@johnsonarriel24 thanks, I hope so..

@morgan.k That makes perfect sense thank you I never would have thought about that and that's how I feel too I kind of feel like I'm resenting the baby and I hate feeling like that it's not the poor baby's fault but yeah very good insight there I never ever would have thought of that. And I was with my husband for 12 years and I didn't want to leave him I was devastated but things were so bad at that house that I was sick of my kids witnessing it and hearing it and everyone hated me so I had to leave and I regret it but anyways I had two kids with him and I never felt like this I was always extremely happy and excited and with this one that's the complete opposite for one thing the pregnancies really rough I am suffering big time over here and plus it's a boy which I'm not happy about and plus and also ashamed to say this but I've been with this guy for two years and I don't feel any love for him but he's madly in love with me and all day long he tells me that he loves me and of course I say I love you too but nobody can compare to my husband nobody I won't be able to love another guy again I just can't do it there's nobody can compare to my husband and I don't know so I feel horrible about that he doesn't know that I feel that way and I really don't want him to find out cuz I would be hurting his feelings really bad but this is life this is just another big mistake that I've done with my life on top of countless other mistakes honestly I do not want to have a kid with this guy he's controlling he gets a violent he's hit me a few times and the shit that he says to me when we were arguing is shocking then he comes back with the oh I was just trying to say anything to hurt your feelings and I'm like okay but you say that every time we fight you see the same things so you can't tell me that's not how you feel I don't know I just I've been with him for 2 years and I still can't look him in the eyes I've always had a huge problem being affectionate anyways just because of my childhood but I'm always getting yelled at by him about the whole affection thing. He's he is mad because I never make the first move and go to him first he always has to come to me I never make the first move as far as sex goes and everything the first 6 months I started dating him and moved in here I was a raging alcoholic and I couldn't handle being with him all I thought about was my husband and so I drank every day just to deal with the issues but after 6 months of that crap I quit because I don't know how I was just getting sick of it it wasn't fun anymore drinking by yourself sucks I used to be the life of the party when I was younger and anymore so I did something to myself too I don't think I can ever drink again because I used to take shots of the Admiral Nelson's hundred-proof and I would Chase it with a coffee and just thinking about it turns my stomach and if I watch intervention or something and I see him taking shots I can't even handle watching it so I ruined that for myself which I really don't care I used to love to drink I loved it and now like grossed out about it it's really weird. Sorry about the rant, I'm manic today, gotta love being bipolar!

Everything will be jus fine momma😊@abreton666

Wait a minute, maybe you have a point here maybe I'm not so happy about this because I'm not having the baby with my husband because it's was another guy..I never wanted to leave my husband or my two children it wasn't because of them that I left it was his parents, so maybe I'm just unhappy with the person I'm having the baby with maybe it would be different if I was having the baby with my husband, I never thought about that..that actually might make sense thank you!

Yes, it is.. I'm not happy about that either..