Mom.life
Bexi
mommy_valkyrie_
Bexi·Мама двоих (10 лет, 14 лет)

self harming 4 year old. help **trigger warning**

Ladies I need suggestions/ insight on how to deal with this. Dh, SD (4), lo and I were walking around the mall. We told SD we would get frozen yogurt after we finished shopping. After a few minutes SD became inpatient and started asking when we were going to get our treat. I told her in a few minutes. Her response was "I want it now or I'm going to kill myself" !! Dh and I were dumfounded. Dh asked where she heard that, she replied "I can't tell you." Dh explained that when she talks like that it makes him sad. She responded with "I'm dumb. I hate myself. (As she was saying this she was trying to pull her hair out)" She's 4!! Dh and hex have split custody 50/50 since SD was born and even though we have a new baby in the house (4 months) she receives lots of attention and loves being a big sister. Dh and I make sure we take time to spend with SD one on one so she doesn't feel like she's being replaced by lo. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. Dh called hex and asked about what SD said and hex told him she "never acts like that" with her.

15.05.2015

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Hope she gets some help. I hope it's something she just heard her mother say.

21.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

I commend you for making sure you're on top of it because it seems like her mother just brushed it off.

20.05.2015 Нравится Ответить
mommy_valkyrie_
Bexi·Мама двоих (10 лет, 14 лет)

*****update*****

We spoke with sd's pediatrician and she suggested therapy. Next step, finding one who is covered by our insurance.

20.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

My friends daughter was doing that at the age of 6. She did it for attention when she wasn't getting her way or had to do chores. (At chore time she'd threaten to kill herself) It was terrible. She was put in counseling and taught that was an inappropriate way to deal with her feelings.

Hopefully she's doing something like that and not really feeling that way.

16.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

I would suggest letting her just see a counselor not a psychiatrist or psychologist. I started self harming in 3rd grade, and I learned it off tv as a way to cope. When my mom found out she cut me off from tv, computer and took me out of school. But I don't think it should be that dramatic..since she hasn't physically done anything yet. I would be persistent with counseling too because we stopped counseling after a while and at 18 I started harming myself again and had a suicide attempt. I've been "clean" for two years now and don't plan on going back to that of coping.

Good luck and you're step daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers

16.05.2015 Нравится Ответить
mommy_valkyrie_
Bexi·Мама двоих (10 лет, 14 лет)

Hex's mom just moved in with hex a few months ago. She has a history of mental instability. Its possible SD over heard something her grandma said. Hex also attempted suicide when she was pregnant with sd and has been treated for depression and PPD. Dh and I have never told SD about the suicide attempt. Ugh its just so frustrating not knowing how to help. My heart is breaking.

16.05.2015 Нравится Ответить
mommy_valkyrie_
Bexi·Мама двоих (10 лет, 14 лет)

I'm sorry this took forever for me to update. We have an appointment with lo's pediatrician Tuesday( she also treats SD) and we are going to ask about sd's behavior. I appreciate all the positive support and input. Hopefully we can figure out what's going on with SD before it escalates further

16.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

This is very scary for a 4yr old. I would seek professional help for her to figure out why this happened.

My niece has adhd and other behavioral issues. Before she was seeing a psychologist she had mentioned harming and killing herself. It could be something like that.

Hope you can figure it out!

Xo

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

If she wants to talk record it without her knowing. But DO NOT lead her on. The only thing you should say is something along the lines of its okay you can tell us. Don't ask her to talk though. Let her come to you if she wants to.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

Call 1800 4achild. (This is the nationwide US child abuse hotline) Every country has one. Google it if your not in the US. If you cant find call the police station non emergency line and get it. You need to call. Don't pry or ask questions yourself it will get you nowhere. She will just close herself off more, or react the same way she did earlier. Let the professionals handle it! That is severe signs of an abused child. That is not something that she could've just got from the TV. Not like that. My family has experience with this first hand. (My mom has taken in 3 children with similar issues) Don't put it off or brush it off as nothing. I really think something is going on.

edit* especially since she said she can't tell you. That tells me that its someone you know.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

Could her mother speak like that to her? Calling her names? I only say that because she said she can't tell you.. I would have her speak to a professional just to be sure..

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

That is is very odd behaviour for someone of any age. The fact she is only 4 and saying things like that is very worrisome.

I think you and your husband need to have a conversation with her mother and find the appropriate steps to deal with this. It definitely should not be ignored.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

I don't think she heard that on TV ..... please seek help for her ...

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

No advice, but I hope its just something she heard on TV. :-(

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

It's strange that she said she "couldn't tell you" where she heard it. Did you tell her that she shouldn't keep secrets like that from you guys? Somebody had to teach her that. I wouldn't think she would learn to hide things from you from TV.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

Poor baby.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

There's something going on

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить
mommy_valkyrie_
Bexi·Мама двоих (10 лет, 14 лет)

She starts Pre school in the fall. I'm assuming she heard it on TV or something. But the pulling her hair out is concerning.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

My niece done this once to me. It shocked me but I have realized that it's an attention thing.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

Or is she in preschool that she could have heard it?

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить

Awe that is sad. Maybe she saw it on a TV show or something? I know my son picks up on everything and he's only 3.

15.05.2015 Нравится Ответить
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