Meeting my biological father...

Wow. It sounds like you're handling it remarkably well.

I know how hard it is scheduling a time/date to meet up with my one best friend, and she's someone I want to see very much. Keeping that in mind, and knowing the coordination requires someone else's schedule and car, I'd try to be patient. Hard as that would probably be.

Maybe try and call him first. My story is a bit different. I've always known my step dad was my step dad and that my bio father I never met was a drug addict. When I was 20 I found his family, he had died of an over dose a year before I made that phone call. Talking his parents was actually very easy and they made me very comfortable with them during our first visit. I'd try giving him a call first or maybe an email and try to feel him out for yourself first before meeting him. I know it's tough, I wish you the best of luck and a good outcome op.

Thanks for your comments.

Carr: I'm trying to be patient, and I definitely haven't expressed any frustration to my sister; the holidays are always super busy. It took me a while to wrap my head around things. I know my parents had my best interest at heart; I think that made it easier.

A.Family: I don't think he has any living family except me & my sister & possibly another son that he had with a high school girlfriend. We don't know much about that story. Email is out, and while I'm normally great at phone calls (I worked call centers), my mind is blank on what I would say...

Deborah: My fiancé will probably be there. He's very protective, and he makes me feel safe, so that support would be good.

My sister knew about me all along, and she said she's looked for me since MySpace days. At one point, when I was really young, we lived in the same apartment complex. She said she played with me and my brothers a couple times.

If I called.. I have no idea what I would even say. I feel like in person, with my sister there, it would be a little easier. I'm trying to think of questions, have been, but ... blank.

With me, the first things I asked were family medical questions. And I went from there, the conversation flowed smoothly after that. I hope things work out for you.

This sounds very similar to mine my dad would always talk bad about our mom saying she just left she never even tried to communicate to us and she said she did. She live in another state though so on my 19th bday she told my grandpa to give me her number and I called her. She's just like me and we had a very nice conversation. I decided that there's always going to be two sides of every story but you'll never get the whole truth so why waste time trying to figure it out. I say try calling him so at least it's something eventually you'll meet up like me and my mom did ? stay positive and I hope everything works out for you!

What I've found from listening to a lot of angry moms and dads.. Is that there are 3 sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth.

I try to give everyone the benefit of doubt. Maybe he did try to be involved but he couldn't get clean so your mom didn't let him in. Maybe he got clean but your mom thought it was too late. We don't really know.

What you can say:

How you found him.

Tell him about you (age, job, kids, relationship, etc).

Ask about him (age, where he's from, his parents, if he was ever married, etc etc).

Thanks for the help, y'all. And thanks for the ideas on questions to start our conversation. I really appreciate it!

I'll talk to my sister soon & ask for his number. Still nervous, but having an idea of some things to say/ask helps.