This isn't the easiest thing to talk about but maybe it will help someone .... the first picture you see my son was just…

This isn't the easiest thing to talk about but maybe it will help someone .... the first picture you see my son was just a few days old & I wish I knew what was sneaking up on me fast & hard ... I wish I would've saw the signs sooner. I honestly wish I would've told someone how I was feeling... yes I'm talking about the awful PPD . 🙄 I already started feeling uhhhh "not myself " I pushed it off "I'm just getting use to motherhood . "Illl be okay" " I need to be strong for Abel " all I was doing was falling deeper and deeper . I didn't want to get out of bed , I would have nightmares that would keep me up all night . I didn't leave the house & I didn't want anyone around Abel . I started pushing everyone away . I guess I didn't want them to see what was going on with me .. Mark would ask me all the time if I was okay ? "Yes I'm just tired" or " WHAT WOULD BE WRONG WITH ME" ? I started so many fights with him over anything. So my relationship started going down hill with everything else . All because I was "ok" I wouldn't even talk to my family or friends. I didn't want anyone in my life other than Abel . Everyone kept telling me I wasn't acting like myself ! What do they know ? They are just trying to be a ass . I thought everyone was against me ... well one day I woke up and didn't want to feel this way anymore , I knew this wasn't Samantha . I didn't want Abel to see me cry everyday . I didn't want to lose the people that meant the most to me . Well I already did ..mark & I was broken up because he couldn't take the fighting ..& everyone else was done with me blowing them off or being a bitch .. . but I went to the doctor & I told him how I was feeling put me on a pill helped for a little while started going to a new doctor put me on some other stuff didn't help them some more new stuff well a year later I found a medicine that helps me . Yes it was hard getting put on new pills every other day & seeing no hope in sight . But I promise you can have the light at the end of the tunnel.... now in the other two pictures I am happy ... truly happy 😊 mark & I are stronger than ever .. we moved into our own place. Abel is much happier. & im slowing working on all the broken relationship I broke.. its hard but please don't give up . Please talk to someone before it gets to bad . It okay not to be okay . Being a mother is hard , being a wife is hard , being a friend & a daughter is HARD ! Take time to heal & seek the help you need not only for the people around you but for yourself. Yes I'm on medication it helps me feel normal again & maybe some day I won't need it . But I hated myself... I hated the life I was living . I hated that I couldn't be happy about anything . & now I'm enjoying life an it is rubbing off on everyone around me 😏🤗

****Sorry for the long rent ******. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️