Modesty- Where did it go?
There is too much sexy going on! I was incredibly guilty of it in my younger days, too. But as I get older and look at pictures that women are proud of I actually get embarrassed for them. What happened to old fashioned modesty? I change clothes if my v neck t-shirt shows too much! I know my younger self would be laughing at me right now, but I have definitely changed my perspective as I have gotten older and become a mom! Does anyone else feel this way or have I just turned into a crabby old biddy that forgot what it was like to be young?!?!
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I've never been a slutty dresser, I've always tried to be more classy sexy. Even in my young clubbing days because in a sea full of boobs and bootys hanging out, the girl who is dressed just a little different will stand out more.
And now that I'm a mom, I'm the same way when I go out with dh. And even when I go places with ds I still do my makeup, hair and wear something cute. Being a mom does not mean letting yourself go and dressing like a frumpy grandma. And I thought I looked pretty damn good after having ds (we'll see how I look after this one:) so I wasn't going to cover my body in shapeless clothes.
And at the end of the day, I am a wife first. So I will always try and look nice for dh.
I quit dressing in a revealing way when I started dancing in a gentlemans club. I wanted there to be a night and day distinction between my two lives.
Now I dress the way I do out of respect for myself and my fiance. And now that I'm more conservative, I notice how trashy it looks when girls/women dress in a revealing way.
Sarah I'm not calling you jealous, but you shouldn't assume the girls who like to dress sexy are seeking attention either. That's not fair on either end. I said it was a matter of style and I didn't say you didn't have any.
No not all guys like that are pigs. There are plenty of men who view women as property and make them cover themselves and beat them. There are two sides to every story. You keep making generalizations and assumptions in people you have never met. If you don't want it done to you, you shouldn't do it either.
I'm sure you are beautiful, and you're free to like whatever clothes you want. I don't think youre a stuffy prude because of it. But i do think youre being judgmental right now. So there's no reason for you to say things about the other women here... Or anywhere.
Look past the clothes. You'll never appreciate people for who they are if you're too busy judging them.
Sarah so just because I used to show a lot of skin I was just looking for attention? I think not! I chose to wear those things because I had a nice body that I was proud of. Definitely didn't do it for attention, I didn't need anyone's approval. Not trying to argue. I just don't think you should be assuming things like that.
i definitely value modesty. i dress the way i want my daughter to dress. i wouldnt want her to show off tons of skin and all her junk and tits so i dont dress that way. a little cleavage or leg is fine at the appropriate age but no bare all outfits or skimpy stuff.
if what you are showing aint on the menu, keep it covered up.
if you dont wanna be ogled and treated likea piece of meat dont show all your goods to the whole world. if you do dont whine when they respond to it.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only conservative girl around here! Maybe I'm not the old biddy I thought I was! Whew!
I like leggings but I wear them with longer tops (tunics, long tanks) and mini dresses. I cant wear loose things on my legs unless its sweats. I just feel uncomfortable. I cant even wear flared jeans. Has to be skinnies! Shorts are different. They have to come at least two inches below my butt!
Just because I choose to dress more modest doesn't mean I'm 'frumpy'.
I have great fashion sense, and a closet full of awesome clothes. I just choose not to dress skimpy.
And the guys that I know that like girls that dress skimpy are all pigs that look at women as objects.
I refuse to be an object to a man because I am a human being.
Doesn't make me some frumpy feminist. It doesn't make me jealous. I think I'm a very beautiful girl. Not to sound conceited..
Not you! Someone else on here made a comment saying those girls were insecure.
Not trying to argue with anyone. Sticking up for both sides.
Flashy guys are the suit and tie, nice car, nice watch, like going to expensive clubs, restaurants, event guys. You can say city boy too I guess. Or metro sexuals lol
Not sure who you're arguing with, Leslie. I was only speaking for my own motivations. I really don't know what you mean by a "flashy man". But if it's anything like the guys I used to date, then I'm glad I found my hubby after my slutty dressing days were over. We all find a partner that suits our personalities. I'm glad you found yours and that he can appreciate your clothing choices.
Not all girls who dress sexy are out for attention just like not all girls that make that comment are jealous. It's a matter of style.
I'm a city girl. Many nights in DC, Miami, AC, Vegas, etc. Not all men like the same type of women. I'm a flashy girl who loves flashy men. Believe me, flashy guys don't want a frumpy modest woman.
If you're comfortable dressing sexy and your husband likes and encourages you to dress sexy, it actually speaks volumes for how secure you both are, not how insecure.
It's not nice to make assumptions about people or things you don't know. I'm not going to assume the girls against it are jealous, I'm just going guessing it's not their style.
I mean do you really think all models, actresses, singers, etc. are insecure? I highly doubt that.
Ive never ever had big breasts (34 a) so I couldn't show them off until now lol. When I wear low v neck shirts, I wear a tank top under them. Now my butt on the other hand has ALWAYS been hard to hide, so when I wear shorts my butt lifts them up more than id like so I tend to stick to Jeans most of the time, unless its summer and too hot for Jeans. Im 19 and ive always been more modest than most girls my age. I dont like showing off what I have...only to my so because he is the only one who should see it lol. Call me old fashioned if you will :p
I wish there was a way to convey modesty to our children. With today's media influence it seems impossible!
I don't fight either, but I will defend myself. I accept your truce.
I do agree with OP in some things.. I have seen so many women dressed like hookers at the clinics with their young children, moms picking up kids from school looking like theyre gonna go clubbing and its really sad. But if u r not a mom and have a nice body why dont show it off?? Im not saying that us moms cant be sexy anymore just that we need to be more conservative for our kids and of course still sexy but in a different way.
I agree indiangirl. I wish I had found my modesty sooner, but I was young and insecure and looking for attention.
Obviously it wasn't a safe assumption. I haven't called anyone slutty, neither has anyone else on this post! I was commenting on my own perspective and how, as a mother, I understand how my mother felt watching me walk around like that. Everyone is judged by appearance. Just ask Stacy and Clinton! It says a lot about who we are and how we feel about ourselves. I haven't lost my identity, I just choose to identify myself modestly.
Nope it's here somewhere. I'll bump it. I'm laughing now because of the whole "modesty" thing and my fiances costume too go figure! I can't help it. I'm an office professional all day every day. Halloween and my body building shows give me a chance to show off a body o work super hard for. Oh well!
I feel like girls that feel the need to show of a bunch of skin are insecure and trying to get attention. Men have more respect for a woman that looks sexy and sophisticated. It's called class. And having class is the sexiest thing a woman can do. Women that dress skimpy are looking for attention and have something to prove. I have a great figure, but i still dress modest, because I'm comfortable with how I look and don't need the extra attention.
I still dress sexy, but not slutty. There's classy gown sexy and there's stripper dress trashy. I have plenty of plunging neckline gowns I wear to business dinners, charity events, balls, etc. but when I'm picking my daughter up from school it's jeans and a modest top. I have way too much boob to take a chance with lol
Momma2 I don't feel foolish at all. you posted this right after I posted my picture so it was a pretty safe assumption. If you didn't mean about me that's fine too doesn't change how I feel about it. I just hate when women call other women slutty (not you specifically) or things like that based on the way they look. We are all women and we have to stop judging and saying those things about each other or men never will. No need to start a stupid argument over it
*totally just had a mean girls speech moment* would someone like to catch me as I fall into the crowd now?!
Laurele, I have no idea what you're talking about! I didn't see any of your Halloween pictures! Don't you feel foolish now! Maybe ask before assuming something next time! You do sound awfully defensive, though. Interesting...
I don't dress slutty. so I think. I wear short shorts but not up to my butt and yes unwearied snug shirts that show my figure
nothing wrong with it. and a little cleavage ne'er hurt anyone my boobs don't hang out all the way just the very top. I see nothing wrong with it. especially in the summer like now. 70 or 80 degree weather. if I wasn't very pregnant I would be wearing shorts and a nice tank top. but that's just me. I can't wait.to have lo soviet can dress for.weather again.
I assume this is aimed aimed at my recent halloween picture. Sorry but it's Halloween! For goodness sake lighten up. Not to mention I had no kids then (nor do I yet). i wouldn't wear that on a Tuesday night at dinner. Obviously I'm portraying someone specific. And frankly I think women who judge other women on their clothing are either shallow or jealous. To each her own. It's not our place to judge. just because you're a mother doesn't mean your sense of identity is gone
I don't think my child wants to see me with my boobs and bitty hanging out. You can be sexy an still be conservative. You don't have to show off a bunch of skin just to be sexy. A flowy floral dress with a cardigan and light makeup is sexy in my eyes, but it's not showing off a bunch of skin. I'm embarrassed for moms when I see them walking around in incredibly tight low rise jeans, stilletos, and low cut high rise shirt where their boobs are spilling out of it. I'll have too much respect for my child to embarrass them like that. To each their own though. This is just my opinion.
And I am not a conservative person, I just think that priorities need to change when you have children, and it's ok to care about what you look like, but going over the top is just too much for me.
Leslie, I wasn't only referring to your pictures. But it's funny how our perspectives change!
I see a difference between sexy and slutty. I can still be conservatively sexy when I get dressed up to go out with my hubby, but my slutty days are long gone.
If ya got it, flaunt it. Lol.
I see nothing wrong with dressing skimpy on Halloween to attend an adult party. Before I had my daughter I had no problem dressing skimpy most of the time but now that I've had her I try to be a little more conservative. That doesn't mean I won't show some cleavage, just means no more booty shorts. I like to think that I can still be sexy even as a mom.
I looked through my fb pics last week (im 26 this august) last year i was out partying wearing some really tacky stuff and in embarrasment i deleted my pics lol, i live and let live so other people dont bother me but me personaly cant do it anymore! And the job im striving for i think maybe it would be frowned upon
Wow! I am old! A biddy is a fussy old woman. Like an old mother hen.
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I've never met a guy that likes it when a girl dresses slutty AND still has respect for them. Just sayin.
I'm entitled to my own opinion, as are you. If you can judge, so can I.
I even said to each their own. I'm not personally referring to anyone, so don't personally refer to me, because clearly I'm not the only one that has this opinion.