Who else has a MIL aka boyfriend's mother, that just makes you feel like your opinion doesn't matter or you have no say in certain things?? because your not married to her son. Like your not part of their family!
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So this is how I handle this. When me and her son got together and had children we are now a family. She is now second and we come first and that is just how it goes. So with that being said it isnt about respecting elders. You should respect everyone but respect is earned, not just given so if you disrespect me and my house then that is what you get. How is this handled?? By my husband. He handles his family and I handle mine. If he allows you to be disrespected by anyone then you problem isnt with them, your problem is with your husband and where his loyalty is. Example. My MIL said one day after I had served my son some turkey hotdogs, bananas and crackers that I needed to cut the hotdog smaller and give him a spoon because a fork is too sharp, mind you he is 3 and this is how I do it anyways at home. So after she said that, I simply said. "No, he is fine" to which she turned to his dad and said "Hey L, dont you think he should have smaller pieces and a spoon, that forks looks kinda sharp and he answers " What did Bee say??" and looked straight at her. Point being he is my partner, we are the parents and she is given the awesome opportunity to be a grandma. It is not something I have to do. It is my choice to allow that relationship. So, If you respect my place then I will respect yours but i dont have to give anyone respect that doesnt do the same in return regardless of age. 🤗🤗
@lezlie527, same here my husband is learning you give respect to get it and as a wife or mother of your child I feel like protection is key moms be thinking they gnna follow there foot steps forever there's a time to let go i honestly would get my own place we use to live with both I feel your madness
That's the thing, I'm trying to move. We all live on the same street she does. When he was looking for a house, she kept saying it has to be on the same street. I luckily was able to find one on the other street. She refuses to let her kids leave the nest!! Like lady he made his own family already, he loves his family and aside from how his mom is. Their all family oriented something my family doesn't have anymore. And I love that.. just can't stand his mom sometimes, she thinks she can tell me how to raise my kids. She even gets in her youngest sons business who's 19 and had a baby. He has issues with his gf and runs to his mom. His gf talked to me and told me his mom texted him and told him that if he didn't want to be with her to leave her and they will take her to court for child custody. I was like wtf!! Is she not a mother?? Another note, he rarely ever sees his son because he's always out with his friends, they don't live together and he can barely take care of the baby himself because he gets frustrated. I wish she would try to do that to me, Lord knows I will lose my shit and go off!!
@lezlie527, I avoid her as much as possible. Interaction to a minimum, so I try to avoid family functions and draw boundaries, I try not to give her the satisfaction of what she says to bother me. But most important I tell my boyfriend to have my back. Me and the baby are his new family, if anything its the MILs opinion that doesn’t matter
@beemommyof3 how so?? Please I need advice in how to deal with her. I've always been thought to never disrespect my elders, and I have been speaking up and having an opinion but lord!! I'm ready to grab my family and move far enough to wear we only see her once a week at most.
@adams2017 I'm honestly glad he been standing up for me. They were talking about refinancing or whatever. Note: I HAD said prior how we need to fix the pool and she says yeah like you fixed the cabinets and cleaned the house to well. Oh he'll no! #1 she always makes it clear it not my house, her daughter is a pig and use to have the dogs inside the house. So just imagine how the living room and kitchen look. The kitchen isn't finished and she had the nerve to say it like it's my job. And her daughter is just suppose to sit around while we clean the nasty ass mess she let her dogs create. Well they were talking about the house and she said he had to fix the pool and o immediately said they have to fix the pool. Well moved on and he asked me what color should we paint it?? She got an attitude real quick and said why are you asking her? She thought he ask my opinion of what color to paint the house. He said in paying for it right so I'm going to ask her.. she's like paying for what.he says the pool. Her tone changed immediately after he gave her attitude and says.. ohhh what color should you guys paint it. He is a mama's boy but he's learning how his mom is towards me and has been standing up for me.. I'm proud of my man. But in her eyes family comes first and yeah I'm not part of it. If
Even when your married it's like that it's mommas boy thing just be glad it's only MIL I tend to have both MIL and Grandmother issues at @lezlie527, times but I stand my ground and speak my mind so maybe that has a lil to do with it lol
Sorry so long and so late. I was on the road