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Caitlin
Caitlin
В ожидании первенца

So I need to vent because I can't post anything on Facebook or Snapchat about how irritated I am. So…

So I need to vent because I can't post anything on Facebook or Snapchat about how irritated I am.

So my ex said that he plans on staying in the military for another 4-5 years or 8-10, he was really stepping on top of his words. He might got to NC, Italy, or Alaska but he definitely wants out of California. He said since he's going to school for family law he already knows what to do and how to do it about getting custody of our daughter. He said that if I don't agree to anything he wants, I'll look bad and the court will just give him what he wants because California is a backwards liberal state and they won't favor me since I'm on disability and can't provide for my daughter.

He's just pretty much saying he will get his way and I'll be screwed.

The only thing going for him now is he finally got his license but still has no vehicle, no house to provide for her and assumes that the daycare on base will watch a breastfed newborn for free.

I'm going in on Thursday to get the self help with the paperwork but I'm feeling super irritated that he automatically assumes he will get his way because we are a "backwards liberal state."

😡😡😡😡

24

Комментарии

sweet_sadie

Sade

Мама троих детей

Don't believe a word he says. California laws are different but that doesn't mean he will get the baby. Plus he is in the military n he would need a family care plan to help with the baby while he is gone. N why would they honor him full custody if you're there for the baby and he would be gone most of the time anyways doesn't make sense to me

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@sweet_sadie,

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@sweet_sadie, I literally have so much of what he said and I don't know if I should be worried or not.

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sweet_sadie

Sade

Мама троих детей

Don't be worried at all. He literally has to prove to the judge that you are unfit mother and can't take care of yourself or the baby.

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@sweet_sadie, and by the time we go to court, I won't be on disability. The only issue is we are married and currently filling for divorce.. so he has a fair chance but not so fair since he's in the military...

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sweet_sadie

Sade

Мама троих детей

Not at all. He is using his words to scare you. Please don't let him brain wash you into saying he can have custody of the baby. Or you saying you won't be able to provide for the baby and you think that it's best for him to get custody of the baby it's a game girl I've been down that road before.

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@sweet_sadie, oh I don't believe it at all. Its just like since he said he's going to school for family law and has only been in the military for about 2 years, he doesn't have much knowledge like he claims. He's making it out that since he knows things from the books, he can get custody.

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sweet_sadie

Sade

Мама троих детей

Girl u got this. Just stay strong n have tons of faith cuz god don't like ugly. I am here if u need me

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vark

Victoria Randall

Мама сына-младенца

This guy is disturbed if he is trying to take a newborn away from his/her mom. Very selfish and controlling man that would even consider that. Unless you are unfit, which he would have to prove, I wouldn't be worried. Get a group of people who can vouch for you and would be willing to testify on your behalf in court

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@sweet_sadie, I really do appreciate it. It's stressful because I don't want to keep her from her dad but I only want him to have visitation..

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@vark, I have my entire family, my friend, her family.

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vark

Victoria Randall

Мама сына-младенца

@caityyy_lynnn good. And don't let him get to you. Take care of yourself and your baby

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@vark, I am, literally been doing this since I was 4 weeks. But he's confident that he has this and will win. I'm sure he's going to try to use whatever he can against me and will have nothing.

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vark

Victoria Randall

Мама сына-младенца

@caityyy_lynnn yah, guys bluff all the time by acting like they are super confident in something they have no idea about. It's really a matter of the facts but he is trying to scare you and he is doing a good job. If it helps do some research on why a baby should stay close to mom early in life. Dad's are important too but especially breastfed babies they have to be near mama

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@vark, he's saying since he's going to school and doing family law, he has the upper hand. I'm just really irritated.

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vark

Victoria Randall

Мама сына-младенца

@caityyy_lynnn that absolutely does not give him the upperhand..you can probably Google: family law, custody battles, and know much more than him, lol

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vark

Victoria Randall

Мама сына-младенца

@caityyy_lynnn and yeah, I'd be hello pissed if someone threatened to take my baby who is still growing in my stomach away once they are born, like furious. I can see why you are so concerned, but do some research to help ease your mind.

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@vark, I do as much as I can handle. Reading on what to do for the divorce with an unborn baby and how to go about everything stresses me out because my poor daughter isn't even born yet and has to go through a lot.

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tayler

Tayler

He is only trying to scare you. It doesn't matter how much he knows or how much experience he has or where he works, no one, no father, can take a child from it's mothers without reasonable cause! They would have to prove that you are unfit and incapable of taking care of your child... So unless you do drugs and don't plan on caring for your baby, then he can't do a thing. Just ignore him from now on. Don't respond to him or his nonsense. And definitely don't try and waste all kinds of money getting a lawyer because even if this guy does take you to court, it will only hurt him because they will instantly give you child support and they can't do visitation because he will be out of state.

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@tayler, even though currently we are married and will be going through a divorce plus all this custody stuff..?

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tayler

Tayler

@caityyy_lynnn They can't let your baby go out of state without you or your consent. My first child i had with a man in the army. He was the same way as your husband. He was controlling and very very manipulative. He would tell me when I was pregnant how i would never have the baby and he was gonna take her AS soon as she was born and because he was in the army he had the power to is what he would say. I was young and very scared like you. Everyone around me told me not to worry. When she was born he did sign the birth certificate and I got child support because the army automatically set it up. They did not give him visitation because he was in another state. They told me when he got back that we could go back to court to arrange visitation. So when he got back that's what I did. He is suppose to get my daughter every other weekend and he doesn't . He actually doesn't see her at all.. which is quite sad but it is what it is... I realized from my experience that men are all talk! He seen how hard it is to care for a child when I had her. Any man who threatens to take a child from his or her mother is not any kind of man at all. When we went to court I didn't have a lawyer because I am broke, and you know what? As much as her dad said he would have the best lawyer he didn't have one either! And even if we did, they will not take a child from it's mother. Especially as an infant.

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@tayler, I have yet to talk to anyone who has gone through something similar to me, at all... this was truly helpful.. is it okay if I message you later on today.? I'm going to try to sleep since I've been up talking with my family about all of this.

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tayler

Tayler

@caityyy_lynnn Yes feel free to message me anytime you need! ❤

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caityyy_lynnn

Caitlin

В ожидании первенца

@tayler, thank you, thank you, thank you! 😭💕

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