was just doing it for extra money and wasn't dependent on it so that's why I could go without. I would make sure to clarify before or have her write out a payment agreement so you know exactly what you're expected to pay.

@spookylyn, I think that is different because she doesn’t have a daycare. She doesn’t have any other kids to watch so there is no spot to hold. My son used to have a different babysitter and she would charge per day so if I didn’t take him one day she wouldn’t charge me for that day and If I did take him on a Saturday then of course I would pay her but because it was fair I just think it’s different because I pay her per week not per day but thank you so much for your opinion I really appreciate it.

Typically you pay for your spot. You can’t expect someone to be available to you and not be compensated for that time. If the spot wasn’t being held, she could fill it with another paying child. So yes, you pay for the spot not attendance. And extra time is extra time. She is running like a business which is perfectly fair. If that’s your only issue with her, you’re potentially ruining a good thing over your misunderstanding of the system.

@lilysilly, my kids go to an in home daycare. If my kids don’t go she doesn’t charge me. My father in law likes to take them a couple times a month so every couple of times they aren’t there I’ll pay the normal rate just to not take advantage of the situation.

@massgirl, yea I understand that too.

She actually watches my daughter and another little girl. The other girl will start school soon and she actually told me a couple of weeks ago that if she can’t find another child to take care of she won’t be taking care of my daughter anymore because she would obviously have to start working to make just as much. Since then I started think that maybe I should switch her now and start saving me some money. I just haven’t switched her because I feel sad for my daughter but I think it’s time now.

@cookiekrumb, well sadly I won’t be taking my daughter to her anymore. I really really love the way she takes care of my baby but this is not the first time we get into an argument and to be honest I can’t afford it anymore I have been thinking for a while now to have someone else watch her. I have so many bills to pay I just can’t do it anymore. I know this other really good friend of my mom and I and she will now be taking care of her. I made sure to ask her all of this things and she will be charging me less too.

She won’t be a complete stranger to my daughter because she actually watched her a while back for a whole month when her current babysitter left out of town.

I’m just sad for my baby girl because I know she loves her nana (she calls her that), but I know she will grow to

love this other lady just as much because she is such a sweet person and I know she will take care of her just as good as her babysitter.

Maybe talk to about it and come to a better understanding? How much notice does she get on the days your daughter won't be there? If it isn't more than a week then she probably can't work another job to this is her job. I can see from her point of view why it would be a flat rate in that circumstance.

@lilysilly next time make sure you talk about it beforehand. Just be like "hey can you watch her Saturday since you didn't watch her Tuesday, the Monday before that, two Thursdays ago and that one day last month I paid your greedy ass for?"

@massgirl, that’s exactly how I see it. I know a daycare its different but this is someone that watches my baby at her home. I would at least think it was fair for her not to charge me extra for those 4 hrs since I pay her per week not per day. I don’t get paid much and to still have to pay for days that I don’t take her if I don’t work it really bugs me.

Last time she went out of town on a Thursday and didn’t watch her that Friday so I had to find someone else watch her so I told her that I wouldn’t be paying her for that Friday because I had to pay that other lady for the Friday she watched her. She got a bit upset but said ok.

@cookiekrumb, yea well I understand about going out during the weekend I would think that’s different. I would definitely pay to have someone watch my kids for me to go out but this was only 4hrs on a Saturday that never really happens.

Babysitting and daycare are two very different things. If she's babysitting then no she shouldn't get paid when she isn't there. If it's a home daycare enviornment then she gets paid regardless. You're paying for the spot in a daycare.

@ek620, yea maybe I was wrong for thinking like that but well I paid her already. I just wanted to see what other moms thought about it. Thank you for the help!

When my sis in law lived with us, she paid me 300 a month to watch her son after school for a few hours when she worked. Even if she worked from home or didn't go or he had no school, it was always 300. If she went out on the weekend, I charged her another 50-100.

@massgirl, it’s rare when I when I work Saturdays maybe once every 5 months so I would think that a Saturday should at least replace one of those days that I did not take her and still had to pay, but after we spoke I felt bad and then started realizing that maybe I was just wrong for thinking like that.

@carpetmushrooms, thank you for your response! No we do not have a written contract. I never thought it was fair to have to pay for the days she doesn’t go because this is not an actual daycare. I still agreed to pay her that because she was the only

person that would watch my baby at that time. So I am ver grateful to her for stepping up and watching my 2 month old at the time. She is now 18 months. I guess I was just used a different thing with my sons babysitter.

Most daycares a "week" is mon-fri. Do you typically work Saturdays or is this the first time?

I pay my babysitter monthly. That is only for M-F. Some months he’ll go every weekday & other months he won’t. It’s pretty standard for babysitters/daycare to charge a weekly or monthly rate whether you go each day or not. If I needed a sitter on Saturday I would expect to pay her extra.

Do you guys have any kind of written contract?

Most daycare centers charge per week based on a maximum number of hours per week. If my daughter goes 4 days of the week I pay the same as if she goes 5. And if I need then to watch her 12 hours instead of 9 I am charged extra for any number of hours over 10.

I would expect to pay an in home provider extra for watching my kiddo on a Saturday!