Scared of pregnancy & birth

Scared of pregnancy & birth

First off, no bfp yet! We've sort of decided on ttc for 4th and last baby, but the more I think about pregnancy and birth the more I think I just can't do it again. My last pregnancy was awful. I managed to get everything from severe sickness, bleeding, gestational diabetes and searing abdominal pain. I think I was fit to work maybe a month and a half the whole 9 months. When I went to my gp for the sickness he gave me a script for bloody ginger syrup ? I was signed off sick by my work's occupational health before I was even half way and spent most of the pregnancy in and out of hospital. I was induced at 38 weeks due to the pain and diabetes, and a lot of reduced movements. The labour and delivery was horrific, & the baby's heart rate kept falling. Just before my son was born the room suddenly flooded with people. The midwife I had was horrible and never spoke to us the whole time. To this day I still don't know what happened. I didn't even hold my son for at least 2 hours after he was born because I couldn't stop shaking and vomiting. Just writing this scares me again ? Just don't know what to do xx