Don't see it as an obligation that my daughter go but my husband and I have begun saving $500 a month in a college savings fund for her. We will definitely raise her in a way that promotes the importance education and a love of learning but I also want her to be able to make her own decision one day.

I grew up thinking college was a mandatory step in life, and was fine with that. I thought that if you wanted any level of comfort and ending up where you wanted to be in life, you needed college. A college degree equaled the only route to a happy, well-adjusted adulthood. My father was an army officer with a bachelor's and two master's degrees under him, and did a bit of professor work himself. We weren't rich, but I had a comfortable childhood full of opportunity, which I am thankful for.

Come high school, I earned myself $17,500ish in college scholarships. Sounds like a lot? Well, it's a lot of money, but it really only put a dent in my college expenses, which my parents willingly paid for. For the next three years, I flitted between three different majors (art education, interpreting for the Deaf, photography), with dean's list grades the second two of those years and involved in student government one of them, before deciding that I wanted to take a wee bit of time off to figure out what I really wanted to major in once and for all. Welp, in that first semester off, I got pregnant. Then married in the spring. And that was that. I haven't set foot in college since. And my husband? He'd did some time in college majoring in some sort of management stuff, then started to study something like electrical engineering (I don't exactly remember the title of the majors), before backing out of college like I did. We met as retail employees, co-workers. Humble beginnings, barely making minimum wage.

So, where are we now? We're 30 (me) and.35 (him) years old. He went on to study a trade, welding, which he reasonably enjoys, and works for a company he's very happy with (John Deere). In a stay at home mom. He'd like to eventually work his way into management or engineering, and the company will pay for at least some, if not all, schooling there, but the timing isn't right right anytime soon, that that's a longer-term goal. In the meantime, he makes a surprisingly impressive income for no degree. I can easily stay at home and raise the kids, we can easily pay bills amd.our mortgage, work on that nest egg, and pay for some nice things to accent life like horseback therapy for one of our sons, and my dream camera to hopefully get me a leg up into a bit of photography on the side eventually, things like that. Our household income is more comfortable than what my father brought in at my husband's age with his multiple degrees (granted, he makes quite a bit more now, with a few more decades of career under his belt). My best friend jas a master's degree and has worked in her field.for several years now, and my husband's income is thrice hers. sister has multipe degrees, and my husband makes over double what she does. My husband sisters and bil also each have degrees and our lifestyle is roomier. In a few of the cases I mentioned above, finances are a HUGE and very stressful issue (not saying which for privacy). Not that money is everything, it certainly is not, but my point is that degreeless, my husband and I are sitting quite securely, more securely than those we're close to with degrees. We are not wealthy, but we have a nice little niche in life carved out, and are extremely satisfied with our little spot. From this I've learned that college isn't necessarily the ticket to beibg where you want and having security in adulthood.

Both my husband and I were late diagnosed with ADD. I still managed to do well with grades (in some areas my husband did, in others not so much). We both have the smarts to understand college material easily, but both struggled deeply with the organizational side of things. Sometimes, I felt like college wasn't for me. I could have succeeded well there, but it never felt like the right fit. I think, in reflection, that I personally learned and matured much more outside if college walls than in them. I think of the money--several tens of thousands of dollars--that my parents spent on my college, and I feel really bad about it. I feel like it was wasted. My parents insist that it's okay, but I still feel bad that they put out that much money for essentially naught. For many, college education was just just right for them, but I don't think that necessarily rings true for all, and that's okay.

These days, my feelings towards higher education have developed a bit if a different direction than those which I held when I was younger. I certainly respect a college education and the many important careers that come of them, but I also realize that there are other branches in life out there that can bring an equal amount of satisfaction and security, and just as crucial positions to helping the world go 'round. The are places for both paths. Also, neither route (college or not) is a guaranteed ticket punched to a fulfilling adulthood. I know many people on both sides who are feeling in a rut, like they're spinning their wheels and can't pull ahead, or even downright struggling hard and and in a really unpleasant spot. In some cases, baggage from college expenses are a part of the burden. In other circumstances, lack of education and the immeadiate ease to make time or resources to go is a problem. Likewise, I know peple both with higher educations and without, who feel absolutely happy and on top of the world with life. Some of it depends on the individual and personal drive and personality, some of it depends on the opportunities chosen or in front of them. With my own kids, I would be happy if they sought degrees and found the life of their dreams with them, but I'd be equally proud of them and happy if the found the same level of happiness sans a further education.

My oldest has a huge fascination with biology, always has, and I could see him find a great spot for himself in a field there. I image such would require a degree. My middle son has some disabilities, and though I think none will be too apparent by adulthood, I do wonder if academics will be a harder point for him. At present, he lags behind his peers developmentally. He is making a lot of progress (a lot! :-) ), but a big worry of mine is how he will feel when he starts hitting an age where school takes up a more important part of life, and his academic success or struggle shapes a big part of his day. I hope I can help him find ways to feel successful, fufulled, and full of confidence during those years where academics can be shaping to who one feels they are. Of course I want him to try hard, but I know that academics may not be the road that will mold and give him direction, and if that's the case, I want him to find a path despite so, a path that gives him a life that brings him a sense of joy and a proper fit. I know it's possible. Our youngest is a few days old, so it will be interesting to see who he blossoms into, and with all three of them, where their interests and opportunities will take them, college or not.

If they need help and a few years past age 18 to grow up a little more before taking flight in life, that's okay, so long as they're continuing to try to live productive and self-progressive lives, not simply mooching. I lived with my parents while I went to school, and then that next semester that I didn't, until I got married (age 22). I lived a pretty tame life, abided by my parents, and the arrangement was fine with them. I wasn't an undue burden, was an active member of the family, and I would be welcoming to my children if their situation was similar, college or not. I would be less okay with the arrangement, in either case of college or not, if they simply closed themselves up their bedroom, and demanded use of family resources without being an interactive and rule-abusing member of the family with some ideas and direction in life. I will gladly help them follow that direction, whatever it may be, if they are active in their personal efforts with it and they treat me with kind respect as their loving, helping mother. Show no motivation, treat us badly while generally taking advantage, etc, and I'd be far less inclined to support them. I'd love them, try to be an emotional source of support and have open arms when they're ready to be a team player, but as far as physical resources go, collegiate or not, they need to behave with respect and some responsibility that shows they are capable by doing well by the aid offered them.

I want my son to go to college but I will not force him because a college degree doesn't guarantee anything anymore these days. I know lots of people with masters degrees who work in the mall or target because their degrees are worthless. They are in thousands of dollars of debt that they can't pay either.

I won't require dd to go to college, but I will encourage her. I went to college right out of high school and ended up hating it. so I dropped out after two semesters and haven't regretted it since. Now I'm attending Brown Mackie for my Medical Assisting degree. While she is in high school I plan on encouraging her to look into concurrent enrollment or a program at a technical school that she can attend while in high school. In my area it's free as long as they are in highschool. Dh did that and he's now a machinist making great money. That way she will either have her first two years of college taken care of, or a good trade field to get into. I will help her in anyway I can as long as she is in school, working, or both.

Not an obligation. I've seen too many people continue school after HS (my dh included) and not be able to find a job in their field. But if they really want to go and I can see their passion and determination for it I will support them.

I have about the same view as you, squishy.

I hope they choose college, but I won't try to force them in to it.

Sorry but you can't force your kid to go to college. They will, more or less, be an adult at that time. And why would you? What if they want to pursue something that doesn't require a college education? I was accepted into university and then got a job offer I knew I couldn't pass up, so I took the job instead. I had an amazing career up until I had dd, I made great money and never regretted turning down uni. The job allowed me to move out of my parents and be on my own, and I learned a ton about responsibility and life in general. I got to do a lot more than my friends in school. Everyone I know in college/uni is horribly in debt and many of them have completed their degrees but don't even have jobs. A lot of the people I know who went to college right out of high school ended up changing their minds after a year or so and now do completely different things. My dh went to college and graduated 10 years ago, is still paying off student loans and has no interest in doing what he went to college for, so he has that degree for nothing. I don't know. Ultimately I think it's a waste of money unless you are 100% passionate about doing something requiring a certain degree, but a lot of kids out if high school have no idea really, hence why so many I know dropped out to take something else or just dropped out period to purse jobs. If my dd wants to go, that's completely up to her but we won't be paying for it.

I just want my daughter to be happy.

For my children it will be up to them. If we can we will help provide for books and supplies but it will be up to them to work towards a scholarship or self pay.

Average resident tuition at a state university for 2013-2014 was around $10,000 per year

We have a bank account set up for our children if they do decide to go. If they don't, then we will probably hold onto the money for a while and invest it in something else and give it to them once they have children.

And college isn't that expensive when you are paying out of pocket instead of loans. Loans are why people are stuck paying thousands of dollars they can't pay off. Loans are horrible and I don't want my children to be stuck with them.

If my kids want to college, that's great! If they don't, I will try to push them to do so. But regardless of what their degree is, as long as it's something they love,I'll be more than happy to help out financially, college is expensive now a days!

But even if they don't go, I wouldn't kick them out of my house. My kids are more than welcome to live with me as long as needed, they are my babies.

I hope they go if they NEED it? For example my fiancé works on cars and wants to go for interior design so he can do the interior and other details on cars. I could also see him going for installing stereos and sound systems too. that will make him happy AND earn him a great income. So if they wanna do something like that I will gladly support them! :) I agree that I wouldn't if they didn't even know what they want or need.

I hope my kids go to college and we do discuss with them already the importance of it (7 and 9 years old) however, college is not for everyone. We will not pay for their college though. We will help them out but scholarships, financial aid and loans will be how they pay for it.

In my house GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL WILL BE A MUST!!! As long as you living under my roof you will graduate! And that will determine if I help financially or not, As far as college goes, I will DEFINETLY give my child my opinion on how I think he/she should DEFINETLY go but this will be their choice! College isn't for everybody, and as long as my child is doing something positive like working or decide to go to the military etc and not just sitting around being a bum then I will not force them to go to college, ALTHOUGH I WANT MY CHILD TO GO, what mother wouldn't ? But this will be their decision!

College shouldn't be forced. I have several friends who have gone, graduated with their degrees and no career path to choose from with said degree. And are working minimum wage jobs paying back student loans. Seriously. Go to a reputable college/trade school. And choose a major you know what it does and were it takes you. Don't spend 60k to 100k or more on pointless degrees where you still can't make more than minimum wage because you felt pressured in to school.

I don't care the degree or majors they choose. As long as it leads to a real job.

The school as long as it's reputable.

As for paying it. We will do our best to help as long as they take it seriously. But they won't be with out student loans sadly. If they use college as some party hardy and aren't doing well no we won't help. That kind of money isn't for playing.

I will support not going to school and going straight to the work field. I will support going into military. I will support going to a trade school, college, university. I will not support lazy freeloaders

I am 100% on the same page as you, squishy. ?

I hope they go to college but they dont have to. As long as they make a plan or find a good job that would be okay. I wouldn't want them to be in huge debt over school and then end up working a crappy job where they cant use their degree. If they want to live with us they will support themselves and pay rent lol unless they r in school. What i dont want is bums on my couch. This applies to my son and my daughters. Their dad is military, if nothing else they can join the military. :) i will also want to help them financially only if they are helping themselves and doing something for their future. I'm not supporting bums, bad habits, or partying.

I hope she goes to college IF she wants to. I will never force her or make it seem like she HAS TO go. My parents and SO'Ss parents pressured us and both just went because we felt obligated. I wasted my time and quit after a year and a half. And I now know years later what I'm really passionate about. And financially, I'd try to help as much as I can. If that means helping find scholarships or if she qualifies for grants. Helping her or any of my future kids get the information they need. We've also been putting money aside for college.

We will be saving $232/month total for college. That's $116 per twin. That'll give us 25k for tuition for each kid by the time they're 18. They can go in state and get a good degree for that amount. We will not be paying for out of state tuition, or giving them the 25k for private college unless they get massive scholarships to go with it. I will to the best of my ability keep them from signing up for loans. If they want to study music (I did) fine- they must also study business if they're not studying music education. They still will only have 25k for school, though, so they'll need to get out in 4 years. Any further degrees are on them. They will be expected to go to college, or to trade school.

If they go to a military university (like Daddy) and it's paid for- then they may have the 25k once they graduate with the stipulation that it is for a house.

Once they're 18- if they're both girls we will save $120/month per girl so that we will have 10k each for a wedding by the time they're 25. If they get married before they're 25 then they get whatever we've saved up to that point for them. I don't want to see my kids go into debt for college or for weddings if we can help it. They can spend some or all of the money on a wedding, and save the left over amount. We save quite a bit in addition to those numbers every month for when hubby retires.

Edit to add: If they fail out they have to pay us back. Mean, yes. But if it helps keep them from partying and flunking I'll be mean. They will also have strict allowances and be expected To have jobs during undergrad like I did, to pay for extras that aren't essential.

It is up to my children. My mom has tried forcing my brother into the military since he graduated high school, just like she did with me. Three weeks ago, she gave him an ultimatum that he had to join the military or he had to leave. And thank goodness he left. Now he already has a great job and my mom keeps bugging me and wants me to talk to him for her since she cut his phone line off and can't contact him herself. I told her, "well that's what you get for giving your child an ultimatum".

Our children will be able to chose if and what they want to study. I went to college (and worked for a little) but now am I sahm and dh, who didn't go to college, has a job that can support us. We will help them as much as we can financially during college. But if they decide not to go to college they either need to be working and saving or they will not he allowed to continue living at home. We will not have a 20 something kid living with us, working 20 hours a week and playing video games.

My parents made me go to college and paid for it/ supported me while there. By the time my younger brother was 18 the economy had changed and they decided he didn't have to go but they made him look for a good job, which he found.

When I found out I was pregnant I started saving cash for my baby's college fund. Yes, I will encourage my children to go to college (assuming they have a passion that college would benefit) but, if they choose not to, its ok. College isn't for everyone. The money we saved for them can go toward a car or a home; once they're 18 it's THEIR money.

If they DID go to college, aside from the cash I already have set aside, I'd help them out a bit of course but the bulk of what's left after financial aid would be on them.

My situation was similar to fcruz. I was the first to attend a university and paid my way through scholarships, student loans, and 2 jobs. And although I am now a SAHM (for the time being) those are years I would never take back. Personally I feel it's important, and will be even more so when they are of graduating age. We have funds set up for both of them for college/trade schools if they wish to attend. If not then they forfeit it. I won't disown them or anything, lol, but we will be disappointed in that decision.

I would encourage my children to pursue an education. There are many resources available to help with tuition and the cost of books, parking permits, etc.

Before I had my degree my options were limited as to where I can work. Most entry level positions I had to take trash out and mop floors and I did it at the moment because there wasn't another choice. But now I can make a comfortable pay, work mon-fri, summers off, and a sense of pride that I completed an education.

But I would never look down on someone who didn't take that route such as dh. He makes a very comfortable living for us and he is from a different country, English is his second language, and no degree.

So yes I will help my child reach there education goals financially and would not look down on anyone who didn't choose to further their education.

We are saving up for our child's college/future. College isn't mandatory but they will need to have a plan after hs bc they can't live with us, unless they are in school.

I will do everything I can to prep my child to make their post-high school decision. I want to make sure they are informed about all their options and what is out there. The thing I regret the most is how uninformed and naive I was about all my options. I didn't know what I wanted to be, so I chose something I knew and realized down the road that there were options I liked even better. I ended up with a great job but I feel like I missed out on my dream job because I found out about it too late when I was already so invested in something else.

I know that college is not the only route to a good job. But, I want my child to have a good life doing something they enjoy, and that rarely happens on minimum wage. If they find a vocational route they like better, that's fine. I just want to them be happy.

I've put my self through college and now university with no help from my parents with school however they didn't make me pay rent or bills..

I will most likely be doing the same with my kids I do however expect them to have a job that pays for their wants and things like phone bill and gas..

Them not trying for an education is not an option if they decide they don't like it then they can be on their own and not go

My dad was adamant that my sister and I go to college. She went and got a degree in Archeology and a minor in something else...can't remember. She lives in a one room shack, playing WOW, and working part time in a back room at a Library.

I didn't go to college and before I got pregnant and decided to be a SAHM I owned a successful horse training business, leased a home with 40 acres, and made good money. Now I'm married with one toddler and a baby on the way. Married to a man also without a degree who makes more in 6 months then most college graduates make in a year.

My dad changed his mind about the college thing. I put money away for my children's education, but if they choose not to I won't be disappointed. Your not a better person than anyone else for going to college you know? The pressure to go in today's society is ridiculous and it doesn't guarantee a better life either.

No obligation. Dh will divide his GI bill between them to help them. I would encourage them to actually take a year or so off between high school and college. I would also encourage them to take a 4year enlistment in the military if that's something they are considering.

We put money away for college for our son a few times a year, if he goes then he will have money to go. If he doesn't, than mommy and daddy are taking a nice vacation somewhere niiice with that money lol

My husband and I both think education is very important. We are going to get funds set up to help our kids pay for School but they will still have to pay for some of it. We will stress either college, the military, or a trade school for each of our children that we have. In the end, it is our children's choice about what they will do with their life and we shall support them no matter what they decide to do .

I REALLY want my kids to go to college, though I won't be upset if they don't. My plan is to pay for all or most of their college.

I also think college can sometimes hamper people more than better them. It would be hard for me to support a career choice that isn't in high demand especially. I know way to many people with degrees and can't get jobs, while in an insane amount of debt. Df dropped out of high school at 16, but eventually got is ged. He never went to college, and yet he supports 2 kids, and one on the way while I get to be a sahm. He currently makes 90k annually with amazing benefits. We are debt free besides our house we just purchased. He is doing far better than the majority our friends our age that have their degrees. I hate the idea that you MUST go to college to be successful. I think id feel a lot differently about it if the expenses weren't so ridiculous as they are here in the US compared to other countries like Finland especially.

Then I hate to be sexist, but it's sadly true. I believe it's more essential that a woman goes to college vs a man. Men have far more options with good paying labor jobs that don't require degrees.

I wouldn't care either way if they decided to go to college or not, just as long as they were trying to better themselves. As far as paying for it, obviously the extent would depend on our financial situation at the time...and I agree the type of degree could be a factor. However I definitely wouldn't go overboard like some parents do by giving their kids credit cards. I think it's extremely important that they learn to manage their own expenses than just given a credit card for everything. I know some that even allow the card to be used on excessive things like expensive clothes, unnecessary traveling/spring break parties, unnecessary electronics. I would probably just contribute some to the tuition, but probably not all of it.

Non- negotiable for our children.

They will go to college and compete college.

We have 529 plans for both children and have had since they were born.

If you are going to save for retirement. Why wouldn't you save for college too?

It will be paid for by us but to teach the value of $$ they will have to take out 1-2 small loans and pay them back out of pocket to learn discipline and consequences with their credit and money.

I totally agree with you, OP. My husband and I have had discussions about how we will manage things when our children are older and facing the decision of what they will do with their life, and we always say the same things.

I don't think college is necessary or right for every person. I am going to be happy with whatever my children choose as long as it is something they can use to support themselves and eventually their own families, but I do not plan on handing them some guaranteed college fund unless they are trying to do something worthy.

You want to go to school to become an engineer, doctor, nurse, teacher, etc? Great, how can I help.

You have a job offer at a good company that offers benefits and promotions, something you could make a career of without extra schooling? Great, how can I help.

You want to waste your time "discovering" yourself at an expensive college while having no real end goal as to what you are to become? Pay for that sh** on your own lol!

Not a requirement in our house. If she chooses to go, I'll help her as much as I can provided she's dedicated. I won't help her play beer pong and fail classes. If she chooses not to go to college, she'll have to be working full time or find somewhere else to live.

I think education is a big deal and I will be very strict on that. I cannot force them to go to college, but its something they should definitely consider.

You can't get a good paying job without school these days. So imagine what it would be like when they grow up.

In my moms house if you want to be financially supported then yes you have to go to college. If you don't you better get out there and find a job that will financially support you. That's how it's always been.

Interesting topic. It's not an obligation, but I have to be honest, I will be absolutely crushed if they don't. Don't know how I'll hide that if they say they're not going when the time comes. Education is very important to me. But dh wants them all to live with us and go to a local college (to save $). We plan on paying for it. But I want them to live in dorms, go to a college a few hrs away, gain some independence.

Interesting idea, I don't think I've seen this one before.

Definitely not an obligation, for me. It's their choice. I plan to help them financially, but also to help them understand how much they will be taking on, and exactly what that means for them. It wouldn't matter to me what degree they chose. I would probably be a little bit concerned if they didn't go to college, but that's their choice. If they don't want to go when we are willing to help them, then they will have to foot the whole bill if they decide to go later in life.