I am so passionate about this...
"A parent needs to fill a child's bucket of self esteem so high that the rest of the world cannot poke enough holes in it to drain it dry."
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Happywife I couldnt have said it better myself! I fully agree with getting your love cup filled and your self esteem built at home, i grew up with a mentally and physically abusive mother, and still to this day at 31 years old I struggle in relationships, raising my own children, and everyday life because of how my mom treated me. Not saying its an excuse for my short comings, but the way your treated growing up has a huge effect on your emotional health as an adult. But with kids getting trophies, awards, prizes just for showing up is doing more harm than good. To me its teaching children that they dont have to even put effort in to get awarded, which as adult is not something that you want to believe. Kids need to learn that if you dont work hard then you dont get results you wanted! And even if you try your best, you still may fall short and thats ok too! Hard lesson to learn but a much needed lesson!
I agree that positivity starts at home. Creating a warm, welcoming, inviting home life will give the child a place to turn to when the outside waters get rough.
I do think though that the idea of building a child's self esteem has unfortunately swung too far. The whole idea of participation trophies so as not to hurt a child's feelings, pre-school, kindergarten, grade school graduation ceremonies that sort of thing. Children need to realize that although the accomplishment is something to be proud of, it is also something that is expected. You don't get a ceremony for every little thing. Same with sports, music competitions etc. You don't always win and that's okay. Learning to lose graciously and be a good sport and STILL feeling good with your effort is just as important.
Let's fill the bucket. But let's also teach that no one's child bucket is more important or more worthy than another.
Love love love!!!
Love is the best action in all things. You can discipline and still show love, you can even be sad or angry etc and still show love. If you show love in everything that you do(parenting) it WILL be alright. Remember love is an action word you can't just say it you have to live it because it surpasses all things.
Love is....joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness and temperance....
.....imo we should be trying to show/teach these daily
(I've posted this comment before but it's the truth and great actions to live by)..great post op