So I have this friend she isn't talking to me cus I told her that she isn't making good choices 4 her daughter she got with this new dude he has no job , and got 1 kid taken from cps, he is a felon but hey I doint judge felons there are many who go and do good after felony and move on doing better in life .. but he isn't like that she moved in with him and m over her 9 month old daughter 2 she is lying saying that is her baby dad . I called her out cus before this guy she was with the bd he was a tweaker and beat her and she wouldn't leave him . I feel like she is making bad choices I don't even care to see my friend put her daughter thru another bad relationship.. So she hasn't talk to me in 2 weeks because I told her how I feel about him and her choices .. so u upset . Do u think a good friend would sit back and say nothing ?? Ugh I need new friends!!
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@moromama its a complicated story to explain. My kids were taken because my ex lied and said my current husband broke her arm on purpose and when they came to talk to me about it I flipped out so they painted me as this unstable person and that's why my kids were taken from me.
@believeinbuddha wow wait he broke her arm and got custody or your new dude broke arm . Why are they taken if you aren't the one who broke her arm ..
@moromama well normally you have to take a set of 12 parenting classes which are two hours long once a week. Then you have to have three individual counseling sessions and a hand full of supervised visits to complete the reunification process. But in my case this is what I've been through: two weeks after they were taken last year I saw them for a two hour visit at a building in another location than where I see them now, then once they were in their dads custody I saw them once more a month after that. I began the parenting classes and completed five of them before being told that my services were terminated. Meaning I was no longer part of the reunification process. No one could tell me why and according to everyone I spoke with I had never seen my kids since they were taken because there was no record. So then after going back to court six months later once they could get me a court date I told the judge what happened and that my ex wasn't allowing me to see my kids and they told him to comply. That was in April of this year and I've seen one of my kids once the other twice and my youngest I haven't seen still since they were first taken. I'm going back to court soon because he still isn't complying with my one 45 minute visit a month. And I'm paying for transcripts of my visits that I have had which there's a record of (only two out of four) so I can bring that evidence with me to court that my kids like being around me and that I'm doing well with them. I just need to show the courts that I am stable and then I should be able to fight for custody back. But I am being kept in the dark about everything which is frustrating. So when I go back to court in a few months I will ask them what's going on.
@chocolatemomma yes like don't bring hella dudes I stayed si angle for 5 years never brought dudes over well at least when she was home lol . I didn't want her to see different men in her life
@moromama it takes all the strength I have not to let it destroy me. But I wasn't in a good place when they were taken and looking back on it from the perspective of where I am at now I can see that everything that happened was for the best. And when I do get my kids back I will deserve it and they will be safe and that's what matters.
@believeinbuddha cps don't play 😣 u must be so hurt to be away from your kids
@moromama I guess I got lucky. I met my current husband two days after I finally got the courage to call the cops on my ex after he choked me almost to death then tried to leave with our kids. I'm so glad that I didn't have to go through that alone and that I had my man there with me. Facing my ex in court would have been impossible without him by my side. I hope it works out for her. Maybe they will help each other better themselves.
@believeinbuddha it did make me stronger . But I did almost lose my daughter for having her around abuse that's why I divorced him sometimes we have to sacrifice as mothers to make good choices for kids .
@believeinbuddha that is so true my ex husband was abusive I been thru alot and finally have someone who treats me good but I had to make a decision to be single until a good solid man that was healthy for my daughter came along
@believeinbuddha I'm glad your situation turned out good hun .. but all I can do is pray for her but i have been friends with her for a long time and I have picked her up so many times with her exes where they have beat her or on drugs or cheated on her it's a cycle but not her choices effect her daughter so I spoke up finally
@moromama I believe everything happens for a reason. The bad to strengthen us and the good to reward us
@moromama well I'm trying to tell you that my situation is very similar to hers. My and my current husband both were bad people who made bad choices. But together we helped each other. My point is just; you never know who will change your life!
@believeinbuddha I'm worried about her getting her daughter taken from her cus of the lifestyle she is living . I love her I told her I just care for her and support her but he is dangerous
@believeinbuddha she deserves the best so does her daughter she went thru hell with her kids dad and she is settling just to have someone . He lost his kids for poor decisions not accident. He also can't support himself or a child.. He treats her bad 2 so I'm not judging and your situation is different then hers I'm being a good friend . She has went thru 5 dudes in this past year now settling for this one she can't just stay single a little bit and better herself
@moromama I lost my three older kids and it was my current husbands fault. He accidentally broke my daughter's arm while helping her not realizing his strength. And i refused to hold that against him because mistakes happen and everyone else in my life told me to leave him and that if I didn't I didn't love my kids. It just makes me frustrated when I see people assuming things and judging people based on things happening. People are capable of change! My husband and I are a perfect example of that
@believeinbuddha he lost his son to cps and lost other child to the mother and she thinks he will be a good dad to her daughter I just told her there are red flags with dude and I'm worried about her and love her and be careful
It's not judging at all it's the fact that he has lost a child. I was all for him until he left her stranded withbher daughter the other night and then told her to leave .. then they made up . I have had my share of bad exes and went thru alot with my daughter's dad but this girl moved from Hawaii back to Sacramento with one bag of clothes for her and her daughter with dude.
My friends and family did the same thing to me when I left my abusive ex husband and got with my current husband. they said I was making bad choices and didn't think he was right for me. He is a felon as well and when I met him he was a drug addict as well (on pills) well we helped each other get sober and now we have our own baby and are doing amazing in life way better than we were before we met each other. I don't think you should judge anyone for their circumstances. We are all trying to live life the best way we know how. I'm sure she has issues with being alone and just wants to feel loved and supported. If I were you I would apologize. I know you were just trying to help her by voicing your concerns but it probably just upset her and it doesn't seem like she needs to feel any more alone or concerned she is making the right choices than she already does. I would let her know that no matter what you're there for her and you support her and just want to see her happy. Things might work out for her but no matter what she is doing the best she can. Its not like she is intentionally harming her child. People have ups and downs in life and its important to be able to stay strong during those times.
I don't understand why women move so fast with all these men and they have kids; especially daughters. The lives of kids are innocent and they depend on us to keep them safe. Not saying that you shouldn't date after having kids, but that man or woman shouldn't be around you kids or living with you and your kids. People can't be trusted. If I ever divorced it'll be hard for me to let another man into their lives. I'll do life in prison for taking the life of someone taking my children's innocence. A little off topic #Sorry
@believeinbuddha update so she left him . Not sure the whole story but she reached out to me .. I didn't say told u so or anything like that I just told her I'm glad she made a good choice and saw things and did things that would benefit her daughter she said she felt very stupid and I told her she shouldn't cus we all have to take chances and make decisions not based on others thought